Stickman Readers' Submissions August 18th, 2007

Dragons Blood, Dames and Paradise Found

Now it's time for my experience with Thailand. I don't know where to start it's such a long story. In fact I will leave anecdotes for later or a second submission. I have gotten so much from reading about the experiences of others I thinks it's time I submit some of my own. I have read this entire site from front to back, and I have spent about 6 months total in Thailand. For the last 4 – 5 years I have had a number of relationships with Thais as friends and a number of romances and P4P. I still have so much to learn about this place so please forgive me if I am sharing my advice / experience in a preachy way. I am humbled by this place to put it mildly.

Thailand – a place you could never truly know no matter how long you stay. It's a little like going through the looking glass to Alice in Wonderland. It's almost like a drug – some people hate it the moment they get a taste, but some are addicted to it no matter how much it tortures you.

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As you land, it seems like you are falling from the sky and everything shrinks. Just due to the jet lag itself, time and space seem to be distorted as culture shock sets in. There is madness in the air – an odd craziness about the place that simply confuses your interior bearings. It takes me a month just to feel like I am walking on solid earth again! You walk into a place where all time is kept by the moon – a symbol of intuition not logic and a bit of madness. Here intuition, tradition, and peculiarity reign and not logic! No matter where you go life is ultimately pointless because in time all things are destroyed and all things are temporary. This part of the world is so raw that this factor is amplified and many things tend to be very temporary and short lived in my opinion including relationships. More on that later. If Thailand where to be assigned a gender I would definitely say it's female without a doubt.

The heat and maze like roads add to the confusion, illusion and sometimes apparent hallucination. Nothing is at it seems! No, nothing will ever make sense the same way or ever be the same in your mind, as you try and get your head around the mayhem of it all here. What was up is down and down is up – everything is almost the opposite of what you are used to.

You are a giant. The world has shrunk – Even though the land of Thailand is smaller it is 100 x more concentrated. Clothes won't be big enough, doorways too small (watch your head!) and the food portions look they are from the children's menu back home.

Try and take too big of a drink and prepare to be sickened by the intensity of it. Reality here is soft and fluid – magic seems to be alive and well. Whatever you may wish for you just might get here so be careful! There is a such thing as too much of a good thing. There is a time and place for everything here and if you can think of it, the Thais have a certain area where that thing is allowed. Wanna eat any kind of food you can imagine, sure no problem, you can. Wanna have sex with three 40 kilo 18 years old virgins at once? Sure, easy. (Probably have to go cherry pickin' in the country for that one). Like smoking ganja and taking magic mushrooms yeah they even have a place you can do that. (Don't do it any other place because it will lead to trouble. But I know a place that is totally safe that's bought and paid off the police you just can't take it out of that bar). But only in that area! You can do whatever you want within their framework of rules here. Slow down and don't try to have to0 much fun t0o fast or it will kill you and I mean it. These tiny people seem immune to the poison – all the germs, the heat, the dangerous traffic, the intense hardship, and all the twisted logic. They have the strength to stay out in Bangkok all day and I can barely take about 4 hours before having to return to my room.

As long as I am on the subject of the people – forgive me if I sound like I am making generalizations as these are just opinions based on my observations and experiences. For the most part, as long as you do not create any disturbance of their social structure or cause them to look bad in front of others, you should have no problems with them. In fact if you are like me you will love to just watch them with all their funny, odd, many times freakish and ridiculous behavior. To be antagonized by them is half the fun. I get so much personal humor from all the funny ways you can toy with them and how they pick up on this and reciprocate. Getting to know them, you can have a chance to see the best of humanity and hospitality. I mean, when these people have a good character, they put most of us in the West to shame!

I have been the recipient of their generosity and let me say that my whole life depends on one family and they have never let me down! They have been my benefactors, friends and sponsors.

However it is my personal feeling and this is not an insult – These people have a serpentine quality to them. It reminds me of the ancient Vedas which says that the Asian race descended from the divine serpents, the Nagas. I'd say they have a drop of dragon's blood in them. It makes them mysterious, intuitive, mesmerizing, dangerous, cold, magical almost and ageless. They can understand so much with just facial expression, a gesture or a nod. They can communicate on an intuitive and non-verbal level that will amaze you. When dealing with any Asians, you are dealing with a creature that is both hypnotic, beautiful and very dangerous. So proceed with caution I am warning you! These people can be awfully twisted in ways I can't even explain. It will make your stomach turn when the vicious underbelly of this society rears its head before your very eyes. Stay long enough and it will happen guaranteed.

