Two Guys And A Gal
In Sep 2005, I suffered heartbreak by a man who I met through the internet in Sep 2004 who never cared for me.
He treated me like a woman who had never existed. I felt so dumped cos’ I fell in love with him so much. Many times, I called him more than 30 times per day and no answer from him. I went to my Hotmail account many times per day to check my email with hope but no answer (too).
I felt very bad and lonely. Truly, there was no idea that he was screwing with other gals. There was only worry about him. Did he have an accident? Was there anything wrong with him?
No one can understand my feelings. I was running like a rat in a pot that someone was pouring hot water in to it.
After I couldn’t contact him for more than a week I thought that I would never contact him again. I did something without considering my conscience. I still feel ashamed with that because I did it with no conscience.
I had known the fact that why he didn’t answer my calls or reply my emails even though he worked with a computer all the time. He felt so stressed and with for some reason that made him feel that he didn’t want to contact me. So it meant that he'd acknowledged all the time I called him. He read all of my emails which asking, (actually I should say ”begging”) him to contact me. He ignored all of them!
We reached the END point.
He seemed to disappear again. As it is normal for any females in the world, she would try to contact the guy. Please don’t ask me why. Because I don’t understand this fact also. This is one of many weaknesses of females. That made me crazy so much.
That was so painful. I couldn’t be alone. I had to go out everyday. Anywhere. Many times I took a bus but with no destination. I needed someone or something to stick with because I felt so insecure. I went to a temple in Nakorn Pathom every 2 days to pray to Buddha to bring him back. I went to see many fortune tellers to ask if there any chances that we could come back. I did everything to make me feel a little bit secure.
But nothing happened.
That was a shit time in my life.
I met CJ from internet also. I got his email address from a site. It was only CJ who kept writing me emails.
I felt so good writing email to him. He seemed to reach many parts of me which no one could reach them. He always asked me not to think too much negative stuff. Hahaha.
The first thing that I did everyday after I'd been at my university was going to library at my faculty and checked my email. When I got his email, I felt so good but when he didn’t write me email, I felt sorry.
I could say that he'd been in my head all the time. Once he sent his ex girlfriend's pic. After that I knew that he was a special person to me. He was going to become more than that cos’ I felt a little bit jealous of his ex girlfriend. I wanted to be her.
The first time he called me was on Sunday night, (Thai time) after I'd been to Bang Sean beach. (It is a special place for me. Bang Sean beach always makes me feel good even if I am quite sad.)
That was the first time I went onto Sammuk mountain which has a shrine for Sammuk, a woman who fell in love with a man named Bang Sean.
No-one agreed with her so she committed suicide by jumping from the mountain.
So the mountain was named for her. Many Thais believe that if you want to pray for love, you can pray to Sammuk. She will help you.
So I think you can guess why I went there. Yes. Good guess. I felt so insecure and needed someone so I prayed that if I met a guy who would love and care of me, I would take him there.
I didn’t expect that he would call me. I didn’t feel excited or anything cos’ he seemed to be a person who I 'd been knowing for long. Nothing was interesting in our first conversation. 2 questions I can remember well, “ How tall are you?” “How many kilos are you?” hahaha. Perhaps I would like to check his physical?
Once I called him and told him that I LOVED HIM. Hey I felt that really but he didn’t believe me. (oh why?).
After I'd graduated, he become a person who was always in my head. I might have more free time or whatever but he was the one who always gave me advise or the first person who I thought of when I needed help.
I was waiting for the time he would come back to Thailand.
Finally he did. He came here. One thing that he didn’t know. On the day that he was leaving UK, this gal was so excited. She looked at the clock all the time and she felt that time passed so slow. She was waiting for his arrival time. She hoped that he would call her after he'd landed but he didn't (a little bit sad though). She 'd been waiting for him all night long for his call.
