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Vicarious’s Adventure

  • Written by Vicarious
  • September 20th, 2007
  • 45 min read


Vicarious's Adventure
By Vicarious


First let me say what a site this is! I mean where else can you find such an abundance of information and shared experiences about Thailand and Asia in general?

The Foundation

First a little about myself, I am in my early 30’s married with 2 kids and for the last 15 years I have worked and or lived in Asia. I am in the US Navy with my primary job site being a ship. Travel well you name it and I have been there – Philippines, Hong Kong, Singapore, Japan, Korea, Guam, Russia, China, Palau, Australia, India, Iran, Iraq, UAE, Bahrain, Central and South America and the list goes on. The reason I mention this is to give you an idea that I am well traveled and have been there, done that. The problem with all the travel and others have mentioned you tend to after time take everything for granted, and forget to notice the beauty of a place and when it comes to the women you become a bit jaded towards them. I promise there is a point to all this so just bear with me while I lay the foundation. So my current wife whom I have been married to for 4 years is great. I really can not complain about her at all. She is not western. I got so tired of the western woman’s give me, do for me if you want me attitude that I decided to look overseas for a woman who has more to offer in the way of a soul. She is from Eastern Europe, and I will admit is the perfect match for me. She does a great job of managing the household when I am gone for months at a time. As a mother, what can I say? The boys are well loved and cared for, so I really can’t complain about her at all. As for me, she takes very good care of me and strives to make everything great. So what’s the problem, right? Well I think I have spent too much time chasing Asian girls in my 20’s to let go of that. I thought that I would have grown out of it, and with such a great woman in my life that I would be fine with the temptation. Alas I was wrong.

Discovery

Can anyone remember how they found the Stickman website? I sure can. It was 3 weeks ago and my ship had just left Hong Kong after 5 days there and I was spring on a Filipino bar girl. I was looking for some perspective on the whole situation to get my head straight. Ok you want to know the story right, well here it is. A buddy and I got off work and prepared our things for the 2 nights we will spend on shore in the hotel. I decided to stay in my usual hotel Renaissance Harbor View, what a nice hotel it is, if you ever wonder about it as a place to stay let me tell you it’s worth every penny. I have been to Hong Kong about a dozen times overt the last 10 years and stay there every time. My buddy had a room in the same place and we were off. Since the ship was anchored in the Harbor we had to get onto passenger boat and endure the hour long trip in to the “Fleet landing” I was in no big hurry as check in time was not until 2 pm, we hit the beach at about 10 am and it’s already hot. This is the first time I have been to HK in July and I did not know that it got this hot there. We grabbed a bite to eat, a few phone cards for later, and went upstairs to the liquor store. I bought a 5th of Johnny Walker black, and he got a 5th of Jack. It’s now just a little after noon and we decide to try and see if we can check in early to the hotel. It’s about a 5 minute walk from the fleet landing and we arrive and are in luck, our rooms are ready, after a few minutes we have our room keys and our on our way. It was while I was in the elevator that it hit me, standing next to me was this beautiful Asian girl with a nice short skirt, I thought to myself that I really miss this, how am I going to survive 5 days in HK without chasing after the girls? I get to my room and it’s my usual room with a great view of the harbor, 1/3 of the room is glass window, and it’s amazing how a nice view and a single bed to a guy who sleeps around 380 other men can have the effect of paradise on earth. I get settled in unpack my clothes set up my laptop, take a shower and mix up a drink. Within minutes that last 3 weeks at sea seem a distant memory. I need some ice so I call down to the front desk they say Good afternoon MR.—— how can I help you? I ask for some ice and they tell me it will be right up, she was not kidding within 2 minutes I have a large bucket of ice delivered by a very attractive girl, now this is service. As the drinks go down like water I check my email and update all the necessary services on my laptop. At this point I am a ¼ way through my fifth and it’s just after 2 pm, I am feeling good and decide to call the family before it gets too late, hoping that something in this conversation will convince me to just stay in the room and watch TV. Well that did not happen, but none the less everyone is fine and doing good, so there is nothing to worry about back home. Over the next 3 hours I watch a little TV look up things on the computer and get my bottle down to half way. This is the point that I usually stop, especially if I am going out for the night, I don’t want to get too trashed and not remember things the next day. I call up my buddy and ask if he is ready to go out, he said he would be up to my room in a few, so I get dressed and we are off.

