Readers' Submissions

Incountry #21

China Hotel Guide
• Holiday Inn Beijing-Downtown Hotel
• Long Xuan Hotel
• Xindadu Hotel Beijing
• Xinjiang Hotel Beijing

You might be asking yourself why a rational man was walking into a gogo where one of the main dancers had tried to kill me and it had taken me at least two weeks of planning to fly the coop without getting hurt. The above would be a rational question any place else except Thailand.

In Thailand many times rationality and reality itself is suspended in Pattaya time. Newton’s laws do not apply here. For every action there is not equal and opposite reaction. Sometimes for every action there is no reaction and sometimes for no action there is an awesome and opposite reaction. For those who don’t know, Pattaya is not on the planet earth. Pattaya is on planet Pattaya or some strange vision of Kurt Vonnegut.

billboard bangkok

Every day for six months I had watched the girls get ready for work. I watched them go into the shower in a towel. I watched them put on bras and knickers under a towel. I watched them sleep fully clothed or in teddy bear pyjamas. Never a glance of pink. Never a nipple askew popped out of a towel. Every time they sat down in a micro mini skirt a hand or purse would automatically go to the crotch so never a glimpse of panty. Now in all probability I would see the three of them dancing topless and bottomless on the same stage. It was too much temptation for me not to not take just one look.

There was a hush as we walked in. The ladies on stage stopped dancing. They all knew what had transpired between myself and Princess. They knew about the violence and my poor broken toe and the incident with the cleaver. On everyone’s mind was the question, had I brought this crew to tear up the place and the owners hand went to the phone to call the police realizing his bouncers were not up to throwing out Trevor (a giant of a man) let alone the rest of us.

One legged Dave saved the night by shouting at the top of his lungs, “Come on girls show us some pussy” and throwing a handful of 100 baht notes on the stage.

The tension was broken and off came the little skirts. They were bottomless anyway but the tiny see through skirts offered some modesty. There they were, Princess, her daughter, and her best friend all dancing bottomless on the stage all in a row.

butterflies bangkok

I began to think there was a God and a heaven.

Her daughter was dancing sideways towards us in modesty and her best friend kept her legs closed doing the Bangkok shuffle but Princess put on a show. Gyrating all around the stage making sure everyone had a good look. She tore off her skirt revealing a new shave job and her breasts heaved with rhythm and emotion. I am reminded about an old musical I saw about that famous American Stripper Gypsy Rose Lee. There was a song in the movie about every stripper needing a gimmick. Princess’s gimmick is wrapping her skirt abound a customers neck and pulling his head into her naked crotch. She has other games in her bag of tricks that allow a middle aged woman to haul in 5000 baht a night on stage most of which are better seen and felt than written about.

My fellows began to realize why I had spent two years with this woman. There are women who are whores who shouldn’t be whores. There are women who are not whores who should be. Princess is the consummate whore. She is a lady who should be a whore who is a whore. Ten of her ten years younger in a bar would produce the most profitable bar in Thailand. There is of course one big problem. Thai bar girls are as trainable as house cats. Princess also has another problem called drinking till comatose every night. If she could quit in that hour sweet spot when she is at her best she would be a virtuoso. If some bar owner could figure out how to keep her just a little drunk all night she would be the best momma san in Pattaya.

The ladies joined us after getting off of the stage and we collectively bought them a couple of drinks as Princess tried to reassure them that she would keep her mouth shut and not tell any of their wives if they wanted to take a lady home with them.


Watching the proceedings I started to feel a little torn between typical feelings of jealously and my rational self. I have never been a jealous person and have participated in multiple sex partner parties with all of my wives and most of my girlfriends in the States. However, there was something about watching your significant other and her daughter sell their bodies that was troubling.

I had of course made up my mind not to give her any more money because that was a bottomless pit but I still felt somehow responsible.

I have seen the gogos and beer bars and BJ bars where all of the ladies are sad, angry or depressed. This condition is a function of mismanagement. The bar where Princess works is well managed. Most of the girls go to work happy, looking forward to the party that night. The boss freely passes out free drinks to the employees. The dancers are happy. The service personnel are happy even the bouncers are happy. Drunk may be a better word but, hey, this is Pattaya.

If anyone would like to see them dancing that night there was a photographer and videographer taking photos and videos that night, so Princess tells me, but I have not been able to access them from Thailand. Email me for the website address, maybe you can find it but I am striking out here in doing so.

From a man's point of view the ladies fawn on them and make them feel young or handsome even if only for a short time. From a dancers point of view the men make them seem worthwhile and esteemed even if it is just till the money runs out.

The men who use prostitutes in Thailand are seeking something and the women who work here are seeking something. Their desires feed each other.

Before I really started feeling maudlin we left my ex roomies and headed for Soi Six. I was sad and horny and half drunk.

Stiickman's thoughts:

Soi 6 when drunk….I can only imagine what may have happened. There are no limits!