Honey & Ölprinz Part III / Last Exit Kusuman
“Honey has truly changed my life. I used to be an immoral party boy, lost in a decadent lifestyle. You know you have reached this stage of delusion, when you sit (after a coke-fuelled night with several “ladies”) in your new sports
car, looking sharp in your new designer suit, a lovely caring woman sits next to you and still you are not happy. What you should really do then is seek professional help and DO NOT GO TO THAILAND….I did the latter. Please refer to my previous
two submissions (you probably won’t bother) to read up on how we met and our trip to Moscow.
I have known Honey now for 9 months and everything she told me when I first met her, turned out to be true. She is the loveliest, most caring and honest woman I have ever met. She returned home to Kusuman, her family village, worked on the house every day and now on the family rice field. Instead of watching game shows and Thai soaps and gambling her allowance away she is studying English and improved tremendously from her very few words when I first met her. I have returned several times to Thailand since, sometimes I would fly there only for a weekend (leaving Friday night, arriving back in Zurich Monday morning and go directly to work). Now, she has internet access in her new house and I see her several times every day on the webcam. The downside is that she is absolutely crazy jealous and I have to report by SMS everything I am doing in Switzerland otherwise I have 20 missed calls in my inbox. I must say that reading all the stories on this forum made me slightly paranoid and I questioned why I should be the lucky guy who meets on his first night out in Thailand such a true gem, especially considering my state of intoxication on said night. From that moment my mates are trying to convince me that my “gem” could be easily replaced, basically by each new visit to a new gogo bar. I do not share their opinion, mainly because I am totally infatuated by her. Maybe, I am truly that shallow, but I think that Honey’s qualities, her mindset and her female ways (I am not referring to putting toothpaste on my toothbrush) by far outweigh all farang women I have dated and that is not a small number.
I still have no plan and got myself into a situation with Honey where an exit is close to being impossible. A long distance relationship is more than stressful (as you might know), particularly if you are also in a relationship in Farangland, have a young daughter and a demanding job. I do not regret what I did for Honey and I had the best time of my life on my visits to Bangkok and “our” house in Kusuman (near Sakhon Nakon). Even if my best mate had warned me on my first night out of what was to come (he should have bloody done that!), I would not have been prepared for Honey. I was probably one of the biggest butterflies out there. Before I met Honey I never gave my mobile number or email away and never called any of my one night acquaintances. But with Honey I fell in love on the first night. Combine this with a Help-Syndrome and too much money and without reading the text, you know what comes next. You have seen it before and it is painful….
My long distance relationship keeps my dreams alive. For me looking forward to see her soon and spending time in Thailand is an exciting dream. I don’t think I would feel the same for Honey if I saw her every day after work at the dinner table. Romance may well be over then. Nevertheless, I seriously consider this option as I am not married. I am just keeping up my current farang relationship for the sake of my daughter. My partner turned into my best friend and flatmate. We are not lovers anymore, but I do not have the courage to let it all go. Honey does not know that she saved me. My times of diluted eyes are definitely over now. Since I know her I focused again on doing what I do best, stopped excessive partying and after three months I was offered the top legal job in our international group. As this involves even more traveling, it made it easier to see Honey more often. The sign-on bonus was several times higher than everything I spent on her house and allowances so far. Sounds cheesy I know, but sometimes it helps if you are generous and take care of people that are less fortunate. Or maybe my luck is due to all the prayers by Honey and her mother as she claims. Moneywise I spend on her the same amount I used to spend on various substances monthly, the equivalent of a monthly salary of a BKK bank director I assume. I know it is far too much but I am fine with it, as I saw that it improved the life of at least 10 family members in Isaan massively. If I’d known that it was spent on drink on gambling I would stop immediately. But I have been there and seen that her parents still getting up at 5 o’clock in the morning and starting work in the fields. They do not take it for granted.
It is certainly not for sexual reasons why I decided to take care of her. For the price of her house I could have barfined approximately 20 gogo girls for three weeks, long stay. Actually, sounds like a fun idea. But I suppose by doing that I would cause furious anger of some readers in this forum who keep whining about inflated prices and people living it large. Guys, times have changed. Wait until the naughty nightlife areas in LOS become more popular with the new Russian middle class <They have discovered Pattaya already – Stick>, then the bar girls will pity you if you offer them 1000 baht for the night.
On my first visit to the village, I flew into Bangkok via Dubai as I was supposed to be on a business trip to Qatar. In case nobody should know you are in Thailand always remember to activate your combox before departure. Otherwise you have to answer your mobile in any situation to avoid the lovely Thai voice coming on announcing that you are not available now. And most importantly don’t leave a paper trail, if you don’t want to take cash, at least make sure your mobile and credit card bill are sent to your office and not home. Upon your return, always carry a duty free bag from another destination and leave some cash (non-baht of course) on the kitchen table. Tell your wife / girlfriend that – to decrease company expenses – you are staying this time not at a 5 star hotel but in a serviced apartment, otherwise she might call reception. The last important advice is, don’t let your Thai girlfriend pack your bag, if she insists (she probably will), mess your luggage up prior to your arrival back home. Nobody will believe you that you folded up nicely your underpants and shirts. For those of you with “blackberries”, beware that your IT manager can find out easily that you are not on a city break in Florence visiting museums and art galleries. To make things worse my blackberry even has a GPS-tracking system. This might be useful when you are kidnapped in the Gaza strip, but you might not want to be tracked down to each individual soi in Bangkok. Making friends with your IT manager is key in this situation. The very sophisticated adulterer also uses relay telephone-techniques, which allow for a “clean” mobile phone bill.
