Readers' Submissions

My Philosophy On Bargirls

  • Written by Anonymous
  • August 30th, 2007
  • 8 min read

A lot of submissions seem to emphasise the bad side of visiting LOS. Some reading all the dire warnings and sad stories of well educated farang being mercilessly ripped off by the locals would probably give the place a wide birth. This is a shame since if you bring the common sense you were hopefully born with, you will almost certainly have a ball.

billboard bangkok

I am one of those typical 50 plus guys who has been through the usual bitter divorce and come to realise that female company of my own generation and nationality (British) has no appeal, either physically or baggage wise. Got enough baggage of my own, don’t need any one else’s. For me LOS is an opportunity for female company without strings. I have only to dig into my pocket and suspend reality. It perhaps helps that I am not looking for love, a relationship or anything like that, been there got the scars.

I am not by nature cynical about other people, for me this is a form of mental cancer that will ultimately isolate you from others, indeed my ex was a classic example of this, hence our eventual break-up. Neither am I stupid, but I do give every new acquaintance the benefit of the doubt and this includes bargirls. I always allow them some rope to see how far they will go, this helps me no end in deciding whether I have a keeper. I also get a perverse sense of amusement when they think they have conned me out of a little money, stupid farang.

I do believe that there is what I would call good girls out there, this is the type that will return your generosity with the classic girlfriend experience, just don’t get sucked into thinking this is real. It is like a holiday romance and how many of those ever worked out?

butterflies bangkok

My approach has always been to treat them with respect as they are women after all. Many times I have been conned out of a little money, but this is really trivial to me. I just move on as there are plenty more and there are good ones out there if you look. I can perhaps illustrate this best with my most recent visit.

Travelling on business I managed to organise a 6-day break in Pattaya .I arrived at about 6 PM at the hotel feeling a little stiff so showered and put myself through a Thai torture massage. I had no real intention to bar fine any one just a few drinks and a chat then off to bed on my own. Of course plans are there to be broken so with little resistance I allowed myself to be pulled into one of the smaller gogos. One thing led to another and out I popped, a bargirl on my arm. I started heading straight back to the hotel for the agreed long stay but my girl had other ideas and we ended up in the Blue Lagoon 11. Now I have to say I was pleasantly surprised to see 2 girls completely naked in a bath in the centre of the stage washing each other with liberal amounts of soapy water. My girl asked “is OK?”

“Oh, yes”, said I.

Now the owner is a Norwegian guy and when I met him he had obviously drunk a significant quantity of the alcoholic stuff. I don’t enjoy talking to drunks much when sober but after a while I got to like him a lot. He looked at my girl and suggested she might like to join the other 2 soapy girls for 500 baht. With a nod from me she was in the middle of the action as soon as she could get her stuff off and all 3 beckoned me to help applying more bubbles. What was a guy to do.


We left at 3 AM, finally heading to my hotel with my expectations now very high. After getting to the room I showered in record time only to find my girl was lying fully clothed half asleep on the bed. No amount of friendly persuasion could change this so I gave up and climbed under the sheets. At some point in the night she asked to leave so I said OK.

“Money?”, she chimed, so I gave her half the agreed amount. At first she argued but eventually left. I realised this had all been a set up from the start, but then I had had a great night so went back to sleep. Life is to short.

The next evening I wondered in and out of a couple of places on Walking Street, none of the girls giving me the signals I look for. I like girls with a sense of humour and never choose one that has not made some effort to get my interest first. I ended up in Angelwitch and ordered a beer. Two particular minxes then began mimicking my actions finding it very funny so I let myself be reeled in.

Within a short time I had one parked on each knee. Both spoke reasonable English and my Thai vocabulary is slowly growing, “A” was a petite 22 year old and “B” a tall Chinese looking 30 year old. We had a good chat “B” was a real comic but “A” had taken my interest so I decided I would bar fine her. “B” exaggerated her disappointment and suggested she should come as well, hmm; one has always been enough for me so I offered to bar fine her and take them both to eat. No surprise they agreed, I can imagine some of you think I have lost my mind but heading down walking street with a girl on each arm was well worth a few hundred Baht.

I always try to find out what they prefer to do, “A” liked Karaoke, oh dear spent too much time with drunk Japanese colleagues doing this but what the hell. “A” said she knew a Thai place so off we went into the outer reaches of Pattaya.

There was an amusing little cameo with the taxi driver he wanted 40 Baht “A” was incensed, I was being ripped off because I was a farang, a Thai would only pay 20. She argued with the driver and triumphantly returned with a 20 pointing out I should not let Thais rip me off so easily. Did this include BG, s! I wonder?

I have to admit I enjoyed myself even joining in some of the rockier Thai songs, we stayed till about 5 by which time we had both consumed copious amounts of beer. After paying the bar bill which was remarkably small, we both staggered out to jump on a taxi bike. The journey back to the hotel was surreal and probably not very sensible but we got there safely. (Incredibly I did this for the next few nights as well, who am I to talk about common sense.)

Once in the room I jumped straight in the shower a few seconds later “A” joined me, looked like this was not going to be a repeat of last night! “A” was no star fish; suffice it to say I had a ball.

In the morning we both felt a bit worse for ware “A” was particularly bad so I gave her some pills.

When it was time for her to leave I tried to recall what we had agreed, in fact I realised we never discussed it at all so I dug out 2500 and handed it over, got a big smacker on the lips and she was off.

After a lazy afternoon recovering I got ready and ventured out. I had intended to investigate different places each night, but I had so much fun the previous night that plan got ripped up and I made my way back to Angelwitch.

I was met by the mamasan holding up 2 fingers shouting 2 girls for you again, I put her straight, but she no doubt new every little detail of what had happened already.

As I turned around I was leapt on and nearly floored by “A” luckily the mamasan who is a big lady caught me. “B” appeared shortly after and the evening proceeded in a similar way to the last, though I only bar fined “A” this time.

We agreed to reduce our beer intake this time and arrived back in the room at about 6 AM relatively sober and now all I can say is I finally understand why they call it boom-boom.

In the end I bar fined her for the rest of my stay and got a full on girlfriend experience in fact I can’t remember enjoying myself more in LOS or anywhere else for that mater.

Money was never discussed apart from the bar fine; the only thing she asked for was to stay with me for the rest of my time. I asked her about this, the answer was simple she was having fun, she works 7 days a week 52 weeks a year and farangs did what they wanted to do ,she just tagged along. This particularly applied to the younger types so try it out might work for you. The cynics might say she was manipulating the situation, to be honest I don’t care if that’s the case or not.

I did of course pay my dues to her at the end in no way would I expect a free ride.

So to go back to the title of this submission, hopefully you have worked it out.

If you are still with me I am back home now, I gave “A” my phone number as she had lost her own phone. Never done that before so it will be interesting to see what happens, will my bubble be burst?

I will come back to Pattaya, in fact I am already planning it, but will I see “A”, well who knows, I can feel that damn common sense kicking in again.

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