The Hunt

For those of you who have not been to HK it has one of the best bar scenes in Asia, I’d say other then Tokyo nothing else compares. You have it all, from nice pubs in the Central district, to discos on Kowloon side to the famous Wanchai District. Wanchai is a mix of pubs, discos and go-go bars. We decide to start in Wanchai, we head into a nice pub for a few drinks not much going on at this point it’s still early, in HK things don’t kick off until around 10 pm so we have a lot of time to kill before the party really starts. It’s about 8 pm now and my buddy decides he wants to check the go-go bars, he is not as experienced as I am in these matters so I take a few minutes to inform him of the do’s and don’ts of his chosen course. Silly me even at this point I am in denial that I will just take him there let him find a suitable “friend” for the night and that’s it. As we make out way down Hennessy Road the girls are relentless in trying to get us into the bars. My first question is how much is the barfine, if they won’t tell me upfront then I don’t need to go in to be bothered with buying ladies drinks all night long. I finally get one bar that tells me how much the barfine is and my next question is what kind of girls they have, the answer was Filipino, so I look to my buddy to see if he approves and he does so in we go. I sit down and here it comes the usual “by me drink” I say no I am not interested I am just here with my friend ask him maybe he will. After a few minutes they get the idea that I am not interested and leave me alone. My friend on the other hand has chosen a nice girl to chat it up with for a while as I sip my drink and have a look around. You see my plan at this point is to get him hooked up and back to his room and I will go solo the rest of the night. I have been here enough times that I know where to go and not have to pay for what I am looking for. It was a good plan, but unrealistic as it turns out. As I said it was still early and girls were still showing up for work, and through the door walks a very attractive Filipino girl, I tried to look as if I did not notice her but I did and that is the beginning of the end, because mama-san caught me looking at her too. So within a few minutes she is sitting next to me and after one ladies drink we are talking the usual. She was very shy and nervous, but there was something about her that peaked my interests. My buddy is ready to go after a few ladies drinks and a few for himself he is satisfied that he has found what he wants for the night. So I ask my girl M, if she wants to go out with me tonight. I told her that I intend to go to some clubs and have fun and if she is interested in that I’d pay the barfine and off we would go, she said yes and I paid the barfine.

My buddy wants to go back to his room, so we all head that way, he is not so good with his alcohol as I am, he’s had about his limit of drink for the night where I am just getting started. So we head back to the rooms and I sit and talk with M for a while the usual how old are you (she’s 24 not that big of a age difference), where are you from etc…Out of the blue she give me a big hug and says “thank you so much for taking me” I was a bit surprised and wondered where that came from. So I ask her why she is thanking me, she goes on to explain that she has only been there for 5 days in HK and that if she does not have a barfine at least once a month she will be sent back and have to pay her airfare, and lodging back to the “agency”. I said ok well you have this month covered so nothing to worry about. She goes on to tell me that she was supposed to come to HK and work in a restaurant, but when she got there they made her work in the bar. Now I can tell you that guys this does happen, I have all kinds of information available to me as a member of the military that suggests this happens. To further my belief that this is the case with her, later in our talking I asked about family and she showed me pictures of her mother and father, brothers sisters pretty much the whole family, and while she was digging through her wallet I noticed a piece of paper and asked to see it, she let me take it, and it’s a photo copy of her passport. I asked her about it and she said that they took it when she arrived at the airport. The point is this, weather or not it was true, I had been convinced that she was not there for this type of work. Despite what you might think you know about us Sailors we are not all bad guys. With the idea in my head that she was a sex slave it changed a few things for me. It’s one thing to be with a girl who for whatever reason chooses that line of work, but to be with one that was lied to and came to HK for work and was forced into it is different. At least to me, so at that point I decided to cut my losses and just go out with her and have fun, no expectations of sex, just fun. I ordered some room service for her and told her I was going to take a shower and get ready to go out. I came out of the bathroom and she was eating, I got dressed in the bathroom, as to not make her feel obligated in any way. I sat on the bed next to her to put on my shoes and she hugged me again and said thank you for the food, I told her no problem and gave her a kiss on the forehead. Now guys I am telling you that this whole thing has taken a turn that I did not expect at all. It went from bargirl to a friends’ little sister who was in trouble. Now I am not going to rescue her it’s her problem to work out not mine, but I was not going to take advantage of her situation either, at the end of the day I still have to look in the mirror and like what I see looking back at me. I called my buddy to see if he wanted to go out and I could tell as soon as he picked up the phone that he was sleeping, he passed on the offer as I expected. One thing I have learned is don’t take your wallet with you when you go out drinking, so I took my ATM card and military ID out and put my wallet in the room safe, I asked M if she wanted to put anything in there and to my surprise she put her wallet in there too. She was very trusting of me and I had no idea why, but I just went with it locked it up and off we go.

