Stickman Readers' Submissions April 19th, 2007

Bangkok, Day Break: 2020 A.D.

China Hotel Guide
• Yilan Hotel Beijing
• Zheng Xie Hotel
• Zhengyuan Business Travel Hotel
• Zi Long Hotel

The year is 2020. Things are not the same in Bangkok or anyplace else on the planet. In the aftermath of World War III in the fall of 2007, a New World Order came to power and established a One-World-Government. The cyber cops and thought
police are everywhere. Every thought, feeling, and communication of any kind is monitored by the Purity Patrols for appropriate content. Free Speech, Free Thought, Freedom of Expression and Free Will are all illegal.

In the year 2020, the N.W.O. restricts most Thai people from entering service and entertainment jobs. In years past, not all Thai people were farmers or factory workers. It was never as simple as only agriculture or industry as choices for
an avocation. Thai people were once proud and independent, and many Thais formerly made a living on their own as shop keepers, vendors, entertainers and service people. Now, their pride, self-reliance, and independence have been replaced by regimentation.
In the year 2020, virtually all Thais work in either Chinese sweatshops or on Singaporean factory assembly lines, or on Japanese farming co-ops.

mens clinic bangkok

Bangkok and Pattaya, once the Sodom and Gomorrah of Asia, are now connected by a 1,000 kilometer per hour elevated mag-lev light rail system designed by the Japanese, fabricated by the Koreans, funded by the Singaporeans and installed by
the Malaysians. Electronics assembly workers, not Sodomites, make the daily high speed trek to work. Here in Bangkok, the once popular whoring venues such as Patpong, Soi Cowboy and Nana Plaza are all gone. There is a whoremonger museum in Pattaya,
but that small tribute to the culture of sex workers and sex tourists is all that remains of what was once the Land of Small Vertical Smiles.

Life on the street in Bangkok has been reduced to a pathetic synthetic pabulum of its former glory. New Sukhumvit Road is a sanitized reincarnation of the once-famous whore stroll. So-called “Robo-Whores” are the only thing
available to the common man. Real flesh is available only to the Vice Cops, The Rich, The Politicians, and Baptist Ministers.

But, as in all things, a few rebels, a few die-hards persist. Dave and Paul are among the few that still patrol the streets, looking for the glory of long-lost pussy.

Tonight, they are using some of their syntho-gasoline ration coupons to patrol New Sukhumvit Road in a tattered old white van.

The Stickman Enterprises Camera zooms in; Let’s listen in shall we?

Paul: Damn, Dave, I was wondering if this old piece of shit was gonna crank-up.

Dave: Aw, can it, gramps, its closet neo-conservatives like you that ruined everything for the whole planet. Ever since Bush the Second Nuked Iran, it’s been a bitch trying to get the old mongermobile running on this Synthahol blended
shit. I sure do miss real gasoline.

wonderland clinic

Paul: Yeah, well, that strategy sure paid off for Dubya. Nuke some ragheads, take over the oilfields, get the Constitution Amended, get re-elected for life, and then put America in charge of the New World Government. Not a bad deal for the
Bush family…

Dave: I still miss my octane.

Paul: Yeah, well mostly, I miss real cunny, ya know? I mean, even at my age, I still got to have it. Man, this new syntho-testosterone and the super-Viagra has got me wired, I am ready for real cunt, you know what I mean?

Dave: Hey, what is that up there, crossing over at Thaksin Blvd?

Paul: Man, I’m not too sure. From here, even with my new bionic squints, I’m not too sure if it’s a skin-job or the real thing.

Dave: Damn, how many implants and artificial parts have you got?

Paul: Well, my liver goes next. Last week, I cut a deal with the Jack Daniels Distillery. They’re going to put my old liver on display at Ripley’s Believe-It-Or-Not in exchange for one of those new super blood filter implants.

Dave: OK, we are about on her now, what do you think?

Paul: Aw shit, I know her. That’s ‘Pim’. An old second generation Robo-Whore. I would about as soon screw a snow blower as bang her.

Dave: That reminds me… remember that first generation Sybian brand Robo-Whore you acquired through the Russian black market in Pattaya? You tried to screw it in the ass but you didn't calibrate the sphincter clutches first. I told
you to read the damn manual but you wouldn't listen.

Paul: Jesus, that was quite a scare. I would've never gotten ol' John Henry loose if you hadn't brought me a quart of Castrol and a crowbar.

Dave: Yeah, but not before I snapped a pic and posted it on the Robo Sex Guide webpage.

Paul: I still can't believe you did that, you bastard.

Dave: Payback is a mother. I still owed you from when you set me up with Ying and Yang, those two Robo-LadyBoys.

Paul: Hey, what's that 200 meters to the left?

Dave: Shit, I can't see nothing. Goddamn glaucoma. Roll a doobie, will ya? And roll down that damn window… (sniff, sniff) Mary Mother of Christ! I would know that smell anywhere! ~Real Poon!~ And I think she’s ovulating.

Paul: (sniff, sniff) You're right! Thank God we've still got our real noses and our spider-sense. You spark the doobie while I bareback her.

Dave: Shit no! I ain't hittin' your sloppy seconds, Pops. I want her first.

While Paul and Dave sit there arguing, Dana rolls up in his sputtering, backfiring antique van and scoops up the cutie from right under their noses.

Dave: Son of a bitch! He cock-blocked us, what ingratitude, and to think that I hooked him up with some good cunny back in the fall of 2007, just before George the Second outlawed free speech and shut down the internet. Those were the good
ol' days! All the girls we wanted! Gas-guzzlin' SUV's and cum-guzzlin' sluts for everyone!

Paul: You said it. Well, looks like another night of eatin' cold, coppery Robo-Whores.

Dave: It's a hardball world, old-timer.

Dave and Paul go home dejected, thinking that if only sufficient Americans had voted for Al Gore, self-proclaimed inventor of the internet, back in the 2000 election, World War III could have been avoided, the World Government would not have
been established, and real cunny (and real gasoline) would still be available to the common man in Bangkok.

They say hindsight is 20/20.

Respectfully submitted,

Lee, Won-jae (A.K.A. “The Crazy Chinaman”)

Stickman's thoughts:

I'm really not too sure what to make of that, but once again, I see that Dana stole the show!

The author can be contacted at:
nana plaza