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Horror Dates In LOS

  • Written by Anonymous
  • March 30th, 2007
  • 10 min read


Black Pagoda Patpong Bangkok

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The first thing that I noticed when I came to Bangkok were all those slender, nubile, long haired, white skinned drop dead gorgeous girls. It doesn’t really matter where in Bangkok you are but they are everywhere. I often think there must be a factory somewhere near the city that makes them and spits them out by the thousands every day. I was instantly smitten with (all of them) but soon found out they were very hard to approach and even harder to ask for a date.

The company I work for (like every company in BKK) has its fair share of these girls, but somehow I didn’t find it a wise move to try to ask one of them for a date, not that they were interested in me but the fact that they were my co-workers would make it hard for them to ignore me if I started talking to them. Sure enough, most actually replied if I said something to them (mostly in monosyllables, but still). Anyway I felt they were haughty and illusive creatures, best to be left alone. However over time I got to know a few of them a bit better (this took quite some months) and finally I was bold enough to ask one of them for a date. I first asked her if that would be appropriate being co-workers and all, but she told me it was no problem, so she actually said yes.

Before I continue, there is also another type of Bangkok girl, she is completely opposite in looks as the aforementioned type, all of you have seen them and probably never dated or bothered talking to them they seem to be not nearly as abundant as the nubile and slender vixen. I’m talking about the short, chubby, short haired women. They almost always wear glasses and are also white skinned. Nobody would ever mistake them for pretty girls, not even after consuming 2 bottles of Vodka! The fact that they are not seen as frequent doesn’t mean that there are less of them, my hunch is that they just don’t go out and about as much as the every-guy’s-wet-dream variety. I think as far as the real Bangkok girls are concerned the ratio between the pretty and the not pretty ones is about 50 to 50. There hardly seems to be an in-between category, it’s either the long legged, long haired, slender gorgeous creature or the chubby, short haired, never pretty person. Why I think it is 50/50? Because in my company which is very big the ratio between the two was about half half.

We chose a nice and expensive restaurant. We hadn’t been seated more than 1 minute when her phone started ringing, without any excuse or look in my direction she answered it, the phone conversation took about 5 minutes. After the call was finished I barely had time to say one sentence before the thing started ringing again. This call lasted about 8 minutes. Food had arrived during the second call. After she had finished this call, I just managed to say “enjoy your meal” before the third call came in. After call number 5 or something I started to get a bit pissed off and between two calls I asked her if she would mind turning off her phone. She looked at me as if I had asked her to undress there and then, sufficient to say she wouldn’t even think about it, and then the next call came in. Until now she had hardly had time to eat one spoonful. I waited for a few more calls and then I really had enough. I asked (shouted) for the waiter and when he came I told him to give the bill. Then I paid, stood up and left, all this time my lovely friend was of course busy answering a call and I think she didn’t even notice that I had paid and left.

Anybody who thinks I would have had enough of dating these girls is wrong. My next plan was try the good old web. Remember it was early 2003. In those days it was still possible for an average looking white bloke to put his profile on a dating site and send messages to pretty Bangkok girls who would actually reply and even continue the contact until a date was scheduled. You won’t have to try this anymore now. Nowadays the farang from around the globe have discovered the “online Thai Girl” and consequently these girls now have more fans then the most famous Hollywood actor or actress. You have to really stand out in the crowd now to make them even remotely interested.

But anyway back then it was different and after about a month I had found (online) this typical Bangkok girl from the knockout variety and a date was set. When she saw me she looked shocked. I asked her what was wrong and she said she had the flu. In the restaurant we ordered food. I soon felt she was really disappointed in my looks. It might be my fault because in my profile I had put a dated and very flattering picture of myself. The current me was not nearly as good looking. Anyway the date was a complete disaster, after she had nibbled on more than 15 dishes (she just kept ordering because I was paying) she suddenly declared she was feeling sick and wanted to go home. No need to say I never heard from her again.