On the Town

I am troubled by the story she has told me and I decide that the only way to forget about it is to drink the night away. As I mentioned there are a lot of nice clubs to go to in HK, so we start at one of my favorite ones Dusk till Dawn, we get there and the place is packed, there is a live band playing and the atmosphere is just the way I like it. I asked her if she wanted a drink she said no, so I got my usual double Johnny and coke. We enjoyed the music for a while and I asked her if she like to dance and she smiled and said “yes very much” it’s been my experience in HK that the best disco’s are on Kowloon side, this requires a taxi so we hail a taxi and are off to one of the many on that side. It’s about a 20 minute ride to the other side so I ask her a few more questions about her family, during this process she slides over close to me and puts her arm through mine and seems to be really at ease. I felt good about this because I have just spent 3 weeks at sea and my goal for the night to have fun. It was a sign to me that we are going to have fun, so I was a bit at ease. One thing to mention here, believe it or not the military has tried to clean up it’s act in recent years. Whenever we are in a foreign port we are required to have a buddy with us at all times, this means that someone off your ship has to with you all the time. I guess they figure if you are not alone you can’t get into as much trouble, it actually ends up getting more people in trouble. If you are caught without your buddy then your time off in that port ends and you stay on the ship for the remainder of that port. Another “rule” is we all had to be back in our rooms or at the fleet landing by 2 am, I knew neither one of these rules we ones that I was going to follow in HK. It’s a big place with about 8 million people there is no way that anyone is going to find me. Ok back to the taxi ride, I knew at this point I was going to get pretty drunk tonight so I made sure that M knew the hotel and room number and gave her 100 HK to hold onto for the taxi ride back. We get to the disco and I order another drink my usual, and again she does not want a drink, she told me she does not drink, ok suite yourself I think. Off to the dance floor we go. I always try to find the out of the way local places when I go out. After spending so much time with guys on the ship when I am in port I want to get away from most of them. Since I have been to HK so many time I know where those places are, but since I was one of the few western guys in the place I stood out. This is the place that I would have come without my date, because here I know that I will find a nice non-bargirl for the night. Since I had a date for the night I was not looking…..much. After a few minutes on the dance floor with M a few other girls had joined in the circle and started to get a little close, apparently to close for M’s liking she told them to back off that I was with her and she was not sharing. I was really surprised at this, and did not know what to make of the whole event but shrugged it off and had another drink. I just wanted to have fun and didn’t care about all the details. After another attempt on the dance floor and another confrontation with a few new girls I decided to head back to some pubs in Wanchai. After all, the last thing I need is some trouble with the police, so back in the cab we go. She is holding my hand now and practically sitting on my lap at this point. Still I am treating her like my friends little sister, but I enjoy the physical contact. We get to our destination it’s called Devils Advocate, and I have been here a few times, great place to just sit back and enjoy a few drinks. We sat and talked some more she was opening up to me about life in PI and how she is here to help her family, I asked her if she had any kids she said no, but between all her brothers and sisters they have 15 kids. I could see that her family was really important and she wanted to help them out in any why she could. We head to another favorite spot of mine called Insomniac now this is where everything gets a bit fuzzy, it was packed and had a live band, I had a few drinks there and next thing I know I look at my watch and it’s 3 am, so I decide that is it for the night and I am going back to the room. I told M that she did not have to come with me, that I enjoyed the night with her and it’s OK if she wants to go home, She said no she wants to come with me so I said OK lets go. I don’t remember much after that.

