Readers' Submissions

Roll The Dice

  • Written by Jason
  • April 27th, 2007
  • 7 min read


China Hotel Guide
• Yue Wei Zhuang Hotel
• Zhongan Hotel
• Avic Hotel
• Bamboo Garden Hotel


This is an appeal to any straight British males still resident in UK. Being legally free to marry/remarry would be a decided advantage. My intent is to point you in the right direction; make you realise that there’s a big world out there with a whole range of possibilities. And that as an English gentleman (generic), you have opportunities coming out of your ears. So as a first step, re-warm any and all contacts however tenuous, with relatives or family friends that are resident abroad. They will be glad to hear of your pending emigration plans as it will validate their original decision to fly the coop.

Whether British women represent an unappealing prospect to British men, and if so what role Feminism, and Feminism inspired legislation plays, is a mute point. Essentially a footnote of a sub-text of a sub-point. But that said, Feminism has made British women not just over-rate themselves, but also see themselves as victims. The result is that have become fractious and quarrelsome, particularly over the issue, “Asian bimbos stealing our men”. They feel marginalised, but what they fail to realise is that Brit boys are no longer “their men”. They had their chance and they blew it. How many times have you made a polite, sensitive approach, only to be snubbed and humiliated? She’s suddenly gone deaf and you are invisible. Well trust me, an Asian lady will not be “washing her hair” on the date you suggest a private conversation.

However, I strongly recommend you don’t discuss this pending lifestyle change with anyone other than like-minded close male friends, and even then those that are discrete. You may even want to invent a cover story to explain your lack of interest in the female population coupled with frequent trips to Asia. British society is more than a little negative to the notion of whoring as an alternative lifestyle, preferring girlfriend screwing. Although it can be a little hard to know where one stops and the other begins.

The overview is you stop dating women in UK and use the saving to finance frequent visits to Asia, initially using Bangkok as your hub. Your immediate needs in establishing yourself abroad are income (paid employment), permission to work in your target country (a straight visa), and in the fullness of time, a foreign-born spouse; the outward manifestation of, “love her, love her country”.

First you have to decide if the sacrifice is worth the potential gain. But as Britain becomes increasingly draconian, for the risk-takers the decision will be made for you. As of April 2007, you have surely realised that Britain sucks, and more importantly, it’s rapidly heading for third-world totalitarian status. If you remain unconvinced of this, then I seriously doubt you are ex-pat material. But if you are, emigration needs to be made a priority. So on these assumptions, I suggest the following: You eliminate all social interaction with British women, short of taking your dear mama out on her birthday. Bit drastic to dump all the chicks you’re seeing, but it’s big picture time. So practice your, “It would never have worked between us” lines. Once you stop trying to ingratiate yourself with women, the savings come thick and fast. At first it’s only restaurants and weekend trips, but once you get into the programme, and start to realise how many purchase decisions were influenced by the desire to impress women, you’ll wonder why you didn’t do it earlier. My estimate is that initially you will save at least £100 a week, and once you get into this programme, a lot more. Restaurants in UK charge like a wounded rhino.

So what’s the game plan? What’s the carrot, the long-term reward for this switch to a borderline hermit lifestyle? Well, initially your £5,000 a year fund accumulation will surely finance two annual trips to say Bangkok. Travel light; pick up some company when you arrive. Get your hair cut, your fingernails manicured, and hey, why not a massage? Obviously you’ll be lusting for some full-frontal female companionship, and who’s to blame you? Face it, six nights, six girls (unless you are into threesomes). If success with women is measured in number of partners, then you have to be ahead of the game compared with dating Brit chicks in UK. Don’t tell me you’re banging a dozen a year in Britain. Obviously you’ll have free time during the day (afternoon), so avail yourself of some of the shopping deals Bangkok offers.

Specifically, made-to-measure suits, shoes, possibly shirts and ties, dental work, glasses even if only sunglasses, CD/DVD movies, computer software, leather goods… Another prudent move would be to check out travel agents in Bangkok, so if you plan on side trips, hit the embassies for visas on Day 1. Because by the second trip you would want to be buying a BKK/LON/BKK return (assuming there’s a saving), even if it does mean giving up the return half of the ticket from London. Bangkok (together with KL) is the hub for the region, and budget airlines like Air Asia and Bangkok Airways offer flights at prices it is hard to refuse. Be sure to check the English language newspapers and free publications. And don’t forget to check out organisations like the Press Club.

And while you are availing yourself of those shopping bargains in Bangkok, it is equally important to put yourself about; make contacts. Ex-pats in Bangkok for a bit of R&R, just love to talk about themselves given half a chance. Also, they are interested in the situation back in UK, so lay it on thick about how bad it has become in Blair’s Britain. They are usually travelling alone and would welcome someone to hang out with. So from girlie bars to tailor’s shops to the dentist’s waiting room, don’t pass up your opportunities to make contact with as many ex-pat visitors (aka sex tourists) as possible. You will experience a “hail fellow, well met” attitude no longer found in UK. These guys are frequently on a visa run from somewhere; China, Japan, Korea, Laos, Vietnam, wherever.

Now you may think that this has little to do with Thailand. True to a degree, but even when you get established in your target country and seeking your fortune in the Colonies, Thailand is likely to be your R&R destination.

As has been made abundantly clear by so many contributors to this site, there are many “Miss not quite right” in Thailand, particularly when you are looking for love in all the wrong places. The cues you want to pick up on are firstly income; paid employment initially. The favourite, albeit more difficult route, would be to get recruited as an ex-pat from the UK. You get all the fringe benefits and status, but obviously when the company says “jump”, you ask how high, unless you are prepared to jump ship. If all else fails, check the web for “English teacher, Shanghai”. Only when you have determined your target country, and checked out visa regulations, do you move to foreign-born spouse acquisition. Of course from her perspective a Caucasian husband will be quite a feather in her cap. Face it; English gentleman (generic) is flavour of the month in most of Asia. Slight problem is that to capitalise on the situation, you will be pressured into marriage before you are quite ready, as there is no alternative to spouse on the visa application. Naturally you’ll want to steer clear of Islam, especially if breakfast for you includes ham and eggs and a G&T, but that said Malaysia could be worth a second look.

Obviously you aren’t going to resolve all the issues on Day 1, so you have to roll the dice. Many will try to talk you out of flying the coop, but the advice of sorry-assed losers is worth nothing. Remember, the longest journey begins with a single step; and a lot of complaining.

Stickman's thoughts:

I am glad you mentioned that not every women in Asia is Miss Right, just as every women in the UK is not Miss Wrong. While your advice is heartfelt, I would warn against dismissing Western women in favour of Asian women when it comes to long term relationships. Many, many relationships fail between Western men and Asian women. While I have not seen numbers, I reckon the 50% divorce rate we hear of in the US would be blitzed. Still, it is a lot more complicated than that.

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