Are Thai Women Better Than Western Women?
I’ve seen various viewpoints proposed on this site regarding whether Thai girls are actually better to be in a relationship with (or not) than western women. Having been married for 6 years to a Thai girl I’ve been thinking to myself…was
my ex better or different than the average western woman I’ve dated? And if so, how?
Firstly, my Thai ex wife really felt that it was her duty to keep me happy, especially sexually. This is quite in contrast to long-term western girlfriends I’ve had. I actually have to smile when I remember back to a conversation I had about sex with a previous long-term girlfriend. This was after 5 years of having sex about once a week (her preference) as opposed to the 3 -4 times that would be my preference. At one point in the conversation western girlfriend asked me “Do you mean you’d like me to have sex with you even if I don’t feel like it?” to which I emphatically replied “Yes”. She couldn’t believe it. I’ll just add that this conversation took place soon before I ended this relationship. In contrast to this, my Thai ex wife would actually become upset if she felt I wasn’t desiring her enough sexually, such as when I was putting in very long hours at work. She also had the greatest sexual appetite of any of the women I’ve dated as well, which needless to say I found great.
OK…thinking of other possible differences…my Thai girl ex wife didn’t like oral sex…not even me performing this on her (she was afraid of smelling bad). On the other hand the western women I’ve dated haven’t had any problem with oral sex…either giving or receiving. I’ve heard from other guys that their western women didn’t like to give oral, so perhaps I’ve just been lucky in the past with western girlfriends with regard to this.
Regarding money…my Thai girl ex wife had no real concept of how to deal with money. On a basic level she couldn’t truly grasp the idea that if you have $X funds available you can’t spend $10X. When I would curtail her spending she would always seem to consider that I was being mean, rather than the fact that she simply wanted to spend more money than we had. In retrospect, I really should have drawn stricter lines regarding spending as well as other behaviour in the beginning of our relationship…but that’s another story. Since our divorce my ex is having serious problems with money…credit cards maxed out, overdrawing her bank account etc….easily for me to have forecasted this. Actually, the western women (I keep using the general term “western” because I have dated a number of non-American western women that I don’t consider having been essentially different than American women) I’ve dated haven’t had this issue with money and spending, though I have friends whose wives can spend money like it’s water…and then complain that their husbands are working so many hours.
Many contributors to this site have made similar regarding Thai girls' inability to manage money and plan for the future. I have to wonder if part of this comes from their not having grown up with any money that needed to be budgeted. This reminds me of the stories of lottery winners who are broke after a few years…they just have never learned how to deal with budgeting that amount of money. Actually, I think given the environment in Thailand their attitude of living for the “now” may be intelligent. I’ve read comments here such as that, given a choice between 10,000 baht today or 1 million baht in a year a Thai girl would absolutely take the 10,000 baht now. Considering the reality in Thailand, if a Thai made me this same offer I’d probably make the same choice of taking the 10,000 now, because very likely I’d never see the person making me this hypothetical offer again. I have to wonder if historical economic and social conditions in Thailand have fostered this attitude toward money…and the problem for Thais going into the future is to change their attitudes and behaviour as economic conditions change.
Another topic is Thai girl submissiveness. I’ve read a number of times the claim that Thai girls may “act” submissive when you first meet them, but that this is only something superficial or is something that will disappear over time. I actually found my Thai wife to have been much more submissive for the entire 6 years we were married than any western woman I’ve been with. Sure, she would oftentimes try to get her way via different means, and there would be certain situations in which she’d be more assertive than in others, but the great majority of the time she looked to me to make decisions much more than a western girl. And even beyond “decision making” this Thai girl was much more submissive in an emotional sense than any western woman I’ve ever met.
Another characteristic of my ex is the pouting, sulking and cold-shoulder at times that I’ve read about a number of times on this site. It’s been very enlightening to read others’ accounts of Thai girls and to see that characteristics like this are somewhat common among the Thai sisterhood. This is another area where I see now I should have drawn a line in the beginning of our relationship that this type of behaviour wasn’t acceptable…but live and learn.
On the other hand, most of the women I have dated since my divorce have had some fairly serious emotional issues, though I don’t consider that all western women necessarily have such issues. Rather, I chalk this up to the idea that if a woman isn’t married by the time she’s 35 years old…there’s likely a very good reason why she isn’t (i.e. emotional issues).
Having previously lived outside the U.S. for five years (in South America) I felt culture shock when I moved back to the States. What struck me the most was the extent of the superficiality and frivolousness here. It was like the most serious decision anyone had to make was which of 52 flavours of ice cream to have at the mall that evening. In less developed countries people are living on a more basic level of survival and there’s something about this that makes life and the people there seem more real to me.
OK, last but certainly not least are the physical attributes and beauty of Thai girls. My ex was the typical petite (5 foot nothing, 90 pounds), slim and beautiful TG. Not only have I never dated a western woman that could compare to my Thai ex, I have only seen a very few western women who could compare to her physical beauty, and the few who could were probably 10 years younger than her. For me at least, there is simply no comparison between the average Thai girl and the average western woman. I teach University undergraduate classes (average age 18 – 23 years) and for those of you who no longer reside in the west…the increasing overweight and obesity statistics you hear about are for real. At the same time, it’s funny to me to hear on TV the politically correct response that women need to be happy with how they look and that big is beautiful.
Many American women wanted nothing to do with my Thai wife, which I interpret as being due to how she made them look drab and dull in comparison. I also have a suspicion that this is at least part of the reason why western women get upset by seeing a western man with a somewhat younger Asian woman. I think jealousy between women can be extreme, especially regarding beautiful women. And most western women don’t come near the physical beauty of a Thai girl and they know it. This threatens a western woman’s ability to attract men and so they get angry. This is compounded even further by the fact that women outnumber men more and more as they get older and hence have an increasingly difficult time attracting a suitable man. I think if more men “opted out” of the pursuit of western women in favour of women from other cultures this might actually start to have a positive impact on the attitudes and behaviour of western women. We can only hope.
So I suppose the final conclusion of this writing exercise is that while both western and Thai women do have advantages and disadvantages, at least for myself the scales are tipped much more in favour of the Thai girls. I’d love to marry another Thai girl and hope that I have learned from my previous marriage and will now be better able to choose and create a permanent relationship (I plan on coming for an extended stay in Thailand after I finish my Ph.D.). Perhaps what it will simply come down to is (hopefully) finding a Thai girl with a minimum of the negative points while still retaining the positives we all love about Thai girls. Best of luck to us all.
I think the advantages and disadvantages of Thai / farang women are relative. I think they cancel out each other and it really comes down to what an individual is looking for. I really don't think you can say one is better than the other although comparison in certain areas are inevitable.