The next day

I woke up early, that’s what 15 years of getting up at 6 am will do to you, I got up at about 7 am, and was surprised to see that she was still there. Even more surprising was the fact that both of us were naked, I wondered for a minute did anything happen, but settled to the though that no I was way to drunk. So I put my arms around her and said good morning, to which she responded with a good morning. It was at this point that I could truly admire her body, she was nicely tan with the best ass I have seen in years, I didn’t let my hands wander to much, just held her close for a while and asked her what she wanted to do today, she said she wanted to go to the market, so I agreed that we would go after breakfast. I got up checked my email and looked in the mini-fridge to my surprise I had only a quarter of my bottle left, so that means I drank more after I got back to the room. I turned on the TV and sat on the bed still naked staring at the news. One nice thing about HK is since it was British at one time there are still a lot of English channels. I didn’t notice her moving behind me and she surprised me when she hugged me from behind, it was nice to have the feeling of a nice warm beautiful body touching me again. I told her I was going to take a shower she said OK, so I went to the shower. A few minutes passed and she showed up in the bathroom asking if she could join me? I was stunned but said sure, she stepped in and looked a bit uncomfortable at first she kept her back to me, but after a few minutes she felt comfortable enough to face me. She grabbed the washcloth from me and told me that she was going to wash me, I told her it’s ok I can do it, I have been doing it for many years now and I can handle it, but she would not give in so I let her have her way. She did a pretty good job not like the girls in BKK at Eden but it was nice, so I washed her afterwards, and this was really the first time I got a good look at her body, wow she was beautiful, she had a nice tight body, and everything was completely shaven, which is a big turn on to me for some reason. After the shower I dried her off and wrapped her in a hotel bath robe and she went to the bed. I followed and laid down staring at the TV for a few and got up to open the curtains, remember the wall of glass, it was a nice morning, so we laid there for a while just watching TV when she decided to take off her robe and start kissing me. Well gentlemen I am not one to refuse affection so I indulged in the moment and things started to get pretty heated. She proceeded to mount me and I told her that she did not have to do this if she didn’t want to that I am fine and I don’t want her to do anything she didn’t want to do. She just ignored what I said and did what she wanted to do. It was slow going at first, the pieces just didn’t seem to want to fit together, so it took some effort on her part to make it fit, talk about tight. If that does not make you feel like a man I don’t know what will. Finally things are getting started and for the first few minutes all she says is ouch, now picture this if you will, she is doing this not me, I am not forcing myself on her, not only that I told her she didn’t have to do anything. So does it bother me, well not at all, the way I see it it’s what she wants to do and I am the victim. After a few minutes things seem to fit a bit better, like breaking in a new pair of shoes, and she is having her way with me, I am not complaining of course, actually I am enjoying it, so much so that I forget that the curtains are open, once I realize that I am trying to remember if the windows are tinted, than I decide I don’t care. Something about the whole experience was really erotic, maybe it was the curtains, or the fact that she started this session, I am still not sure but it’s one of the best sexual experiences I have had, and there have been many, to the point where there are but a few that I actually remember.

