Readers' Submissions

What They Do For Survival





It's hard for us westerner's to comprehend… We wonder why they lie ; why they operate under the direction of their family. Perhaps we have different perspectives? If you are 60 and suffered the so-called "liberation of women" and multiple failed relationships, how can you judge a barely literate 25 year old whose family sees her as the only possible source of financial security? Is your life anything like hers? If she goes to work at a 7 Eleven in preparation of meeting a foreigner, and consequently, a man much more prosperous and better able to help her build that nest, does the 5,000 – 6,000 per month help her avoid the gogos and old lonely men fuelled by Viagra and years of frustration? And so what if she watches a man adore her tonight then the lady hugging the chrome pole next to her the following evening, is she compelled to satisfy the farangs demand for fidelity? Or maximize her profit potential and feel free and empowered? Those of us who live here full time develop some friendships with the wonderful women who started out for whatever and sometimes legitimate motives to enrich her life? Should she give it to drunken men in the northeast for free or more grateful fellows in Pattaya, Patong, Sukhumvit or Chiang Mai?

They are all human beings and, I find if you respect them, they will treat you as a friend even if you've been with them 4 or 5 times and while she dances there are another five of six in the room you may already be quite familiar with from other nights. They can all be your friend, or at least friendlier than women back home.

As is the case with all women, even these so-called "bad girls" can help us be better men…

If you are the man who thinks he can buy her love, then feel free to prove it as it doesn't happen… You can help her family and have some companionship. But like many women, they want an honest communication to build that bridge between a man and a woman. And they like good sex, not a thorough pounding. If they see you here enough to know you are around full time they will have some interest, she will tell you when the full time payers are coming to town, and you can visit that other Ferrari at some other chrome pole palace while she takes care of the guy who sends her big chunks monthly. We have enough lovely girls here for several lifetimes…

And if you are kind. But not a cash throwing fool, you can have some meaningful friendships and why not? If you are like many of the old broken toys, but not a bad man, you can enjoy what time we have left without the dire loneliness in America, Europe or down under where women want both male and female roles.

The more Thai you learn the closer you get to real friends among the Thai ladies and many nice Thai men… And if she says you are "roo mak" forget her and let her have the tourist.

Go ahead and have fun, friends. I am 60 and have a better life than I ever had back in the so-called "1st world". Sometimes the girl will tell you she doesn't like the young man and I read here at the site how many young men find it disgusting that the older version of them has his fun with these beautiful thoroughbreds. It may surprise some young experts to learn that the older men have actually been their age and equally as idiotic with women. I can't lump all the guys in their 20's into some negative category, but can only recall my own life and making fun of people because they are old or fat or bald and how superficial that all seems now. I do take care of myself as do many other "seniors" primarily because we know women like decent bodies too…Age we cannot do much about, but certainly none of us older men want to give up because some young man feels we are out of style. And if some old boy doesn't care enough about his health that he has become obese, I guess it is his business.

For certain, this is a country and place where we can all escape the anxiety of over achieving societal pressures and enjoy a form of grace many of us naturally crave, but is unavailable in more consumer driven competitive societies. For me, it is a bit over four years now and many lessons and I am still happy to have given up that $200K per year job to live on the money a reasonably successful gogo girl makes (pretty much the same as my pension) and have daily laughs, adventures, and human warmth in a place I still believe cannot be beat.

If you were ever in the military maybe you can recall the complaining and whining among enlisted men? Sometimes we as expats sound something like that and I hope we can escape that thinking and enjoy what we have because nobody has mentioned a better place yet. We just need to know that many here will lie for the hope of immediate gratification and others will offer astonishing kindness…and occasionally folks will try to make you appear the villain for their own agenda of making some money from you as a patsy. It is up to us learn how to cope and adapt, and maybe that is each individual's responsibility? Anyway, I hope we can all enjoy this life and place,

Chok Dee, Gary in Jomtien

Stickman's thoughts:

It is nice to find someone who simply enjoys it for what it is.