Stickman Readers' Submissions March 30th, 2007

Thai Women Do What They Want

China Hotel Guide
• Jing Chuan Hotel
• Jinjiang Generation Commercial Hotel
• Pearl International Hotel Chengdu
• Shangri-La Hotel Chengdu

My name is Fon, my name means "Rain" in Thai language and I am 32 years old. I speak English now very good and write English very good. I marry now for six years to a American man who is 15 years older then me. I met him in Thailand
when he come to work for a two year short time, we met at my bar I work and yes I was a bar girl and always will be in my heart.

You see I enjoy what I do and sometimes wish I can still be with my friends in the night. I was 17 years old when I first start to learn how to meet men in bar and make money. To me it was most fun time of my life, laughing with my friends, drinking with
foreign men who just want to have good time on holiday. We never worry, everyday was a party.

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My friends and I would share rooms and sleep together in one bed. We would save a lot money that way. We just had to send money back to are family, it was our only worry. Some of us had Thai husband or boyfriend to take care, but not me, I just enjoy
man to take care me.

A foreign man is so easy and fall in love so fast. The farang would give me gold and money for any sad story I tell them and all the time saying he want marry me. They would say they want to take me away from bar life and say things like how can I be
with so many men. I would act sad and say how tired I was to work like this, but deep inside my heart I was happy for this job I do. You see most bar girl do not understand foreign man and why they want only one lady to stay home and clean for
them and only have love for them.

Thai man does not care about these things and only wants the money we make, so they can buy whiskey for their friends. Thai man does not care how many men we sleep with, just as long as money come to them. A foreign man is always jealous and scream or
punch Thai lady, sometimes send us to doctor. Most Thai lady hate foreign man and as most of you know marry for the money we can take and if we are lucky, we can escape back to Thailand and give family money. In some cases the Thai bar girl gives
money to husband Thai, who they love no matter if he is a drunk or if he hits her and his lazy, that does not matter for he is the man the Thai bar girl will always love.

Our heart is not easy to take because of a man who has money. I always like work the bar and if you would just think of it, if you could be like me. If a man could work at bar and have lady to drink with every night, have many laughing and get paid for
having a good time with different lady every night. Would you not want to keep that job? Sometimes you have a ugly lady or fat, maybe smell, but you get money. Most of us bar girls try to stay away from poor farang, who look bad, but most of the
time foreign man not so bad that come to Thailand.

Sex is something Thai ladies learn at a young age, we do many times before most of us leave our homes to find work in the Bangkok bars. Sex to us comes natural, like going to the bathroom or brushing our hair. We enjoy it and love to have fun, so why
would we want to lose this kind of work.

When I turned 26 years old I never think to meet man to marry. I never want Thai man because of having to give money to them. But I never want to marry a foreign man either, unless he have lots of money. So comes my husband his name Diego, Spanish man
or something. His skin light brown and he kind of cute I think. He say he from America, but I no believe him because he not white skin. He working Thailand for short time and when I met him I think easy money for me. We make good love together,
and he make me laugh a lot. He come to bar after work almost every night see me and when he not come I feel like I miss him. So I ask to move with him in apartment, but I think easy for me to get more money and keep other bar lady away. But he
not pay bar for me every night and he say he no want woman stay with him. I get mad at him for he not love me and I think why he not want me to stay with him. I am beautiful Thai lady, number one at the bar, many man want me. So why does he not
want me to stay with him? I say to Diego if he does not want me to live with him, then other man take me every night. He say no problem, go with other man, make money, Diego say I go to your bar to have fun, sometimes you not there anyway and
I have fun with or without you.

He say "Why do you think I only need you?" That is what he said to me and it hurt me bad. So I ask him if I live with him can I still work at bar. Diego said yes work at bar but never bring a man to this apartment or you will have to go. So
I live with him, but I do not know why, but I think he will change his mind when I do not come home from stay all night with customer and soon he will beg me to stay home and he will pay bar. All foreign men are jealous, so in time Diego will
beg me to stay home and give lots of money to me to take care. But he never did, I would go away all night sometimes for 2 or 3 days and he would never be mad. He would be happy to see me and he never jealous, it make me crazy.

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One time I come home and he have another lady stay the night. I get real mad at him, I want to kick him for this, but he say you have man, so I have lady. This is same same right? Diego say to me when you want to be a good woman then I promise to be good
man. But you just want to play with many men, so I play with many lady. I tell Diego I love him and want to take care him, I say if I could quit bar, then all he has to do is pay family 5,000 baht a month. He say to me that he would only love
a woman who thinks of him first, not a lady who wants to send money to family or some lady who ask for money all the time. Diego say to me that he think I just child and need to grow in mind before he believe me. Diego say when I want to be lady
and not little girl, then maybe he can love me. I tell him I want to change, I want to give up bar life if he could help me with money. Diego say no money he say grow up little girl, he say if you really want to change, then for me to trust him
and in one year he would take care of me and family. So I say all right to that, I tell him I have 40,000 baht in bank and can send family 3000 baht a month for one year. What would you do for me I ask him. Diego say if you send family money for
one year, then I will pay you 64000 baht in one year, if you do everything I say, you must obey me.

For one year I live with Diego, he send me to school for better English. I take classes for hair style and making flowers. He make me dress different, not like bar girl. He make me feel like a real lady of Thailand and all the time he strong with words.
I fell like he father, but I in love with him like boyfriend and happy to see myself as a different woman in the mirror everyday. I start to feel like people look at me like I am a classy Thai woman and not like a Thai bar girl. The more I learn
and do the more I started to understand what a strong man could do for me. Diego has always been strong with words, but never would he hurt me, his words were more wise and I knew he would be strong to move on past me if I cheated on him or if
he catch me with Thai girlfriends or with another man. I knew he would end our love just like that, if he thought I was acting like a bar girl.

Soon all that was behind me and we got married, Diego kept his promise and paid my family money 250,000 baht, not a lot of money but I knew he would help my family if they needed more. I now work in America and even though there are a lot of handsome
men, I do not want to hurt my husband who has taught me a lot. Anyway my Diego is smart, he made me sign paper so I can not take his money, but I fall in love with him so who needs it. Yes Thai woman do what they want, but strong men are what
they want. So if you are sending money or believe the buffalo is sick or that the brother was in a motorcycle accident. If you are sending money thinking we wait for you and we only love you. Then think again, make our lives better, show us strength,
be strong without strong action, keep your word and maybe you too can change a bar girl, unless you are weak and can not move on with your life, then better for us we need the money…..

Stickman's thoughts:

It's hard to know if this really was written by a Thai woman. The use of "would" to talk about routines from the past is something I never hear Thais who have not studied English to a decent level using correctly – and you did use it correctly. Hmmm. But then there are other grammatical errors that don't add up. But then parts of the final paragraph are exactly how many Thai women think. I have to admit that I truly do not know if this was written by a Thai woman or not. Whatever the case, it was an interesting read.

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