To the market

I asked her what she wanted for breakfast, and she told me chicken and rice, after looking at the room service menu and seeing this is not a option for breakfast we decide to look out in town. We get dressed and off we go, I will say one nice thing about the global domination of Starbucks is the ability to find one everywhere now. For me it’s not that I love Starbucks I like that it’s consistent a triple mocha in the US is the same as a triple mocha in HK, I spotted one and stopped to get my pick me up after the previous night's drunk fest. It hit the spot, again M did not want anything, we were walking to the market and she saw her co-worker that went home with my buddy so they stopped and chatted for a bit. My understanding of Tagalog is extremely limited to a few words, but when she got to mentioning “ouch” I knew what they were talking about, her co-worker just looked at me and smiled and laughed and teased M. They continued to talk as we walked towards the market, they lived together in small place with 2 other girls, and M wanted to get some more clothes so she went up to her place while I waited with the co-worker. I’ll call her Lisa, I don’t remember her name but her English was really good and she went on to tell me that she looks after M since she is new to HK and new to this job. I asked her why M came to HK she said same as me to work in a restaurant, but they get here and are forced to work as a bar girl. She told me that she had been there 3 months and she was still ashamed of her job. She asked me how was last night so I explained that we went out and I got drunk and fell asleep, she said she knows M told her that. She asked about the morning and I said O it’s good so far, she told me that I was the first man that M had been with, I said well she has not been here long, she went on to explain that I was the first man in her life, that she was a virgin. I just sort of said O, and didn’t want to show a lot of reaction to this news. It would explain a lot but I wasn’t really buying it, I have heard it before, so we talked a little more and M came back down with a backpack and I told Lisa bye and to have a nice day. The market was just around the corner and there was a KFC there, so we decided that this would be the best place to find chicken and rice at 11 am I was not hungry so I didn’t order anything, she got what she wanted and as I went to pay for it she insisted that she pay. So I backed off and let her have it her way, after she ate we walked around the market, she needed socks I think and found some, but was looking at some other things too. While she was not looking I bought a few bottles of nail polish for her, she was looking and a few shirts that she seemed to like and I offered to get them and she said no it’s OK, again while she was not looking I got them for her. It’s was not much I think together it came out to about 15 USD, so I stuffed the things in my bag and we left the market. I asked her what she wanted to do and she said go back to room and relax, ok fine with me. I was a bit hung over anyhow and the heat was starting to get to me.

The rest of day 2

We get back to the room and I strip down to boxers and t shirt, to my surprise she does the same, strips down to t shit and underwear, nice sexy thong I might add. I asked her a little later when she had to be at work she told me she had the day off and wanted to spend it with me, so I was cool with that. It turned out to be an all day sex a thon lucky me. I had to work the next day (Thursday), and told her that I would not be able to see her the next day, she started to cry, I didn’t expect this at all, but she said she would miss me and wanted to know when I would see here again, I told her that I would be back Friday and I would see her then. So for the rest of the night it was sex, TV, a little talking followed by more sex, not bad at all. I didn’t sleep good that night, I never do when I know that I have to get up for work, I’m always afraid that I will miss the passenger boat in the morning and not make it to work on time, for those of you wondering what the big deal is, well let me tell you don’t be late for work in the military, it’s not a good thing. I got up at about 5 am and took a shower, she followed me in the shower and a little good morning sex was a nice pick me up. I get my stuff together and as I was putting my laptop away she gave me her email address, I told her I would write as soon as I got to the ship. I checked out of the hotel and we said our goodbye’s in the lobby, her eyes full of tears as I walked away.

