Readers' Submissions

It Was Just An Illusion Sounds Familiar To Me

  • Written by Anonymous
  • February 8th, 2007
  • 4 min read


Black Pagoda Patpong Bangkok


The story in today's submissions seems so close to my own reality that I have to respond. The American, and I am one too, writes of a girl and a timeline that sure matches mine.

In May here in Pattaya I was given a new school teacher for my Thai class and felt delighted that she was so beautiful, fluent in English and not a bar girl. After three days of class, here we were in my room and already made a "monthly arrangement". Wow, it felt so great to have a beautiful 31 year old who made me feel as if I were back in the US and 30 years younger.

She had incidentally mentioned that she had had a wealthy European politician for many years and that she sometimes went to Europe. Well, two weeks into things she called and said she belonged to him and that she would be flying to Europe later in the month and would stay for 9 days. As the man is high up in politics she had much free time while there and traveled around. I was heartbroken already as she had fed me so much love I was addicted. For several days I heard nothing and the jealous resentment began to accumulate inside. But when she came back, things were passionate and like any old fool I forgave and forgot.

Quickly she went for marital commitment and I said; hey it's too soon. Let's talk again in 6 months. So she agreed to wait until November. By the way, her mood swings were beginning to give me extreme highs and lows and she began to ask if I could help her with purchasing a house she could use for rental income and it would help her to leave her wealthy European benefactor. It seems he had already bought her a huge 4 million bought home in Chiang Rai and a 4.5 million baht property in Naklua. Additionally the lady had a new Honda jazz, five motorbikes, and Mitsubishi Grandis 4 door 4X4 truck. Here I am, a retiree living in a one room condo in Jomtien and own another I could rent out. But, I drive a motorbike and was thinking she had most likely more money than me.

But, the real issue became not knowing when she spoke truthfully. And I began to hear about and see SMSs come in from Australia and a man who seemed quite obsessed with her and had even flown here once with 3 million baht to give her for a home purchase. At the same time we went to the hospital to get her IUD removed so we could create a child. What the hell as I thinking?

As it seemed for sure she was way out of my financial arena, I sent her way many times only to be beckoned back. So, come November and I am recovering from a replaced knee surgery and she asks about marriage. Unfortunately I bellowed out, "Hell no, you are totally selfish, you life evolves around manipulating men and you are unemployed yet suck money from a variety of men”. I had accidentally learned she received anywhere from 100,000 – 300,000 baht per month from the European and had promised fidelity to him for the past 5 years. Since it seemed likely to me that I was not her first sideshow, I began to see her in a harsh light.

Back to July, she flies off to him to meet him in Indonesia for a cruise. Of course I go nuts like a school boy. But, when she returns I am more crazy for her than ever but the jealousy is beginning to poison me.

A roller coaster of emotions describes the entire affair and as of December 28th we have had no contact and I have heard she has changed her phone number. On Christmas day she messaged me that she would marry her Australian fan and live down under in Perth.

All in all, it was an ordeal and she was, in fact, just working, I realise now. But, her screaming at the end and brandishing a huge knife around have left me with the belief that I was being conned, albeit it magnificently.

What can I honestly say now? Hey, I should have seen it all coming and actually did but was addicted to her anyway. She hated Stickman submissions and falangs that "roo mak". Over time I heard her put downs about all the geriatrics living here in Pattaya trying to finish their lives with some measure of happiness. As westerners we have feelings and morality different than folks from here. Especially about love and money.

It is up to us to adapt and come to our own peace inside. She and I behaved so ugly at the end that I regret many things I have said and hope to hell to have learned some things.

The man who wrote in today about an illusion could be talking about my ex and could not be as well. But, for sure I recognize his pain and am glad mine is past.

Let his healing help him see as the truth always surfaces with time.

Stickman's thoughts:

I truly believe that at the first sign of major trouble in a relationship – that is highly questionable behaviour – that one should just walk away. When knives and other similarly crazy things happen, it is not time to walk away. IT'S TIME TO RUN!