Stickman Readers' Submissions August 20th, 2007

It‘s All In The Numbers

I prefer live music over recorded music, so I try to go to places that have a mixture of both. I am not up with all of the latest songs, so if they throw in a classic now and again, or a few I recognise – I am happy. Some of the songs that come on elicit screams of joy from the predominately younger crowd, but they are having fun – and by watching them I am having a bit of fun too, so it’s all good. Observing the crowd it is also easy to see that the younger guys get preferential treatment by the young hotties, who mostly dress like a cross between porn stars and the famous young female singers and celebrities who also dress like porn stars. I don’t try to fight the younger guys head on, but I do find ways to even the score a tad with a bit of finesse, like positioning, and some cash.

I spotted the two slim brown skinned girls the moment they walked hand in hand toward the disco entrance, smiling and looking like they were having fun. The bouncers had given the one that I picked as older a hard time with her ID, but had let the younger one in easily, which I thought was funny – and so did the girls judging by their giggles. I walked over and said that I had seen what happened and that I thought the bouncer was being a jerk, and could I buy them a drink (smooth eh!). They looked at each other, smiled and we made our way closer to the dance floor, drinks in hand, and started to dance together on the edge of the crowd.

He Clinic Bangkok

The younger of the girls (22) had a tattoo on her back, was a bit slimmer and more frisky to dance with, while the older of the two (24) was definitely cuter, friendlier in her chatting, and insistent that I got her mobile phone number. Sweet! I figured that one way or another, by the end of the evening I would have some fun – and if I was really lucky – some 3 some fun. Well the beer flowed like wine, we changed venues arm in arm, and a good time was had by all – well at least by me anyway. As time went on a few guys that the girls knew had appeared and some conversations were taking place amidst the loud noise that is a modern nightclub. I can’t eavesdrop in a noisy environment at the best of times, and regardless I was not going to do something about a chat here and there as we were having a fun time.

At closing time there was a mass exodus and I wandered out into the crowded street. I looked around and couldn’t see either of the girls, maybe they had ducked into the bathroom on the way out – heavens knows they went every half hour or so. I waited a few minutes and then tried to call the mobile number from the text the older girl had sent me – no reply. I waited another five minutes before calling again – no reply, so I got a taxi home. They had my number now and I figured if they wanted to get hold of me they could call or text. The next day I tried texting to see if they wanted to catch up – no reply. I waited until dinner time and tried to call – no answer. Well – I guess I had my signals wrong somewhere there…end of story.

I don’t go out drinking every night – but two days later my friend Dave calls me up and asks if I want to come out with him, his new young chicky, and her slightly older girlfriend for the night. I readily agreed and swung by to pick them up. Dave is 30 and we drink and ‘hunt’ together once in a while, and he does have a good eye for talent. Dave walked out with two absolute cuties – a slim fair 20 year old and a very dark skinned, leggy 23 year old. Both were wearing mini skirts in that sweet way that only young hot babes can, like it is some kind of uniform – with high heels and nice tops, so off we went to dinner and then a disco. Dancing with young hotties is an art form I have long since perfected – mainly by barely moving vaguely in time to the bass beat, while keeping a smiling eye on every bit of exposed skin the babe I am dancing with is showing. I do refrain from groping and touching – but there is no doubt about what I am looking at, in the most appreciative way.

CBD bangkok

About an hour before closing I will admit that I was starting to get tired and sit around a bit, but the girls had other ideas and stepped up the heat of the dancing with us, making it far too interesting for us to sit down. The only rest I got was at the bar, getting drinks and the occasional round of shooters. Dave’s date was almost jumping him on the dance floor, and mine was always resting against me when we did sit out a song in a booth, when they declared it was unsuitable for dancing to, and grabbing me and close dancing when we were up on the floor. Pretty soon it was closing time and off we went arm in arm to the taxi. As we drove away I mentioned that I had a big spa bath at my place that I was looking forward to using – and this sounded so inviting that we all agreed that this would be a good place for a nightcap for the evening, so we reversed directions and off we went. No sooner had we arrived than Dave’s girl announced that she was going to be sick, and mine flaked out on the couch. We had drank a bit more than the girls, and we were feeling fine (read horny) but it was now patently obvious that a 4 some in the spa bath was way out of the picture, so eventually Dave packed up the girls and dropped them off home. I doubt I will ever see my ‘date’ again. I sure as hell won‘t be pursuing her.

I guess some of you are wondering about this report, thinking I am continuing the theme from my last submission about my lack of satisfaction trying to have a GFE in Pattaya. Well, I’m in New Zealand – and both of these nights out happened in the last week here. These girls were western educated (one has nearly finished a degree in Psychology), they spoke the same language as me, and they are from the same culture, but they are just barely out of their teens. It made me compare them to the bargirls I had met, because there were so many similarities. I paid for stuff and they hung around with me, basically.

We’ve all read many submissions from guys who have trouble with the hot babes they pick up in LOS, and the similar troubles that ensue as regular as clockwork. The submissions are generally talking about girls who are less educated, less culturally compatible, and driven by very different needs than the average western girl, and we still actually wonder aloud why it all turns to custard? The Thai ladies I have been with for any period of time seem far less mature than their western sisters, indeed a lot of them are barely past the comic book / Thai soap opera phase. They have less developed emotional skills, and usually have no idea about much of anything outside their own small world, let alone long term achievable goals etc. Is it realistic to think that we can have a meaningful relationship with someone who still thinks like a teenager?

We tend to ride in on our white horses (or 747s) and decide to rescue them. I have no doubt that some of us love them, and that some of the girls love us back – but is it any more realistic than thinking that at over 40 I can have a long term relationship with any of the girls I went out with in the last week? I may be a bit of fun for them for a while with a bit of money to spend and driving nice cars etc (and they are fun for me with their lithe bodies and skimpy clothes)…but it can be no more than that – I know it and so do they, once the hangovers wear off. I’ve had younger girlfriends before, and inevitably I got bored being their teacher / advisor / financier etc. I‘ve worked out that it’s just a numbers thing – if their age (mental or physical) is less than half of mine – it will all end in tears!

wonderland clinic

In the land of smiles if we don’t look further afield than the go-go hottie up on the stage who still thinks like a teenager, maybe we will all have to face the reality – that it can be no more than just a fling for some fun. Of course there are lovely, educated professional women in Thailand – it is just that I have never met one, and I can’t imagine how I ever will. If I meet none of them, it is impossible for me to get to know one of them, so my chances are pretty much zero – the numbers don‘t lie.

I think I’ll find out which bars the 30 to 35 year olds hang out at here this month – gravity has not been unkind to them yet (have you seen women my age!) and maybe, just maybe, we can find enough common ground to have a relationship that will work. In twenty years our ages will be within 20% of each others, but they will always seem nice and young by comparison. See – it’s all in the numbers!



Interesting. But maybe bars are not the best place to find them. Also, as a tourist, your chances of meeting anyone for something serious are drastically reduced.

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