Back to work

Being in the navy on a ship is a demanding job, one that I have come to love and hate at times, in the past 4 years I have spent about half of that time at sea, and then there is this thing we call “duty days” The crew is split into 3 sections and one section has to be on the ship at all times. Example one third of the crew or about 125 guys will come to work and not get off until the next morning, so that is where I am now I have duty for the next 24 hours, after all a ship built for war can be left alone. I have some morning reports to get done and spend a little time at the computer. While doing this is shoot off an email to M just to say hello and see if she responds, to my surprise not much time goes by maybe 20 minutes or so and she write me back, says she misses me and can’t wait to see me again etc… I go about my day and later in the evening when everything slows down I am left to my thoughts about the past 2 days with her. Which were fun and enjoyable, but also disturbing in a sense, I kept thinking of her story and how she was a bargirl against her will. I had some information about the next day that the go-go bars did not. A carrier battle group was coming to town, with them it brings several more ships and sailors looking for fun, about 9000 people all together. So there in my thoughts I found a solution to help her out, I decided that I would call her the next day and when I get over to that side of HK I would barfine her and save her from at least the initial blow of the fleet coming to town. It’s now Thursday, I have Friday off and we are leaving Saturday morning, what does that mean well it means that I have to be back to the fleet landing by midnight Friday, they do this to make sure that we a least get 5-6 hours of sleep before returning to sea, it’s for safety, and I know it but I still hate it. I remember the old days of showing up an hour before departing, but it seems more and more those days are gone. So I decided to take her for the day to save her from the rest of the fleet at least for one day. After all she did stay with me the second night and not ask for anything in return, so in a sense I owed it to her. Later that night I was getting my things ready for the next day and realized that I had not given her the nail polish and shirts I bought her, so I would have to do that tomorrow. I also decided to make a music CD to give her, I know it sounds like a high school thing, but while we were in the room I often played music on my laptop and she commented on how she like some of it, so I threw together a disk with a few of my favorite songs. She had asked a lot about where I was from so I put together another CD with some pictures of “home”. It didn’t seem like much to me at the time, it took all of 30 minutes to do.