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Due to their broken English, gorgeous looks, charming and kind smiles, smaller size, and seemingly crazy, illogical behavior, it would be easy to underestimate them. Even the innocent ones seem so helpless can turn loose a bunch of nutcase male friends and family members on you. They can turn their back on you and bite with such viciousness you won't believe. I am attracted to Asian women beyond belief but I always keep in mind that they can not only charm you but they can destroy you in one fell swoop. I am downright afraid of them just because of there ruthlessness and emotional repression that is a cultural trait. When you dishonor them or cause them to lose their temper they reach for knives so fast it will make your head spin! They can stab you, twist the knife and look you straight in the eye. Nothing could compare to Asian style revenge – or Asian style anything in my opinion.

They can deny not only themselves, but whatever is plainly obvious and even right before their very eyes – I kid you not. The truth for a Thai is often avoided at all costs in favor of either laziness, reputation, or self deception. It would be to hard for a Thai and make too much sense to face (sic) and admit. In fact the rule of thumb is, if it makes too much sense, they probably won't do it that way! Seriously though, they do have their ways that seem more drawn out and round about and end up making sense like three days later or later that month. Their sense of time is much different from a lot of us in the west. Meaning they take a lot more time to get things done and many times plan, organize and communicate poorly. Maybe it's because they are used to everything being so frustrating and confusing that they conserve their energy by being patient and not getting all frustrated when things don't go as planned which is the norm here. For my own good, I am resigning to that reality to save my mental and emotional energy as well.

Maybe it's not just a matter of fact truth – but like all things here it can be twisted, justified and what maybe true today may not be tomorrow. I know much has been said about the lack of honesty among many Thai women. I have experienced this first hand to the point where I assume everything is a lie until I verify from at least 3 different independent sources. After having been lied to so many times I cannot fathom their concept of honest truth. It is simply shocking how simple minded and unmotivated these people can be sometimes. They refuse to face who they really are but that is people in general. But you can't argue with their golden heart – you can experience an amazing level of kindness that will amaze you.

I prefer the Asian style life – it's one you could not buy for ANY price in the West and that's why for now I never want to leave. Where else can you get the moments like the ones you get here! I mean the fresh food, the scenery, the low stress, all the hilarious antics, the broken English, the exotic locations, and no cooking, cleaning or doing laundry I might add!

I just can't describe what its like! I couldn't afford to meet and date so many young, exotic, stunningly gorgeous women in the West. Too many amazing and outrageous things happen that will blow your mind. You have to come here and stay, speak the language some, and go out into the land and people. Where else can you go where your wife is trying to hook you up with younger women because she assumes at 30 she is now too old for you! I kid you not! I get propositioned by non prostitute girls all the time in ways that would just kill you. The charm of it all is a thing to behold. Especially if you can chat them up in Thai. I have almost never been refused a phone # request. I mean I can get 5 – 10 phone numbers on a good a day. We are talking young girls 18 – 26 with exotic faces, slim bodies, and looking so hot smoke is pouring off of them. It will leave any red-blooded male with a permanent smile plastered on his face. You feel like the god of love. The other problem is the disco scene. All the music and men hitting on them ruins them. They get so spoiled and stuck up like some kind of new wave Asian Paris Hilton wannabes. No matter what they say, 98% are hookers in one manner or the other. They have such a liberal attitude towards sex it helps and hurts you. More on the double edged sword later. They ALL want to meet you if you are white, speak some Thai and look clean.

The problem is that the commercialization of sex has made many of these women so jaded and heartless beyond belief. If you are the romantic type you will find these short lived encounters, mostly based on money, to be ultimately unfulfilling. At first it's great but you can easily get burned out when you find the vital component – true love is missing. I am not sure why these women seem to rarely have the capacity to truly love and open their hearts. There looks make me crazy and I fall in love way to fast. This has lead to shocking heartbreak for me on a few occasions. Indeed, as Stickman says, it's better to rent almost everything in Thailand – an apartment, a motorbike, a girlfriend etc. Even in the west we say if it floats, fxxxs or flies it is cheaper to rent than to buy! All kidding aside, to these people it seems like a long term relationship to them is either one night or for the rest of their lives. However I am truly grateful to have loved and lost than never loved at all.

