Readers' Submissions

A Monger No Longer (I hope)

  • Written by Gadzooks
  • March 7th, 2007
  • 6 min read


Well, everyone's got his own reasons, and we don't point fingers at each other, do we? (Unless, that is, someone's dodging his round in the bar, and I believe a guy who does that is capable of any conceivable evil.) Been a loyal Stickman reader for some time, though never posted because haven't had anything particular to say. Reason is, I'm not a player any more.

We've heard a number of different reasons why people monger, and as far as I'm concerned one is as valid as the other. But I suspect I'm not untypical, in that it isn't really my thing; my active participation in the scene lasted from the beginning of the end of my first marriage to the beginning of the beginning of my second. In that position whoring makes sense. If you're in a dead marriage which you can't leave because of the kids, you haven't got much to offer a non-commercial girlfriend. What you need is the odd woman who will cost you a fixed and foreseeable number of dollars, baht or whatever, rather than everything you've ever owned or ever could. Most of my knowledge comes from China, where I happened to be when it all went pear-shaped, though I've also had a good deal of fun in Thailand, Singapore, Philippines, Malaysia, Korea etc.

There's plenty of action in China. It's not always easy to tell the difference between bars where people just hang out and bars devoted to pick-ups, largely because the latter are illegal (but tolerated so that they have to disguise themselves as the former). But, despite the laws (prostitution is illegal and, if you're staying in an expensive hotel – where they do take pictures – you may well get the police intervening, purely in search of a rake-off) there's plenty of it about. Outside Beijing and Shanghai there's not a lot of English spoken, but the universal language of sex and cash will usually do the job. (Turn up in a provincial hotel and the chances are you'll have a young lady on the phone before too long, though not always one who understands any known language.) The key is that there are no religious hang-ups about sex (the Chinese are a pretty irreligious people) and most of the social taboos (e.g. about virginity) were destroyed in the Cultural Revolution 40 years ago. Most Chinese girls are happy to go for it, but do remember most of them are fairly poor. 400 – 500 RMB (US$50 – 60) should easily see you all right; in places where the scene is more tolerated, open competition may bring the price down to 200 – 300.

One of the best bets in Beijing is the Mongolians. Mongolia is a seriously dirt poor country, and one of their best exports is girls. The point about Mongolian girls is that they are Asian in appearance but often Russian in figure. In Mongolia they eat a lot of meat – it is vegetables that are the luxury there. So they have impressive tits; if you like the Asian look but are disappointed at the normal Asian figure, this is the way to go. The meeting points for Mongolians are the Pig & Thistle Bar in the Holiday Inn Lido Hotel, and Maggie's Bar at the south entrance to Ritan Park. They are fun girls – often spent an enjoyable evening with a group of them – and very enthusiastic in the sack; I've never met a Mongolian starfish. But they are very interested in money – as well they might be, as they are all supporting huge numbers of brothers and sisters, as well as probably a baby of their own. They're quite likely to promise you an all-nighter and then leave you at 1 AM to get back to the bar for another try. (They will try for 1000RMB (US$125). You should aim for 500 short time and 800 long time.) After 2 AM you may well have her all to yourself. (Then the range is 800 – 1000.)

Freelancers are actually a lot less dodgy than in Thailand. They're usually straight-up girls who haven't been taken on by a pimp yet. In China you only have to worry about organised crime; the individual scam artists won't get the support of the police if push comes to shove. The reason is because the ordinary Chinese citizen has no rights at all: whereas the laowai (= farang) has consulates and so on to call on if things get hairy. Any small-time Chinese operator will be hung out to dry by the authorities if he gets them into embarrassment with a foreign consulate. The dice are loaded in your favour for once.

Nevertheless it was a Beijing freelancer who got me into the worst trouble ever, entirely through her own brainlessness. I was returning to my hotel late at night, not particularly sober, and met one just outside my hotel. I'd been with her before, and she'd been OK, only wanting 400 RMB (US$50) and being prepared to take 343 which was all I had. Small girl, but with nipples like chapel hatpegs as we Brits say. So I invited her in – it had just gone midnight. The hotel gave no problem – probably took a cut. But when we got to my room I needed a pee badly and thought I might as well take a quick shower while I was there. At that point the phone rang. Now, you'd think one of the first things any working girl learns is, if you're in a punter's hotel room and the phone rings, you don't answer it. But not this one. She passed it to me as I came out of the bathroom; I wave Miss Chapel Hatpegs angrily (but silently, though unpaid) out of the room, and settle down to an hour and a half explaining to my wife why my hotel room phone is being answered by a woman at five past midnight. I made some excuse about a fault on the line leading her back to the receptionist; I don't think she really believed me, but it's amazing what you can do with stout denial. Actually my strongest argument was that surely neither a girlfriend nor a prostitute would be stupid enough to answer the phone.

Now married to an Oriental (Mainland Chinese) I have experienced a lot of the INSANE jealousy that so many Stickman contributors warn us about. So I'm trying to clean up my act. Trouble is, even quite apart from the sex it's such good fun. I'd rather spend an evening with whores and drunks and general low-life than a lot of corporate suits any day of the week. (Last time I went to Thailand I came back with a scar on my forehead caused by falling flat on my face in the bath of a short-time hotel.) And I'm shortly to test my resolution to destruction with 3 weeks in the LOS with a friend (a gay guy with a long-term Thai boyfriend, so I should manage to keep clear of the serious danger spots).

Will report back if anything interesting happens (which it isn't supposed to…)

Long live the Stick and his motley crew!

Stickman's thoughts:

She answered the phone?! What was she thinking?! Wow, I have never heard of a working girl doing that before!