Last day

So here I am and I hit the beach early, it’s just after 9 pm and I am at the fleet landing doing all my last minute shopping before the other ships get to town. I know that she had to work the night before and I was not going to call her until at least 2 pm, so she could rest, she worked until 5 am, and I didn’t want to bother her. While shopping for the folks back home I saw a nice little glass figurine of a butterfly and decided to get it for her, it was not much 10 dollars or so I don’t remember but it was something, at the time I had no idea how this would come to symbolize my life. Today I am with a group of guys there was 4 of us and it’s noon somewhere in the world right so lets find someplace to drink. We headed of to the Central district which is known for pubs, we started having a few drinks and it all went to smooth. I decided to take it easy today so I cut myself off after 2 of the usual, and it was almost 2 pm so I told the other guys I would be back in about a hour, I gave them M’s mobile number and said if I was not back in 2 hours to call. I grabbed a taxi back to the Wanchai district and gave her a call, she said she had to be at work at 2 today because the ships were in town, I thought great now everyone knows and the barfines will be higher than normal. I told her I was near her apartment and she said to come over, so I headed to her place and she was waiting for me outside, she didn’t invite me up, I believe it’s because of the other room mates, but I have seen others apartments and I have a idea of what it is, not much more than a shoebox to say the least. She greeted me with a smile, a hug and a kiss I gave her the things I had for her and she was so happy to receive them, just small stuff but you would think I gave her a million dollars, I told her I would wait and walk her to work. At this point I am wondering if I should take her for another day or not, I think something inside me was telling me that I was getting to close to her. Another part told me that I can’t fix her life and save her from all the guys that will come through HK, at beast I can delay it. So as I thought about that her room mates started to come down one by one and each one stopped to say hello and thank me for being so nice to her. Each one had something nice to say and I will admit that I felt good about it, if you know me I am a guy who likes to make others happy, and I felt that I had done that after their remarks. Lisa told me that M was in big trouble because she did not show up to work on Wednesday, I was confused and I told her that she had the day off, that is when Lisa went on to explain that they don’t get days off, that she skipped work. I was taken back by this, I didn’t know what to say, but felt bad at the same time. She also told me that M would not come out of the bathroom in the bar the whole night before, she stayed in there crying. I am not sure what to make of it all but I just put it in my pocket and waited for her to come down. She was the last one to come down and we started the 3 minute walk to her bar. I decided not to mention anything about me knowing of her trouble at work. We got there and of course mama-san was happy to see me and started with the usual chit chat, and asked if I was going to by ladies drink, to which I declined and said that I was just her to take M, mama-san told me it was to early, and I said well it’s now or never because I have to get back to Central district to meet up with the guys. She goes on to tell me that the barfine will be higher since it’s so early, and the ships are in town and M didn’t show up for work on Wednesday, so the negotiations begin, but here you negotiate with mama-san, not the girls like in some other places. Of course she starts off high, and I start off low. Now I know what some of you are thinking, give the girl what is asked she works for it, well your right in a way, but here they get less than a third of the barfine, and personally I would rather pay a low barfine and give them a tip to make up the difference. Not only that mama-san was trying to use the “relationship” to extort me and I was not having it. One thing that mama-san did not know is that I was a recruiter for a few years so I have the tools be persuasive myself. While mama-san was discussing it with the other mama-san I told M don’t worry it not about you it’s about the bar and their cut, she understood what I meant. So the negotiations lasted a few more rounds and I had gotten her down as low as she was willing to go which was still higher than the other night, so I decided to pull out my secret weapon. I leaned over close to mama-san and in a low voice so M would not know what I was saying told mama-san that I was willing to pay xxxx and that was it, otherwise she could keep her girl and let her stay in the bathroom all night crying and not making any money, at least this way she would get something out of her. Harsh right, but all too true in this situation, you guys would appreciate the look on mama-san’s face, so she discussed it with the other mama-san and it was agreed that it was a fair deal. Mama-san bought me a drink, and after that we were on our way back to central district. I explained to her that I had to be back at midnight and that after that she could do whatever she wanted to do, she told me she would go home and sleep. I met up with the guys and we hopped from bar to bar for the next 6 hours, all the while I was just sipping on a drink here and there, paying attention to M and my friends, all in all it was nice. I could see that she was keenly aware of time and it seemed to me that the closer it got to midnight the more emotional she got. It was difficult to say the least, she would cry and tell me how much she would miss me and how I was special because I was so nice to her. This was not an act, but the fact of life for me is I am leaving in the morning and there is nothing that can change that. I am still facing a few months of a 6 month deployment to finish up and I don’t expect to see HK again in that time. At around 9 I decide to pack up the guys and head back close to the fleet landing, with the number of ships in town it will be a mad house to get back by midnight, so we got back to the Wanchai side and the guys of course want to hit the go-go bars for one last drink or two before returning. I left them in each others hands to take care of each other and went off with M just to walk around and talk. She wanted to show me where she lived so told me to come to her place, OK so we are off on the 5 minute walk to her place again. This time I get to go up to the apartment, and as I suspected it was a shoebox, they all shared a room and that was about it, she showed me how she had placed the things I gave her neatly here and there in her corner of the place, and asked me to hold her, so I did, and she cried more. I couldn’t make out a lot of what she said, but the point was that I was nice to her and she would miss that. I had been out all day in the heat and she decided to give me a shower so she started to undress me, and I told her it’s fine I will be OK but she demanded that she do this for me, so OK I agree. This had to be the smallest shower I have ever been in, now mind you I lived in Japan for 2 years and I thought it was small there, this was smaller than that, we barley fit in there together, but I didn’t want to spoil it for her and let her have her way, after she decided that she wanted to have “sexy time” again, of course I would not argue but again I told her that it’s not necessary, that is not why I paid the barfine but she said it was for her not me. After the few minutes of trying to make the pieces fit again she really got in to it and it was another great experience with her. Afterwards we laid there for a while and she cried some more. It’s now close to 11 pm and I need to be on my way, I get dressed and collect my things I check my pocket and realize that I have a little more HK money than I thought. I guess not drinking much that day allowed me to not spend much, so I try to give her what I have left a few thousand HK, she does not want it. I told her that it’s not for her but for her family back in PI to use it to help them and she reluctantly accepts this gift. I know what some of you are thinking but let me say this, I often devote a part of my time in ports doing community service projects and I don’t mind help others out, especially those who don’t ask for it. So in my mind I was helping her and her family out and what amounted to a few hundred dollars US will not be missed. I mean come on I can spend more than that in a good strip club in the US in a night, with here I got so much more, so it’s what I wanted to do enough said. I had not expected her to walk with me to the fleet landing but she was not having it any other way. Once we got there I was shocked, have you ever been to a big name concert and had to wait in line for a hour to get in, well that was the scene here, so we jumped in line waiting to get to the front gate to pass through the metal detectors and x ray machines, you know to make she we are not brining weapons back to the ships of war, go figure right? She would not be allowed into the complex, but could stand there in line until I got to the entrance, we talked some more and she cried a lot more. I couldn’t help but feel for her, but keep in mind all I really did was be nice to her, I guess this is what is called the GFE or girl friend experience. When it came time to part ways I hugged her followed by a kiss and said goodbye, with her eyes full of tears she caught one of the many taxi’s dropping people off and was gone. With the thousands of drunk shipmates all trying to make it to their respective passenger boats I was not able to think much about all that had happened at that time. I did manage to get in a quick phone call to make sure she made it back home and was alright, she was so I found my passenger boat and made my way back to the ship.