I just can't seem to understand why in all the music videos and TV shows you see these women crying and acting so in love and broken up over some guy. I just have not seen this yet. Except for my long term partner, she seems to be committed for life. Unfortunately, there is little romance or fun left after five years together. I have to get that elsewhere. I wouldn't leave her for anything as she is at least stable and predictable, comes from a good family, and doesn't seem to worry about my undisclosed extra curricular activity. I am in a unique position to trust as she gets locked in the family commercial building / house promptly by her pious mother each night and no-one goes in or out. She never goes to disco or karaoke and all my investigations (tapping her phone and computer with keyloggers) have come up clean. So I know I have got a good girl lets just hope I don't blow it due to the plethora of temptations.

Other than that, these girls seem either hellbent on using their charm and looks to extract money, caring little about me, or just to have a fun non-committed relationship with no strings attached. Trying to love them is a big mistake as I have learned recently when I had to return to America for one year. This hot little babe from Isaan (Should have been a red flag but she seemed sooo nice at the time) I met there on the Internet shattered me with her mind numbing indifference in the end. After a wonderful time and so I thought emotional connection, she shrugged me off with a childish shrug. "I like so much to have my freedom" she said bold faced that last night before we said goodbye forever. We had a good run for nine months. The sex would have had most guys giving their left arm to keep her. But, once I got to the other side of her personality, she seemed to be a broken record of lies, selfishness and emotional unavailability, covered by an exterior of so called Thai charm. Ouch – looks sure can be deceiving. She had dark skin, a petite body and a lovely face. Seems she started to realize how in demand she was in the US and the stock price went up. Besides she knew I had to return to Thailand for some reasons I tried my best to explain. It was supposed to be only for a while and she accepted a diamond ring from me as a pledge to wait for me for a few months. The pain is still kind of fresh but I am mostly over it know. I just get these flashbacks still like the twinging sort of pain. I thought we may have some future and I was SEVERELY disappointed. How she could be so nice and yet so heartless I will never know. Anyway I have since tried to put as many nights of passion with hot young brown babes in between me and her as I can. As Casanova says – The best cure for a broken heart is to find another lover.

My investigations into Ms. X (monitoring her email and computer key logs) seemed to prove she was quite the run around the second I left town. Despite her insistence to the contrary on the phone – boldfaced and I had proof. Luckily she never had the goods on me and never found out about my true situation. To say I was crushed in the fiercest way possible would be an understatement. I did foolishly expect the loyalty she promised. My plan was to travel in between periodically but this was not to be. I don't know what I expected as I cannot easily take the moral high ground considering my situation. You can't blame a bargirl for going back to the bar the next day and you can't blame an internet girl for trying to hook up again online. You can't blame a guy for wanting a loyal mia noi either, can you? These women seem to have very little emotional or intellectual depth at all and it can be awfully frustrating. That's the difference between pallaya and mia – you can always count on your pallaya if you give her the 1st place she deserves. Mia nois come and go as they will never probably be the marrying type anyhow. I treat my pallaya like a queen, she treats me like a king, and the maidservants come and go. That's how I run my castle, like it or not.

I accept male only poly-amorousness in my particular belief system so no judgments here fellas – I am a gentlemen, treat the ladies very well and I make sure no one except me gets hurt – to the best of my ability. I am sorry I just got too much love in my heart for one lady. Anyway I better watch my ass here – everybody seems to know everybody so I have to be careful. In fact I have had to shut down all outside fun for a while to work on my primary relationship just to quell suspicions.

My primary stayed in Thailand with her parents and my child from a first marriage during that year. Isn't this woman a saint?! I got to hand it to her. I have since returned and taken up where we left off as a family. Ah the joy of it all. Consider me a permanent expatriate – as I also have come here to escape the neo / fascist / Nazi / "conservative" bush empire of death. Our constitution is in shreds, congress has lost its balls and bush in now defacto dictator of the US hell bent on quashing descent. This is the beginning of WWIII –

Coming in my next submission –

The double edged sword – the things that most often frustrate you and drive you insane here in Thailand can also be to your advantage if you look at them the right way.

Stickman's thoughts:

It's an interesting belief system you have.

The point about Asian women being deeply in love and then being able to turn it off and walk away with no emotions is one aspect to relationships in these parts that intrigues me.

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