Stickman Readers' Submissions September 17th, 2007

Not All Bargirls Are Bad

I first met Fa in a bar in Soi Cowboy and it was love at first sight. She was so different from all the other bar girls I had met.

He Clinic Bangkok

It was my third night in Bangkok and I had done all the usual things – a few visits to gogo bars and the obligatory visit to the “naughty boy corner”, but I hadn’t actually taken a girl back to my hotel.

I had actually met Fa the night before in an outside bar on Sukhumvit Road. I was hanging around with a young guy from England desperate to get a girl but no girls seems interested in him – strange as he's a good looking guy.

The girls were more interested in me. I got chatting to one girl – Fa, but I had to leave after 10 minutes because the young guy want to go somewhere so we leave – but really I want to stay and talk with Fa but I end up drunk and go back alone to the hotel.

CBD bangkok

I forget about Fa and what we talked about because I drunk till later when I goy back to the bar in Soi Cowboy.

There she is – smiling, she remembers me and gradually it all comes back to me.

“I think you come so I come early – wait for you” she purrs.

The rest of the night we just spend talking about her, her job as a bar girl, her family, her baby.

wonderland clinic

The bar closes at 1 AM, but I want to go with her to the outside bar.

She says “Go now – pretend to say goodbye to me and I meet you in 30 minutes, coz if I leave with you then you must pay barfine.”

I never know why she did that that. At the end of the day she is the one who loses out, right?

I leave and as promised 30 minutes later she is by my side in an outside bar.

I want to know how long she has worked in the bar and how many customers she has taken – A drinking buddy of mine who is in Soi Cowboy has already confirmed these details to me – 3 months and she only ever talked to one guy – an old man called Bob. <I often wonder why guys get concerned about such details. Further, 3 months and she had only ever talked to one guy? Unless he had barfined her for the entire 3 months then this would be wrongStick>

She tells me exactly the same – okay now I think she is not bullshitting me and maybe I can trust her a little bit.

At 4 AM we leave to go back to my hotel. I’m a bit worried because it’s a 5 star hotel and I don’t know if it’s girl friendly.

We just walk in as bold as brass and there are no problems.

A night of true bliss and the next day she says she wants to go stay with me till I go home.

We spend 8 fun-filled days and nights together going around Bangkok, looking at the wats and going on river boats.

She never asked for money but of course I bought little things here and there.

It’s time to go home and she is crying. What the f***, so am I! This was never meant to happen.

I feel sorry for her so I empty my wallet – maybe 9,000 baht and give to her.

I get back to the UK and realise how much I miss LOS and Fa.

I call her every day until my phone bill arrives – £400 – I need to find way to call her, then I find a number on internet I can call – 5 pence per minute – and the romance is back on.

Every night I call her and she always answers the phone. In the 300 or so times I called her phone it was never turned off and she always answers within a couple of calls.

Then one night I call her. She tells me Bob has come back to Bangkok and is in her bar now. She is crying. “Why?”, I ask her.

“Because I chose you over Bob and Bob is heartbroken.”

We talk about us and she tells me she had stopped working the bar. She still goes to the bar but only to drink, never takes customers and only talks to Bob.

He doesn’t have power she tells me, just wants a lady for company.

I think now I can trust her a little more and the next day book a flight back to Bangkok to see her.

Over the next few months I visit her in Bangkok 6 times – Don’t ask me how I can manage this, it’s just a mixture of having a good jobs and using holidays wisely.

Now I trust her 100%. I talk to her friends and guys in the bar and they say she never goes with customers. I can believe her because why would she take me to bar if she had some thing to hide?

I know she goes to the same bar because every night I talk to the bar owner.

I know also she does not have sex because always first few days I come back she is very tight.

December 2006

I manage to pull enough holidays to get one month off. Christmas is spent on Ko Chang. New Year is spent at her folks’ place in Udon Thani.

I meet all the family. There are so many people and they treat me like a long lost son. Her uncle takes me to one side and asks if I want to marry her because her family approves of me and thinks I’m a good man. I decide I need this lady in my life more so I propose and she says yes.

I spend a few more days with her in April as I’m going to China and manage to wangle some time off.

We decide that we should go and get her a visitor’s visa to the UK and then return to Thailand to get married.

After spending 5,000 baht and a lot of time and effort she gets refused the visa on the grounds that they don’t believe that she will return to Thailand. We are gutted!

I felt so helpless! Why does my government treat me like this? I have never asked anything of them before.

July 2007

Back in LOS again but with a mission – to get married and get a visa.

On July 23 we get married in the amphur office in Bangkok which was a strange affair. It seems so simple but so serious, yet all you do is you’re your passport plus some papers and pay 40 baht!

I go back to her apartment for a party with her friends to celebrate our marriage.

One of her friends is a Thai lady who has spent most of her teenage life in England.

She is the most fascinating Thai lady I have ever met – all her friends call her “the English lady.”

Talking to her is amazing as she talks with an English accent but she is Thai inside her head.

She understands how Thai ladies think but also how farangs think.

When I go back Bangkok again I must get her to submit a posting on Stickman.

Her ideas and views of Thai / Western culture will blow your mind. She tells me what the Thai ladies are always chatting about – scary stuff.

Anyway, back to me and my wife.

We have applied for a settlement visa in UK and are just waiting now.

I want to be with her but I am worried about how she will cope in the UK. You know, the weather, food, lack of Thai contacts etc.

Please if any of your readers have similar experience – email me the issues we’re likely to see. I think you can marry a bar girl and make it work. Don’t forget about her past. Just understand it’s something she had to do. It was her work, not her life. Not all bar girls are bad.

Stickman's thoughts:

I think you’ve got a great attitude and I really hope it works out for you!

nana plaza