No call though. Another day was my rehearsal graduate ceremony. We had to keep our mobile phone silent so if he called me how I could know that! Alright that wasn’t too difficult for me. I put my mobile phone on my lap and asked my friends who were sitting around me to look at it also. It meant that I looked at it almost all the time then. Hahaha
I got his first call at the afternoon. He 'd just finished a meal with his Thai friends. No one felt nervous. He told me where he stayed. Phongphet Hotel. he said that it was located in… I can’t remember now but that area was near Don Muang airport.
After I 'd finished my rehearsal ceremony, I changed my clothes, ( I didn’t think that wearing a university uniform was a good idea for the first time I met him! right?) to be a mini skirt, (denim) and a pink tank top which my friends who drove me to the bus stop teased me that I was going to have a date. (err almost right then!) I got a taxi on the way to go to the area where the hotel was located.
I told the taxi driver which hotel. " You are on the wrong way so we have to do U-Turn." he told me.
Ahhh I was so angry cos’ I had limited budget!! The taxi did a U-Turn in Vipavadi Rd. which was a pity cos’ it is a straight road so you have to drive a long way till you meet a U-Turn. He drove a long way (I told you!) then we got a U-Turn.
Ok I was on the way now. No, I didn’t feel nervous. No. But when I was almost reach the hotel why I felt so nervous? Whatever I was here, in front of the hotel.
It was going to be true. I had been waiting for many months to meet him. Real him.
I was in the lobby then called the number he called me with and said immediately after he picked up "Hey I'm here in the lobby." Err, no answer
"Hey can you hear me?"
"Sawasdee krup. Tiki. TT was in the room no…(I can’t remember.)" A Thai man was talking to me. What! He used his friend's phone to call me but I thought that was his phone.
"Sawasdee ka. Sorry. Thank you" I said
I was angry with myself then that I should make sure that it was him not his friend.
I told the receptionist. She asked me to call him by myself.
"Hi, I'm at the lobby. Come down stairs." I said with angry voice
I walked back to a chair and I was so excited!! so I was pretending to do something with my cell phone. 2 minutes, he walked out of the elevator. Oh I saw his shoes…. I didn't dare to look at his face. so excited..
"Yes" I looked at him. Why I felt excited? then immediately I didn't feel that. Strange?
I told him what I did a wrong call with anger so we didn't have a very sweet time when we first met.
We went to sit in a restaurant in the hotel. He had beer and we had a short talk. We walked to sit outside cos’ he needed cigarette so we had quite such a nice night, dark sky, many stars, good wind. We saw an airplane which he asked me to see that it would come back cos’ it was doing… (I can’t remember.)
The we went to NANA. That was the first time for me to have German food at Heidelberg. I had noodle with tomato which had chopped pork inside. Delicious. (Every time we went there, I also wanted it again but I couldn't remember the name, (See my big problem) and it was a special food on that day.) Then we went to DC-10 bar. Aha, the first time I that I went to a bar that had many gals in bikini on the stage with poles! Truly, I was a little bit shocked. My first time. 15 minutes later I thought that “ My figure is better than them.”
We left DC-10 bar and went to a pool shop at the corner in front of Sukhumvit Soi 22. Nothing much. I was sitting, waiting, calling my friend, playing game in my cell phone, looking around the shop. He still hadn’t finished his game yet.
Nah, It was quite boring for me. “I would like to have another game.” He said.
“Oh ok.” I said. Actually I would like to say NO. I was bored. Did you notice? (no for sure)
I couldn’t say that but I could feel that, couldn’t I? He finished another game at about 10.30 hrs. It was quite late for a lovely gal like me. It was a time to say goodbye. I would like to go home but he would like to continue his discover Sukhumvit Rd. The taxi was stopped (because it was a red light). He gave me 200 baht for taxi. I tried to refuse but he still try to give it to me. Ok I shouldn’t refuse and took the money.
That happened almost a year ago but it is still in my heart, clearly.
Every time I go near or pass these places, they always remind me of my (upset, funny, boring, happy), first date with Thai Ties.
I just don't know what to make of this.