Stickman Readers' Submissions February 15th, 2007

The Limp Tells It All

Introduction – the deep and diverse pleasures of being a dirty old man are seriously underestimated by those who have not tried it.

Now we are done with philosophy, lets get down to reality. The doctor tells me the limp on my right side is due to damage to my knee and hip joints from carrying extra weight. He keeps telling me that for my height and bone structure I should
weigh around 185 pounds instead of the 360 pounds I really have. Anyway, the cute little thing walking alongside me is really good at catching my back and arm when I stumble, even though she weighs only 95 pounds and is young enough to be my grand-daughter.
It’s a good thing I don’t have a grand-daughter yet or I might have to ask myself some tough questions.

There are broken pieces of concrete heaving up through some of the sidewalks in Banglamphu and trees growing up through the sidewalk in places. So I choose the places that I walk carefully. Ideally, it is a stretch of sidewalk at least three
feet wide without any holes in it to trip me up. (Once I fell flat on my face while watching a young lady’s ass because I didn’t see the hole I stepped into.) With the added stability from the fine young filly’s support, on
a good day, the limp doesn’t show too much.

He Clinic Bangkok

She is Thai-Chinese and a bit taller than most Thai women. Outstanding body that would help her earn a good living in a Hooters restaurant in the USA. Her family is fairly wealthy and owns property in the Siam Square area. She had an arranged
marriage and baled out after one year. She hated the whole situation and now her family see her as a rebel who is out of control. She just wants them to leave her alone. For a long time she wanted to start her own business and saved as much as
she could. Eventually she found a cheap place to rent and started the business up. After two years she decided the amount of effort she had to put into it wasn’t worth the return she was getting, so she found a lady to manage it for her.
Now she gets only a trickle of baht but she gains face from having her own business.

One afternoon when we were lying by the pool, a drunk Oztralian made a comment something like “Tits like that on an Oriental are about as good as tits on a bull.” Now we definitely do not have bulls with tits in the USA, so
it made me wonder what these young Ozzie lads get up to. Also makes me wonder how safe the water buffalo are up in Isaan. Strange thing that most Ozzies I meet are already drunk. They seem very much like the Eastenders from the public housing
in London who fancy themselves as crimmos in Pattaya.

Back to Boo. Her name is so long that I often get it wrong, so I call her Boo. In the mornings, when I have a fair amount of energy, she rides me like a wild mare. As good as it feels for her, it feels incredible for me, as I lie there on
my back. When we are done, she uses the towel I keep around my neck to wipe the sweat off my forehead and face. She takes another towel to sop up the pool of sweat that formed under the hair on my chest, where it bulges out into the curve of my
belly. Where in the Western world could I find this kind of dedication? The total experience is as close to what I imagine heaven will be like.

CBD bangkok

She gives me unconditional acceptance. That is a very powerful thing. Whatever I want to do is “Up to You.” If I want to swim in the hotel pool instead of taking a shower, she makes no complaint about that. Mind you, the stuff
you see floating in some of the pools, it sometimes makes you think twice. When I get an occasional zit on the top of my bald head, she is quite willing to squeeze it, same thing with the zits half way down my back. Then she buys the triple antibiotic
cream at the chemist’s to clear it up. Boo thinks I get the zits because I only swim in the hotel pool once every two days instead of every day. Anyway, she is willing to go bike riding with me on the back alleys and paths in Pinklao. She
will even sit within 6 feet of me when I dismember and eat a durian. I have to do that down by the side of the river because they are not allowed near the hotel. Mangy soi dogs often threaten to bit you but do you know that soi dogs like really
stinky durian?

Once in a while at the hotel or a restaurant, some western woman will make a loud and disapproving remark and look at me with well practiced scorn. So I pretend to be Oztralian and say “G’day ladies, isn’t life great?”
It is impossible to imagine any of these great white whales giving me any of the fine pleasures that Boo does. Their desire to dominate, their misguided morality and the western religion that messed with their heads make them thoroughly unattractive.
One of their favourite lines is “Who will miss you when you die?” To which I answer “Life is for the living not for the dead. This Sheila is the finest shrimp I ever had on my barbie.”

Now some of the young guys who take a second look at her big boobs and her very fine ass may think that she is only with me for the money. Absolutely true. Gold standard service at discounted prices. Well guys, keep looking, I have got her
and you don’t. Without going into detail, I have enough money to keep her happy. The premier service and affection that I get for a small amount of dollars is a stark contrast with the experience of some of my friends in the US who were
completely cleaned out by divorce settlements. They got seriously screwed in a way they didn’t want. I pay far less and wow, look at what I’ve got. How indescribable she makes my old body feel. My contribution beyond the money is
that I give her full acceptance and support her desire to avoid her family members.

In Banghlamphu there are lots of young American and Europeans who have even younger Thai girlfriends who follow them round everywhere, extremely quietly. These young ladies always give me the impression of being obedient puppies. On a website
run by a company that publishes a popular guide book, I suggested that these young ladies were really only hookers with a different way of working and I got seriously flamed for that. Recently Boo said she agrees with me and she estimates that
95 percent of the women in Bangkok are engaged in some form of prostitution or another.

wonderland clinic

Nobody seems to have a problem with these young guys taking full advantage of nature’s bounty. It’s only with us older guys that age discrimination kicks in. Those that want to deny us these pleasures always have some distorted
reason that we should not enjoy the pleasures of being a dirty old man. It is nature. Young men or old men, even the ladyboys, we are all dogs driven by instinct, and oh, how good it feels.


Stickman's thoughts:

360 pounds?! I can't comment on the age thing as I am not really that old. But, I will say that personally the idea of sleeping with a woman aged under 25 doesn't appeal. Yeah, maybe I am in a minority but why oh why do guys fantasize about women aged around 20? They are still like kids personality wise, and for me that is a huge turn off.

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