For an Aussie bloke it needs a lot of banging his head against the wall before he realizes that this hurts and that the wall will not give in, so I tried again. This time through a male Thai co-worker who had taken pity on me. He told me he had a gorgeous female friend who was really interested in meeting farang guys. Both claims would turn out to be very true, but the second one not the way I had liked it to be. She wanted to meet up for the date in the Emporium. My Thai friend came with me to make the formal introductions and then he left, leaving us alone. She was the most beautiful girl I had ever dated, she could easily be a top model in any country (except of course in Thailand where her type abounds). She chose a fast food restaurant that had lots of other farang milling around. When we were seated with our food I tried to have a conversation with her but she hardly had any interest in me. Her eyes kept wandering around the place, and I noticed they stopped at all those gorgeous farang guys who were walking around, ordering food and sitting at other tables. I felt like a fifth wheel here because she was obviously regretting that I was there when there could have been so many gorgeous guys to hunt. It was incredibly hard for her to make her eyes loose from those guys and to focus on what I was saying, I have to say she tried, but she would forget what I had told her in 1 minute, it just did not register. Finally I could not bear it anymore and when a tall and handsome farang was walking past our table, she was almost drooling when she was looking at him, I asked him over and to my friend’s surprise I told him “my friend here wants me to introduce you to her”. Well, the both of them had nothing against my move and were soon engaged in an intimate conversation. I told them I had to use the bathroom and stood up, not planning to go there of course but to make a retreat. I just couldn’t go, I wanted to see the outcome and 5 minutes later I had a peek around the corner where they could not see me but I could see them, and sure enough they were still sitting there. About 10 minutes later they both stood up and left, so I followed them to see what would happen. Outside (they were holding hands now) they were waiting for a bit until a taxi pulled up and both of them went in the back. I took the next taxi and went home.

This last blow struck home, much more than the previous dates. It took quite some time until I got over it and had a date again, of course equally disastrous. Until now I had never had a date with the Bangkok girl variety that nobody dates, the more or less invisible girls who more often then not don’t even look like girls. Of course as many of them were also co-workers I knew quite a few of them and I had already (long ago) noticed that they were much more approachable, not arrogant and always very friendly. Like I said I had never dated one but I felt they would be very willing, yes, flattered if somebody asked them for a date. Finally after one too many disappointing dates I knew it was time to either drastically lower my standards or to stop dating or stuff my pockets full of baht and hit the bars.

I chose the first option and secured a date with a short and chubby co-worker with short hair and glasses. The date was a complete success, the experience wasn’t even remotely similar with the ones I had with any of the pretty girls. This girl was really and genuinely interested in me. I think she fell in love with me on the first date, no I’m actually pretty sure of that. Nowadays I have quite a few of those chubby and short and extremely plain looking female friends, they have helped me in many ways (except getting a girlfriend) I can say they are really good friends, I think many secretly hope I will fall in love with them but I just cannot do that. I never slept with one of them, because I wouldn’t know what to do, my attraction to them is completely not sexual. Most of these girls are really smart and hard working and have always been single. Most of them have degrees (they could study hard because unlike their stunner friends they did not have to divide their time in Uni between the books and a string of boyfriends). This doesn’t mean however that these girls are shunned by all Thais, no way because of their character and the way they behave more often then not they have many friends also male, it is only very hard for them to find a guy who really falls in love with them. Thai guys from their social class are really choosy when it comes to looks. Often the only way for these girls to find a husband is to date way below their social class, but they don’t like to get a jobless loser kinda husband who only marries them for their money/income and who will most likely will keep a string of girlfriends behind their back (of course paid for with the girl’s money).

Stickman's thoughts:

It is so true what you say about Internet girls these days. The market is flooded with guys from all over the world and these girls have real options. Who said Thai girls were less interested in handsome guys? The handsome guys get the best looking girls!

As for the girl on the mobile, well that is just downright rude. But you know what, it happens when Thais are out with Thais too. Watch Thais in any restaurant and you will see exactly the same. It is a dreadful lack of manners and social skills that allows that to happen. Thank your lucky stars that you found out on the first date that she has poor social skills.