Readers' Submissions

Mia Gip Conundrum



China Hotel Guide
• Tianfu Sunshine Hotel
• Tibet Hotel Chengdu
• Traffic Hotel Chengdu
• Xin Hua International Hotel Chengdu

I wrote a submission a couple months ago entitled “The Mia Noi Conundrum”. If you read that you'll perhaps remember what a sad, dumb sod I can be sometimes. I naively became infatuated with a traditional massage girl on my first trip to Thailand. I just knew she was different and all that pitiful crap you've heard so many times. I suppose I'm not the first nor last to find myself in that situation but I will attempt to keep it a personal last time.

I'm not giving up hookers of course, in fact I'm as determined as ever to have wonderful loving relations with women that love only me… for money. I would also like to thank every one of you that wrote to me. In fact I have kept some of your letters as they may be appropriate again in the future. Most of you told me in a very polite tone what a dumb sod I was and I appreciated the feedback. A couple of you even insinuated that you might even be bonking my beloved as you know many mia nois that have real needs from time to time and you’re always available when the benefactor is away. I chuckled at this but realize there's probably longer odds that happen once in awhile.

I came to Thailand again last January and yes I saw the woman in question and even took her on a holiday to Koh Samet. Hell, I even had "loving relations" with her a few times and other than her stewing about whether her German boyfriend was going to find out, the island was wonderful. I would definitely recommend the island for anyone with that special paid for someone in their life. I'll try not to bore you too much with my stupid sod story but let’s just say the illusion of love was gone. Enough about me, I would like to know about your experiences with longer term, on the side relationships.

I'm writing this today because I don't enjoy the sex as much without the illusion of feelings. This leads to inevitable anguish at times but alas, it’s the case with me. I still want to know if it’s possible to have a mia gip? (I’m told this is the more correct term now: Mia noi is too public whereas mia gip means secret wife) <You’ve got me confused on this one – Stick> I realize there can be extreme danger in getting involved in that way with someone, after all, it's hard to walk away if you’re in love etc. But as Union Hill so eloquently put it on schoochers "Love your wife, not a fxxxing massage girl." Truer words were perhaps never spoken.

Maybe what I really want is my own personal hooker? I could certainly swing that if the right one came around.

I have to think by all the mail I received last time that I'm on to something, after all I'm a pretty average guy. I think lots of guys would prefer to meet their girl at Robinsons or MBK or wherever and not be so open about the whole hooker thing. (I'm not saying the women that work there are hookers.) We know that the women we meet, especially if you live in the cold west, and only come to Thailand 3 – 4 times per year have got other guys around, or at least most of us know, but we'll look the other way if we’re not supporting them financially. Obviously having a longer term thing and wanting exclusivity would be only after I relocate.

I suppose having a walk away identity would make sense if you could pull it off. I've heard all about Thai girls and their tantrums and potential treachery. So just maybe it would be smart to do what the Thais do and have your own nickname etc and if things aren’t as they are supposed to be, walk away. Of course the walking away part in my mind should be talked about from the beginning and mutually agreed upon as an option for either party. I don’t get off on playing games with people’s lives and I would not enter one of these relationships cavalierly.

I also realize that this will not be for everyone as it is probably expensive, especially the breaking up part when it comes to that. I'm sure breaking up with someone you’re that involved with is, at the very least, going to cost money. I think it only fair if you get a woman to commit to you for a longer term than just a brief liaison and then if you decide to leave her for anything other than gross misconduct on her part you should offer something to get her back on her feet.

Perhaps one of the biggest problems would be the chatty townsfolk. Maybe an out of town lover would make sense, after all Thais are a pretty close knit group it would seem, and the social network probably reaches pretty far. I guess if you live in Bangkok an across town lover would offer some element of safety or perhaps of a different class than your wife.

I am hoping to hear from some of you on whether anyone out there has experienced good and not so good experiences. I would bet there's some clever guys out there reading this right now that have the answers. I am hoping some of you out there have stories of either success or failure and perhaps lessons learned. Is there anybody out there with a story good or bad that they are willing to share? Is there anyone out there willing to offer advice on little subtle things to do to stay out of trouble. I am willing to concede that I don't know the culture anywhere near as well as a lot of you. I also realize that what I'm after may stem completely from being so naive to Thai people in general that I'm sounding ridiculous, after all the more I know, the more it seems I don't know anything about Thais. I am standing by my computer and would like to thank anyone in advance willing to comment, educate or chastise.

Regards, And give my best to the wife,

Patsy

Stickman's thoughts:

Each person has needs in a relationship and if those needs are not being met, the relationship becomes troubled and eventually ends. So you need to communicate with your partner, establish what her needs are and assuming you are willing and able to meet hem, then hopefully all will be well.