Love And Insurance
by The Fuzzman
I first visited Pattaya back in 1989 and had an absolute ball. So back in the new year of 2005 I decided along with 3 other mates to return and check out how things have changed and can tell you it is 3 times the size from what I can remember of ‘89.
We arrived in June for a 21 day visit, a couple of nights in Bangkok and the rest of the time in Pattaya. I’m not going to say much about Bangkok except to say how filthy Nana Plaza was = someone should employ a cleaning company to clean that place
up. I mean there was rubbish laying everywhere, a real mess.
Anyway onto a minibus and off to Pattaya. We arrive around 3pm and get dropped at a bar that two Aussie guys run. They have quite good modern rooms for 300 baht a night (it is low season). I meet this girl working at the bar, she tells me she is from
Udon Thani and her name is Porn. She is only about 5feet tall, a great little butt and a smile that got me right in. Her English was not too bad but not too good either but my brain told me I must have this girl so of course as the rules are in
LOS, he who has wallet has no difficulty in having what they want
You might wonder why I have not mentioned my friends. We are all around 40, single and spend most of our time away from work drinking beer at one of the many watering holes in Newcastle where we come from. Let’s face it, all 4 of us would struggle
to get a decent western women and who wants to be told when they can and can’t go to the boozer, not us.
Anyway, my mates have all got pretty little girls under their arms and at this time the booze was not the priority. “See you boys". So it was checkbin and barfine then Porn and I were up to the room. We both undressed and jumped
in the shower, Porn washing every inch of my body with soap and sponge then it was onto the bed. Fantastic sex in every position you can imagine and I think to myself, oh shit I’m gonna fall in love with this no doubt and I did.
I spent every minute of the next 19 days with Porn and she never had the smile off her face (I guess making around 20,000 baht in 2 weeks or so is not bad for a country girl from up north) until it was time for me to leave. She sat on the bed crying as
she folded every piece of my clothing into my suitcase “I not want you to go “she kept saying and I was blocking it out so I too would not cry. We exchanged phone numbers, embraced and kissed and I was off back to Australia.
Once home and back to work Porn and I SMS each other everyday with me phoning to talk with her around 3 times a week. God, I missed her. Although I did not ever kid myself she was not working, in fact I encouraged her to work to send money back to Udon
for her mama and oh, did I forget to mention she also has a 2 year old son her mother looks after. She needed to make money and send it home. This is how it works for most of these girls from up north. Anyhow I had said to myself I will never
send money to a bargirl in Thailand.
After a month or so Porn told me she was no longer at the bar and had returned home as her baby was very ill and she needed help with some money. I contacted my mate at the bar and he confirmed this was true as far as he knew. So I opened my heart, I
just could not bare to think of her struggling with nothing and a very sick baby so I sent her 5000 baht (she had asked for 30,000 but my heart was not that ajar).
As has it she seemed very happy with the 5000. As I said I was saving my money so I could return LOS and be with her again. Just a quick note for all you guys who are sending money to Thailand. always do it through a bank transfer sometimes the posted
items do seem to go walkabout.
Over the next 5 months we declared our love for each other every day and I continued to send her 5000 baht each month even though she was back working in the bar <Why?! – Stick>
Around November one of my mates I went with in June (we call him Chopper) booked to return to Thailand on January 26 (Australia day) 2006. Me to be with Porn, Chopper to have sex as many times with as many different girls as possible in 16 days. Although
Chopper likes his cold beer, the two major things on his mind 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, is simply food and sex or maybe sex and food not sure. I think he probably eats a meat pie sometimes while he is shagging.
I woke up on January 26 feeling rather off colour like I had a dose of the flu and I thought to myself boy, I haven’t had the flu for years this is just great. Anyway nothing was gonna stop me from going back to see my Porn, so off to the airport
Chopper and I go, me telling him on the 3 hour trip how shitty I feel but still thinking of Porn and how the flu would last 3 or 4 days and I would be ok.
Well 10 hours or so later we arrive in Bangkok where our mate with the bar had arranged a nice black Volvo and driver to pick us up for the 2 hour ride to Pattaya. We stop on the way for a couple of bottles of beer of which I did not enjoy a drop.
Upon arriving at the bar it was mayhem, girls running out screaming and we felt like the Beatles must have back in the 60’s. And there was Porn with a big smile. We kissed and cuddled and she was just so happy to see me as I was to see her.
After shaking hands with the boys in the bar and said I’ll be right for a few beers in a day or two but for now it was off to bed for me, so I pay Porn's barfine and she followed her upstairs me with a carry bag her with a big suitcase.
Once up in the room I tell Porn that I feel very sick and she goes straight for the groin not understanding me saying boom boom darling and I say no boom boom at which she gets quite upset until she realises that a Catholic nun would have had a better
chance than me at getting an erection. So I lay on the bed and go to sleep almost instantly. Porn knew I was going to be with her for 16 days so I guess she was counting the cash, around 20,000 baht plus meals, gifts etc. so she lay next to me
and slept also.
The next morning I thought my head was going to explode and I asked Porn to take me to see doctor of which there was one just across the road. I am really starting to worry, not only for how unwell I felt but also the fact I had no medical insurance (stupid
Aussie idiot). The Dr. looks at me and tells Porn she must take me to the hospital to have some tests, apparently my eyes were bulging out of there sockets.
So off to Pattaya Bangkok Private Hospital, very flash indeed, one of the best in the world no doubt. They tell me I must stay in over night at which a enquire how much money for 1 night. They say 3500 baht and I agree I just want a bed to put my head
down before it blows up.
With Porn by my side I get a private room and hit the sack. I have never in over 40 years felt this sick and by afternoon my condition had become worse so they took me away and gave me a lumber puncture. Then I remember the Dr. showing me a test tube
with a cloudy liquid and him saying liquid should be clear, not cloudy. “You are very sick with bacterial meningitis (serious shit).”
Back to my room and there is Porn waiting for me but without a smile. Then I get a visit from Chopper and another good friend I went to school with called James who lives in Pattaya and is a self funded retiree at 43, not bad hey – and he is a bloody
good bloke. I only found out much later how bloody good.
After telling them both what they thought I had I don’t remember much after that as I slipped into a coma, only to awake 12 days later with both my parents sitting there at my bed side. James had been paying the hospital daily for my care and had
organised the trip for my parents who are still young, in their sixties, and do admit to having a good time at times when not at my beside. I guess a few stress relieving drinks at night were warranted.
But where was Porn? Mum found out from one of Chopper’s girlfriends that Porn had left around 11 days ago. Once again because of the sick baby. My recovery was slow and I never saw Porn again while I was in hospital. From what I remember, which
was a touch over 4 weeks, but another one of Chopper’s girls said Porn was back with her Thai boyfriend as she had seen them together in the street. So much for the sick baby in Udon!
I guess when the ATM is not working just stroll up the street and try the next one – or maybe she was married? So by the time I got out of that hospital I had paid over 1,000,000 baht, that’s about $36,000 Aussie dollars. They had to fly me back
business class with my parents as I was still hardly able to sit up straight
All in all I was off work for 4 months, costing me well over 50,000 Aussie dollars. So if you intend to travel, not only to Thailand, but anywhere, don’t forget your medical insurance. Mine would have cost $160, a pittance. Porn got the sack from
the bar but it didn’t stop her making a few last attempts by SMS. (I love you darling. I no work. Please send money help me). Well bad luck baby. I’m not stupid!
I bet there are many who will argue that point!
If they continue to work in the bar, there really is no reason to continue sending money, there really isn't.
Yikes, that hospital bill was steep!