Readers' Submissions

Help Me PLEASE! – My Decision



China Hotel Guide
• Villas Hotel Shanghai
• Westin Hotel Shanghai
• Yin Fa Hotel
• Zhongfu Youth Garden Hotel

Hi everyone, Ill let you know what I'm going to do, Stick. First of all I'd like to say thanks for the so many replies I've received back from my submission. A few pricks sent me bad emails but hey, I don't give a toss. I must have received around 30 mails back wishing me good luck and telling me to do what my heart says. Thanks goes to BKK farang too for his great advise.

Let me just say I sent this story into Stick around a week ago and I did not intend it to be put on the site, right Stick? You was on your hols at the time. I wanted Stick to give me personal advise on my story, but he asked me if it was ok to put it to the viewers so I said ok.

Mr. Lector, I've seen it on Schoochers and tried to add my reactions but the site won't allow me to add comments. I've signed up but still it says I don't have permission, so now you know.

Let me start with money situation. Yes my job is shite, I agree, but what can I do? I look every week in the job section, go to the job centre to look, you name it but there's nothing. These immigrants coming over here are taking all the work for a low pay and you can't blame the managers for this. Yes it is my fault I have shite work, bad pay etc. I left school early, messed about and should have gone to college but that's the past.

Do I regret not finishing school and going to college to get a trade? Yes I do.

As for Fon. I've talked to her about the problems I've had in the last two weeks or so and I told her that I was no longer able to send her the 12k or so a month. I told her around 7k I could manage each month and she was not angry at all. She was angry that I had kept this problem to myself for these two weeks without talking to her.

She says that if I have a problem in the future we have to talk and understand each other, I'm always here to help she says. She told me that money was not important and if it was not for her family she would not need much off me at all.

When we first started out around 5 months ago I told her that I was not the richest person in the world, and she said money cannot find you happiness, only love can.

She knows I'm skint now but I manage, and she is still here now. I know she hasn't left her home during these months as we speak up to 5 times a day.

I use Thai phone cards and it comes off my free mobile minutes. I know she was a prostitute, slut, whore whatever you want to call her but everyone has a past.

I've been a bad lad too. I have a past as everyone does, but I can accept this.

When we first got together all the past stopped, it is what happens after I think about now. A few of the pricks who have sent negative emails to me seem to think I just walked into the bar, took her out and supported her. No I did not.

I thought long and hard about things and decided maybe something could happen between us.

Do I love her? I do now.

I've seen her home, how they live and I'm starting to learn her person a little more.

Does she love me? Yes I believe she does.

Yes, it may not work but it may work too.

I have nothing to lose. She can't take my money because I have jack shit. I have put £4000 from my money in a ISA. She knows 7k is what she will get each month and that's it.

I can visit her three times a year and we're going to try for a visa next year for maybe 3 months.

Yes my heart may get broken but if I don't go for what I think might make me happy then I will never know.

As for my mates, I'll talk to them tomorrow and explain what I've been doing and what plans I have. If they can't accept and be happy for me then they're not real mates. All my life I've thought of other people first without thinking of myself first.

If I left her I wouldn't be more happy. I'd be gutted. Yes I'd get over her but I'd always be thinking what if I did give it a go? We could still be together now and be a happy family.

Yes it will be hard, but life is hard and full of risks and if you don't go for things in life you will never know.

I'm back in 5 weeks then again at Xmas for a month, then we shall try for visa early next year around March / April when I'm back again. If all goes to plan maybe I'll be over there permanently in Bangkok soon, hopefully.

Again thanks to all the people who sent me great mails, you know who you are, and thanks Stick for the great advice too.

Lookpapa and Mr. Doughnut and the other few, I'll show you all, and up date you in years and years to come.

All mails are welcome including the negative ones. I'm off out now, yes going out on my wage, ha ha ha.

Stickman's thoughts:

Best wishes. I hope things go well. And yes, we do want to know how it goes!