The following days

This is where we get to how I found Stickman’s site, one of the beauties of being on a ship is you are able to take a step back from life and put things in perspective. The following days were filled with thoughts of her story and trying to figure out what was true and what was not, in retrospect it didn’t really matter because it was not like I could change my life for her. After reading countless submissions from fellow readers I was able to come to terms with that fact that it’s likely that it was all part of the story, but there is a small part of me that still wonders “what if”. Again let me say it does not really matter because I am not about to make any life changes to act on any of my “what if’s”. To say that I don’t care would not be correct because I do care about her, but I am sure after some more time it will fade to become concern for her well being. We are still in contact with one another and it seems that she has come to terms with the fact that I will not be back there anytime soon. I will admit that in a different time in my life I might have been one of those guys who is trying to take the girl out of the bar. I have seen many successful attempts of this and many failed attempts of this scenario.

Thoughts and Questions

I learned a lesson from all of this and after reading many submissions from readers who have had similar experiences it leaves a lot of questions in my mind. Understanding that my story is not unique in many ways I have wondered how a man can deal with this turmoil inside while maintaining a relationship with their significant others back home. I realize that most people after departing their locations of choice and returning home have to go through this process while waking up next to their wives or girlfriends everyday back home, how difficult that must be to be torn in so many directions.

I have also begun to question myself and search for an answer as to why I allow myself to continue with this type of behavior, I understand fully that I am wrong for what I had done, but as its been noted before as some sort of addiction. I can’t say that I am unhappy in my marriage, not at all, actually I have a great wife who will do anything for me, I think one major point to note is the struggle within myself. While I love my wife and kids, I enjoy our time together and have a happy home life, I am unable to let go of my life at sea. For those of you who have not experienced this in life I will tell you its like being married to two wonderful women, one on land and one at sea. I have always worked on the ocean, even before the Navy, either in the Oil field, or commercial fishing, it calls me and I am unable to go more than a few years without returning. There is something about looking out across the vastness of the ocean and realizing how small you really are, and how your problems no matter how big they seem in reality are nothing compared to the rest of the world. I have sailed every ocean in the world and traveled to 30+ countries will I ever stop, I doubt it, for me it is a life style that no other can come close to. Now that this deployment is coming to an end I can’t help but feel sad by the loss of my time at sea, on the other hand I feel happy to return home to see the family and once again assume my role there. As I reflect on the past 15 years I can clearly see that I have left little pieces of myself scattered all over the world, many in the way of relationships, I can honestly say that I have not intentionally harmed anyone, at least not knowingly. As I see it I have done the most damage to myself, but as we are a species that has adapted to survive so have I, but at what cost to my own emotional well being?

It’s a matter of perspective gentlemen put it all into perspective and you will find the answers you seek.

The future

I will be in the LOS in the coming months for business, and I believe this will be a challenge for me personally, having spent some time there I am aware of the temptation that awaits me. Perhaps I should lock myself in my room, and stick to work, somehow I doubt that will happen. What drives us to seek out new relationships, is it genetic? Is it the thrill of the hunt, the challenge of it all. I have not found that answer yet, but I can say that I am one of the lost souls who no matter how good I have it, I am willing to risk it all for the hunt.

I wish you all good luck in life, and hope that each of you find that special someone that completes you, once you do, try your best to keep it all in perspective and make it work. I can tell you the answer is not in the bar girls.

Stickman's thoughts:

Sorry, very ill at the moment hence no comments on submissions at this time.

at: thaipunter07@yahoo.com.