Readers' Submissions

Sometimes When We Touch The Honesty Is Too Much




More than anything I wanted Princess to tell me the truth. I had tried most things I knew. None of them worked 100% of the time. Since I have four daughters and three ex-wives I have a lot of experience with trying to get the truth out of women.

I had stopped paying Princess when she began her latest job. I go my way and she goes hers. At first it was hard refusing her daily requests for cash since they were all for good reasons like food, transportation and medical care but I reminded myself she was pulling in 50,000 baht a month and did not need anything from me. I pay the rent and if she wants to sleep in my bed I would not deny her this. When she brings over a lady friend or two I include them in my hospitality.

When I watch “Court TV” I realize the average 18 year old female of most nationalities let alone a Thai female could completely bamboozle any of the legal eagles presented on the tube.

By the time I met Princess I was an expert at body language, ESP and fortune telling.

A friend of mine is a polygraph operator in New York. He has informed me that it is a worthless exercise to hook a Thai bargirl up to a truth divining machine. Personally he never got past what village she came from and how many sisters she had.

I have read on Stickman and other Thai forums that most Thai people especially Thai women have no idea what goes on in gogos and beer bars.

Imagine the implications of that statement. There are a lot more deaf, dumb and blind people in Thailand than any UN statistic has recorded so far.

I read three forums about Thailand on a relatively regular basis.

The largest of them primarily for visa and news information. Normally it is accurate for those purposes. When any of the pundits on there stray into the entertainment or personal issues in Thailand it is wildly inaccurate. <An absolutely classic statement, and one I agree with 100%Stick>

I read another forum for primarily bar information. The posters on that forum purport to be experts at Thailand’s naughty nightlife. A larger group of uniformed people would be hard to assemble even if one concentrated on Alzheimer’s clinics exclusively for recruitment.

I crossed over the line between Farang and friend a couple of weeks ago.

I have not yet figured out exactly why. She lied to me a couple of times and I confronted her with the truth. Partly a guess and partly perception and years of experience with the women in my own family.

She came to the conclusion that I had a spy in her close circle of friends and that I knew her boss and her boss’s boss. All of those have an element of truth but nothing like she imagined.

I think she decided to take the path of least resistance and started telling me the truth.

Does speaking Thai mean that you will know what is on the mind of a Thai woman?

I have a friend who speaks perfect Thai. He is the owner of a large entertainment venue in Pattaya. All of his employees know he speaks Thai. They told me, “He know everything.” In addition to Thai he also speaks Lao. Does he know what is going on in his business?

If he entered the business speaking only English and used a Thai interpreter he might now know what is going on. After a while when a group of Thai people think you don’t understand them they begin to treat you as a piece of furniture. If you can control your facial reactions it is at that point when you begin to understand what is really going on.

I have an opinion of myself as realistic. I have an opinion of myself as being well-informed and almost beyond shockability.

I was wrong. I was not prepared for the information I was going to receive. This submission would be gone in a New York minute if I told you even the first ten minutes of a Princess’s normal post work conversation.

One of the more interesting stories had to do with a lady who in an attempt to be sanitary took an enema before an encounter with a gentleman who was back door oriented. Unbeknownst to her all of the solution was not expelled after the application of the above treatment. As she took the position normally referred to as canine style, awaiting her Middle Eastern partner, the tension mounted. She giggled and squirmed and purred. He grunted and moaned in anticipation of the act. As Abdul assumed the position to consummate his desires the remainder of the solution came rushing out as if driven by a rocket launch.

Then there was the Italian guy with an appendage so large he would have been declared guilty of animal cruelty if left alone at a horse ranch.

The most politically incorrect saga that was related to me was of the man with no legs. The story has something to offend almost everyone. Almost everyone that is, except Thai bar girls. I must admit that tears came to my eyes listening to them talk about it. It was one of the most humorous vignettes that had ever passed my way. It brings to the fore the fact that money number one is really the only constant in Thailand. <Oh, come on Kelly, we want you to tell us about itStick>

Do bar girls talk about penis size? Do bar girls like large penises? Do bar girls have orgasms? Do bar girls have orgasms with men they have only met five minutes before? Do bar girls have orgasms with men with large penises more frequently than with small penises? Do some bar girls actually like anal sex? Do some bar girls normally lubricate back there?

I know. Do you?

The things punters don’t talk about to other punters are talked about openly to bar girls.

Before I got the truth I had an ambivalent if somewhat jaded view of sex tourists. Now I find myself wondering if this one or that one was the guy asking for that particular act or person or persons.

I won’t go into the perversions because they are illegal, immoral and just downright unsanitary. But it has changed my view of many sex tourists – and not in a positive way.

So I lay in bed. Princess has just given me a play by play of the evening. Her doot jep, her hoy jep and she has pimples on her chin from too much over spray. She has described to me how she holds the fluid under her tongue till she gets to the toilet. She can even smile while holding the liquid there and demonstrates this with some bubbly saliva. Then she asks me tenderly, “You want boom sing tonight?”

Sometimes when we touch the honesty is too much.

Thai Dating, Singles and Personals

Stickman's thoughts:

Interesting, as always. My take on your opinion of sex tourists deteriorating is that they actually have a pretty bad attitude towards the girls, and many have little or even zero respect for the girls. Some of the things the guys get up to, or try to get up to, is quite mind-blowing. Any bar owner or manager in the know can tell you some shocking stories.