In Bangkok, Honey met me at the airport and we boarded PB Air to Sakhon Nakon. I was the only farang at the gate and the plane looked rather scary, some outdated embraer jet formerly in service with Air Iberia. As I had read several posts on this site on “visiting the village” I was very nervous of what was to come even though I had met her parents before in Bangkok in February. My first impression of Isaan (in particular her village Kusuman) was that everything looked quite neat and pleasant. It looked much nicer than I expected. I had seen “my” house on photos before but when I arrived I could not believe that it was built in only two months. I could certainly tell where all my money went. Apart from some big villas on the main road where expats lived, it looked by far the best in the whole neighborhood. The final price tag on it was close to 1 million baht with all the furniture and mod-cons from fridge freezer, washing machine, 2 flat screen TVs, the must-have karaoke player, air-con and internet access. It has a great garden area with orchids she planted and a sala to relax in. It reminded me of those little 5 star bungalows you find in Phuket and Koh Samui. I am very pleased for her and her family. This house is a gift to her and I never ask for anything in return. She can walk away tomorrow. However, walking away is no longer an easy option…for both of us.
After having a quick look around the house, suddenly the whole family, including dozens of neighbors, friends and children showed up at the entrance. They were carrying strings, sticky rice, money and a big basket with all kinds of groceries and tins. Honey and I sat down and they put some sticky rice, a mango and 100 baht notes in my hand, then took a string, tied it around my wrist while saying something in Thai, this ritual was then repeated by each of them, even the children. I ended up with about 20 strings around my wrist without having any idea what this was about. Honey said it was all to do with wishing us good luck, to me it looked more like some wedding ceremony. I later found out that everyone in the family and all neighbors believed that we are actually married…
Then I was dragged by all the females (which included a granny with black teeth) to the local temple. We entered the temple and waited on our knees for some monk to show up. They handed over a basket with all the goodies to him. The monk blew some smoke at me, sprinkled water over us while Honey had to lift some heavy block (I do not intend to offend any Buddhist in this forum, I simply do not know the right term) while repeating something the monk told her. I had no idea what this was all about. The ceremony ended with the monk tying another string around my wrist and telling us that Honey and I will be very lucky together, only next year though…. I nearly collapsed in the temple as it must have been over 40 degrees.
Next on the program, after a tour through the village and the local market (I felt slightly intimidated, like a trophy shown around) and the “christening” of our new bedroom, was a car excursion to yet another temple followed by a restaurant on the river Mekong. At night we went to a disco in Sakhon Nakon. Being the only farang, I felt all eyes on me. The place was packed with absolutely gorgeous Thai ladies. If I were single I would consider this quite an interesting weekend destination if you are fed up in Bangkok. If I only slightly faced to the left or the right of Honey I was accused of flirting. Honey was absolutely paranoid and I even was escorted by her to the toilet. Lovely.
The rest of my stay we spent driving around by motorbike, liming in her sala, chatting to relatives, more chatting to neighbors and sex on the family rice field. Everybody was really nice to me and I could see Honey was very proud. I could feel though that many neighbors, even though they were very nice to me, envied Honey and her family due to their new wealth. Her family was definitely amongst the poorest in the village. Even the shack I built in my childhood on a holiday camp was far more sophisticated than their old house. Some women told her straight that she would never ever be able to pay the bills if I walked away. Many of them, especially women, are impatiently waiting for this to happen.
Back home in Farangland, I received several strange phone calls from her. She suddenly started crying when I told her I was playing with my daughter and complained about stomach aches which she claimed were caused by eating spicy food. One day at work, I got an SMS “me have baby!” Honey and I went in March to a clinic in Bangkok and were checked for STDs and I had another test in Switzerland, so from April we did not use condoms anymore. She said she was taking the pill. What she hadn’t mentioned was that she started taking it the day I arrived in Bangkok…. I called her and she said she was only joking as she bought a puppy, which was true, but continued asking me what I would do if she were pregnant and whether I would want a baby now with her. I said I should sort out first my relationship at home and would not fancy another child right now. Two weeks later she cried on the phone and told me that she had lost her baby. She told me that she only started taking the pill on the day I arrived. Honey had an abortion. I was devastated. If she told me the truth I would have never asked to abort the child. Honey did it because of our relationship; she was terrified I would leave her if she told me. She knew I had to sort out my relationship back home first and did not want to put pressure on me. She wanted to have it. If Honey had been after my money, that was her opportunity to lock-up a nice allowance. I was lost for words. A week later I flew to Bangkok to see her for the weekend and support her.
To be continued
A very interesting series indeed. This pregnancy thing has me scratching my head though. Ever the cynic, I would put a big question mark over that one…