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Every Man Should Be Allowed To Be A Man Once In His Life

  • Written by Undercover
  • November 27th, 2007
  • 7 min read


Black Pagoda Patpong Bangkok


As I was glancing at the online news the other day I came to a story that expresses the feeling of many men who have decided to call Thailand their new home. Many places outside of Thailand have simply run amok with political correctness, risk of sexual harassment allegations for smiling at the wrong time and so on. News stories from Australia not allowing Santa to say "ho ho ho" because it may offend someone as it may be understood as a slang term for prostitute. When I first read that simply three words came to mind "Get a Life!!" Messing with Santa is going way too far. If Santa is having a hard time navigating the minefield of political correctness, for anyone lesser it must be total madness.

To be honest I don’t know how much more men outside of Thailand will be able to endure. There is already fallout that some companies will only hire men so they can actually be men and not worry about some female employee who just happens to be at the wrong time of the month and… WHAM… there goes his job. Then there is the daily ho hum of dealing with people who never smile unless they want something from you. Certainly I can’t blame them for not smiling.

To be honest it comes right down to basics, men are not allowed to be men. Men have bad habits just as women, but it seems only men are being punished by society. Not every man is the same but even the most admired men find themselves walking on egg shells just to make it through the day.

Then there is the long wait for men to get their few weeks of holiday and head off to Thailand. The more I think about that significant journey of 24 hours or more for some men with the key destination being the go-go bars of Thailand, the luckier I feel living here. There are so many men making that journey just so they can act like men and have a good time, the more I can appreciate living just 10 minutes from Soi Cowboy.

There is a significant difference in how men act in the bars between low and high season. During high season the men are clearly out to have a good time not caring in the least about being politically correct. In fact as I watch them they clearly appear to be suffering from a long drought of not being able to act like a man. Even in the relative comfort of a bar or a pub near their home, they can’t and won’t act as they do in the go-go bars of Thailand. Doing so at home there is always the chance word may get back to someone who best should not know he is a man and… WHAM… more fallout from being a man.

During low season it is mostly locals who visit the go-go bars. Even then the men act in ways they would never act back in their home country. The girls are playful and often initiate being playful before the men. Simply allow that to happen back home and… WHAM… there goes his reputation of being well trained to behave. It is not too hard to close your eyes and visualize men wearing a leash and a collar with women holding the leash in one hand, and with their lawyer’s number selected on their mobile phone in the other hand.

Then there are the men that are unfortunate enough that brought their female partners to Thailand. I can’t count the number of times I have seen a very attractive Thai lady pass the couple on the street and offer that oh so wonderful Thai greeting of a smile to the man. The only mistake the man makes is returning the smile. That simple natural smile triggers a reaction in his female partner that starts with a look that could burn holes in the space shuttle’s heat shield. That is quickly followed by an interrogation of wanting to know who she is and how he knows her. Needless to say the rest of his day he is reminded of his leash and collar.

There are a few men who at least try to be men. On one occasion I saw a couple on holiday poke their heads in a go-go bar and the woman announced "I don’t want to go in there." His reply was "OK I will meet you back at the hotel later." That resulted in him being visually incinerated on the spot from her gaze. I swear you could actually see the flames coming from her eyes. What happened after that in their hotel room is anyone’s guess or more so after that very, very long flight home.

In the efforts of some to make the perfect world outside of Thailand with political correctness, that attempt has resulted in major conflicts with man’s inherent imperfection of wanting to be a man. One can’t help but ask, a perfect world for who? It is certainly not for men. I shudder to think there are young adolescents getting ready to enter manhood who have never known any other life.

I can’t help but wonder how many men spend their lives not knowing what it is like to be a man. Certainly once a man has visited Thailand alone he knows what it is like. In China there is a saying that reads "For every ten men that visit Thailand, eleven want to stay." I don’t think there are too many men that would argue that point. So that saying certainly prompts the thought; Is Thailand wrong and everywhere else right, or is Thailand right and everywhere else wrong?

However as men have discovered, Thailand is an oasis in a world of intolerance. It is a place where a man can smile and feel like a man. A man of 35 or older may feel out of place at a disco or nightclub back in their home country as he may be viewed as a relic of a time gone by. In Thailand a man who is of retirement age can feel very comfortable in the midst of young Thai ladies dancing away on the dance floor and not feel out of place at all.

A man should be able to smile at least once in his life without the fear of being repressed. A man should be able to express himself as a man without the fear of offending another with his actions of natural self expression. A man should be allowed to be a man at least once in his life, and it is so terribly sad that is not the norm. A man should be able to express to a woman that he finds her attractive without the fear of repercussions. A man should be able to tell someone their opinion without fear of upsetting them, losing their job, or getting sued.

Are people so mentally fragile in the west that they can’t cope with life without being offended? Is everyone in the west on Xanax or Prozac just so they can cope with the off chance of someone smiling at them without permission? Perhaps the reason things are so messed up is because way too many people are on Xanax or Prozac. It seems those people are constructing that perfect vanilla drug induced world without the drugs at everyone’s expense.

There is a saying that America is the land of the free and the home of the brave. I think that phrase may need to be re-evaluated for accuracy in today’s politically correct world.

Yes living in Thailand does have its drawbacks too. All those beautiful Thai women everywhere can certainly cause your neck to get strained as you can freely look and smile at them without offending them. In fact they actually enjoy the attention. Every man should be a man at least once in his life.

Stickman's thoughts:

This quote says it all – “Thailand is an oasis in a world of intolerance .”

The world *is* going crazy and Thailand, for the time being, one could argue, is not. God help it stay this way. Despite some of the crazy things that happen here, the more I hear about life in the West, the less desire I have to return.