Readers' Submissions

Thailand’s Very Own Fashion Police Officer

  • Written by Anonymous
  • February 20th, 2007
  • 5 min read


Black Pagoda Patpong Bangkok

by Cnote

Thailand’s fashion police officer gets under my skin like a dirty syringe. His arrogance is unheard of. He thinks he is wise when we know better. People who boast so much about their knowledge and are awfully condescending really are showing their own short comings.

His last piece the The Pleasure Of Phuket's High Season is one example. With all what’s happening in the land of smiles new visa restrictions, coups, bombings, and a host of other tragedies I care not to discuss what does Mr. Brains choose to write about in a derogatory way after boring us with his amateur fiction novels? People’s attire that are on vacation.

They say birds of a feather flock together and in this piece we find here it is no exception. His friend has the audacity to tell two young men vacationing they should wear a shirt while they are on vacation in a city that is one the top beach destinations in the world. Hmmm?

Then his friend gets angry when they responded in a hostile manner. Should they have responded any other way? “Sorry Mr. Fashion police, we will throw on a shirt right now.” This guy is obviously bitter. What are you so angry about? The world is harsh grow up.

Me and my pals just left Phuket a couple of months ago and at the beach resort we stayed at there were many European and American tourists. Most smiling and singing, glad to be on vacation no doubt after slaving away at thankless jobs in North America and Europe.

I saw guys walking around shirtless and in sandals, and beautiful women walking down the street in two-piece bikinis and I didn’t think to myself, “Oh they are half naked, the nerve of these people.” I thought to myself these people must feel really good that they are in a place they can just unwind and be themselves.

It seems that is not the case though as long as the fashion police officer is around. All who leave the beach must promptly put on a suit and tie or wear something that is up to his insane standards or will have the pleasure of being harassed by a derange middle-age obese American expatriate who will ask “How is the water” in reference to your attire.

Me and my pals partied the nights away in Phuket for a week before going to Pattaya for a week. We were not worried about our clothes. We were worried about being comfortable in Phuket’s sweltering heat. My taste of clothing is hip hop attire, but to be comfortable we went shopping in one of Phuket clothing areas and bought nothing but tank tops and shorts and even after dressing down we had no problem attracting the opposite sex of the foreign and native types.

The first night I hit Bangla Road some Caucasian tourist saw me and my pals hanging out by a drug store and promptly started making W signs with their hands. In America that stands for Westside. I guess they think that’s how we greet each other they must have watched too much MTV. Did I grow a fit and get angry at them? No of course not, I am bigger then that. I waved back to them and continued to discover Bangla Road.

We hit the Tiger club and inside I heard girls screaming their lungs out. I don’t recall no one saying “Gee golly, look how those guys are dressed.” Then the fashion police officer says to himself “Gotcha” after he criticizes those who don’t even know they are being criticized. A narrow-minded man no doubt who has suffered from many of life's defeats so he must get as many little victories as he can.

After making our way out of the Tiger club we made our way down to the Banana Club. A hip hop club if you want call it that. Foreigners from all over the world were inside. Americans, Japanese, Europeans, and of course a lot of Thai freelance prostitutes. I was accosted by many of the “working girls” but wind up meeting a girl who owned her own beauty salon and clothing store on one of Phuket’s side streets. When she told me she owned this place my thinking was like whatever. Till after using her business card to catch a taxi over to the place the next day.

Me and my pals spent the day getting free hair cuts and manicures from her and her associates and eating, drinking etc. Hell she told me when I come back I can stay at ONE of her homes. Yeah Phuket will always have a place in my heart but it would have been more memorable if the fashion police officer would have stopped by to talk to us.

Dear Mr. Fashion police, there is not a person on this earth who can say they have never been scammed or tricked at some level or another. You seem to have a real hard on for the hip hopper, please enlighten us what is the real reason?

For all who read this go to Thailand it’s a beautiful. See it for yourself don’t take no one’s word for what it is. Go see for yourself what it is to discover. Enjoy yourself. Be safe and wise in your actions and if the fashion police officer shows, up respond like those two young gentlemen did. To all a goodnight.

Stickman's thoughts:

It's a difficult situation this. Good points were made by both parties. Thailand *is* a socially conservative society but tourists don't see that, especially in the likes of Patong and Pattaya.