Stickman Readers' Submissions June 22nd, 2007

Honesty Is Not Unheard Of

I have been reading many of the submissions around lately and I am compelled to recount the experience I had in Bangkok with an old friend of mine around March 07.

He Clinic Bangkok

We got to the country with the singular goal to party like wild men. Our flight got in at 6pm on Saturday night and we hit the hotel and got cleaned up for a night out! Well it did not take long until I realized I got duped into a taxi scam
and we were being taken not to Nana (as we requested) but to a place where there were "clean girls" "no ladyboys" so I was like whatever let's do it and if it sucks we can always just bag it. So he takes us to something
I had never seen before, but is written about quite often in these submissions. The room has about 10 couches and is ringed in a semi-circle by women sitting in tiered seating with numbers on them. Then he gives us some beer and says "choose
choose." Seeing as we were mainly out to just drink and party we kind of gave each other halfway looks back and forth then told the guy, "we want to go to a real bar not this type of place." So he took us to a "real bar"
which was actually just the exact same thing except in a bar room setting (whatever).

So we are sitting on this couch and there is a line of girls there. Most of them are doing the smiling thing and we are trying to find out what the heck we got ourselves into. My bud told me "Just pick one for me man, they all look hot."
So I picked the one who was smiling the most and then the cab driver basically threw a second one at me. They went off alone and I was alone with my bar girl and the fun just stopped. I mean I went from joking with a friend of 10 years to sitting
next to someone who speaks broken English at best, but sure knows "lady drink" and "bar fine" pretty well. So we went back to the hotel and the girl who I picked for my friend took one look at the mini bar prices and grabbed
my friend for a beer run. During the beer run me and my lass ran out of interesting things to say in about 10 seconds so we did it real quick and finished up as my friend was coming back with the beer.

I was beginning to get tired of my newfound lass when she suggested "I go back bar now" GREAT IDEA! The funny part was we had gotten a pretty kick ass suite and there were all these bowls with fresh fruit around. She asked if she
could have a banana for the road and I said (in normal American fashion) "go ahead help yourself" well she did! She freakin dumped the whole bowl out into her bag and practically ran out of the room!

CBD bangkok

So here we were now I am the fifth wheel, but my friend's bar girl suggested we all get really drunk then go to a club she knows about. Well that sounds good to me so we do! Well her big thing was my friend and I are stupid because we
spend too much money on everything. She is going to help us spend less money because people are talking trash about us being stupid in Thai all the time. Well I tell you that to tell you this. My friend tipped the cabby too much baht and she freaked
out! She straight up had a meltdown right there and we spent like 30 minutes trying to calm her down.

Well whatever she got normal again and we went into the club and danced until sunrise. I grabbed two freelancers and was thoroughly disappointed in them as well so I booted them out as the sun was coming up. I was still the fifth wheel!!!

So I relied on our new best friend in Thailand for assistance and she told me she would call in a friend for support. We went out and did the tourist thing then the friend showed up about 6pm for dinner at some swanky restaurant. We went
out and partied, and I did my normal thing of thinking I actually had to woo this girl. Here is the first bout of honesty… the girls told us they had to go to the bar (both of them) for a certain amount of time and would meet up with us later.
So we headed back to our room and waited. Mostly we got really drunk and passed out. The next morning we woke up to a note under the door which basically read, "Call me when you wake up, we waiting in lobby for you." I guess they came
by around 4am and we were knocked out not answering our door.

I called the first girl and she was pissed! "I know you go home with other lady you are a liar!" Her friend was more understanding though and we met up with them again for another night on the town. This night they made sure to
come back to the hotel with us so there would be no fooling around. I got so drunk I barfed all over the bathroom but my girl was there like a trooper helping me out and cleaning me up to steer me to bed afterwards (I spared her from barf breath
drunk sex and just crashed).

wonderland clinic

The rest of the vacation the 4 of us hung out every day and night and partied all the time. It was great! Then came the last night.

The girl I had been talking to wanted to stay up our last night together and talk. My friend passed out down in the lobby and the first girl spent the night barfing (so I thought). In reality she was not barfing she was coughing up a TAPE
WORM! I will never forget her coming out of the bathroom "What is this?!" The next morning she proudly displayed the worm to my friend.

Now before I go into the aftermath let me just make something clear. I did a very stupid thing. I offered to send the girl I met money and at the time fully intended to send it.

Well my friend and his girl were doomed after she told him she couldn't read English she had a great time and look her up if he ever comes back. Mine was a little smarter and had an email I could write to. She began asking me when the
money was going to start coming. The only thing that saved me was laziness as I continually got too lazy to set up a money transfer. I eventually happened upon this site and promptly told her, "I cannot send you money because if I do I will
never know if you care for me or for my money." She was upset because she said I promised it to her and she was counting on it. I felt like kind of an ass, but I apologized again and again. About a month went by and she sent me an email basically
saying she was really horny all the time and this whole sitting around waiting for me to come back thing was not working. She told me it was time to be just friends and maybe in the future if I moved to Thailand we could be more.

I guess my experience is glossed over because I was never lied to or found out I was being lied to. I guess my advice for people who meet girls in Thailand is to always remember unless you move there it is a long distance relationship and
it has almost no chance of surviving. There are a lot of good people in Thailand and I think a person could get a bad impression of the people there if they read these submissions. Remember people who have been scorned are more likely to sit down
and write a novel then someone who had a great time. Just be smart and always go with a WING MAN!

Stickman's thoughts:

I had a choice today….read the submissions and make comments or race out the door to meet friends. Meeting friends won so no comments today. I hope you understand.

nana plaza