Stickman Readers' Submissions February 2nd, 2007

Confessions Of A Bangkok Bargirl Part 1 As Told To Lookpapa

My name is Toy, I’m from Kalasin. That’s in Isaan.

I’m 22 years old, average height for a Thai girl, dark skin, no different from other Isaan girls.

I’ve been living in Bangkok for 4 years already, a long time, I think.

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I come from a big family, 7 brothers and sisters, I’m the second oldest.

My parents are farmers, they lease a small block of land from the temple.

When I was a kid, I went to school, but not always, sometimes I had to help my parents working in the field. My older brother went to school more as it was more important for him to learn to read and write. I still managed to finish Prathom
6, but my grades were not so good; I can read ok but spelling is a problem for me.

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When the other kids were born to my mother, I spent a lot of time looking after them, so I could not attend school much.

I really don’t care, I think it’s not so important for an Isaan girl to be smart.

When I was about 14 years old, I began to look like a grown up and got my first see daeng (I think in English “period”). I was very shy about it and did not know what happened to me, but my mother noticed the blood
on my clothes and told me it’s thammadah for girls, so I just got used to it.

My father also noticed and started to act different to me, one night when everyone was asleep he slipped in under the mosquito net next to me and seemed very excited and forced my hand onto his groin, then I had to do things to him which
frightened me, but he said it’s ok, all girls have to show how much they love their fathers this way.

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He did this 2 or 3 times a week and told me not to talk about it to anyone, especially my mother, or he’ll whip me.

To tell the truth, sometimes I even enjoyed it myself, after I got used to it.

I had a girlfriend in school about my age, we used to tell each other our secrets, so I told her about it, and she said to same thing is happening to her at home.

One day, I visited her at her house and it was so hot, we decided to have a nap together and also compared our experiences in bed. The funny thing was that when we played these games we seemed to have enjoyed it so much, I was more than happy
to have a good friend like her.

After a while, I preferred not to have my father continue his games and tried to stop it, but he gave me such a beating and told my mother that I was a bad girl and did dirty things with my friends. My life was becoming hell at home, I loved
my parents but I felt I had no one to protect me from this sexual abuse, my mother would not hear of it.

At the age of about 16, we had a visit from an aunt from Bangkok, who told my parents of some job in Bangkok, sewing in a factory, and told them she is willing to take me there to live with them and learn to be a seamstress.

She said she’ll look after me and after I learn the job, I can send money home every month, about 1000 baht.

My parents thought it was a good idea, as they needed extra money and I was glad to get away and live in the big city. And so we packed a few of my clothes, said goodbye to everybody and got on the bus to Bangkok. I remember how excited and
happy I was to see the world!

I was sleeping all the way in the bus, until I was awakened by strange noises and when I sat up and looked out the window I saw we had arrived in Bangkok.

It was a wonderful sight to me, lots a cars, motorcycles, taxis, tuktuks, all trying to fight for a space on the road. It looked like a mad rush to me, and on the footpaths too, with loads of people seemingly busy walking, cooking, eating,
selling stuff and I don’t know what else. I could not believe my eyes, I’ve never seen anything like this in the village.

I asked my aunt where we were and she told me we are near Bangkapi, not far from her Moo Bahn, called Happy Land. So after we arrived and got off the bus which continued on to the big bus terminal, but we had to change to a sawng tauw to take us to Happy Land, which was only 10 minutes away.

To be continued…

Stickman's thoughts:

It is interesting that you raise the issue of abuse at home. I, like many, have heard the rumours of this sort of carry on but I have absolutely no idea if this sort of thing happens or not. God hopes that it doesn't, or only in very rare cases.

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