Readers' Submissions

My Girl Does Not Fit The Pattern

  • Written by Wildrover
  • January 10th, 2007
  • 10 min read



I was advised to visit your site by the other posters on TSM. A very helpful, if somewhat candid bunch of guys. I have spent three days reading as much as I can of your readers' submissions and now I am really confused. You see, my girl does not fit “the pattern” – not at all. I am serious about her, but also scared shitless by what I read on your site and the advice from fellow mongers on TSM.

Here is my story, blow by blow, and I would welcome your, and / or your readers’ input. Question is – should I have her investigated?

I met A in Renoir on November 18th 2005, at about 10pm. She was with another guy (big fat, drunk English guy) and he had bar fined her so, through her friend I said I would come back tomorrow, because she was just beautiful – skinny, dark Isaan girl, captivating smile – the usual. I should point out here that I have been visiting Bangkok for about ten years, am slim, in reasonably good shape, and though greying at the temples can easily pass for 42 instead of my actual 50 years. So not wet behind the ears by any means.

I came back the next day at about 8:30pm and the place was busy, very busy, but A was waiting for me away from the crowd in a corner. I bar fined her straight away and we went to Vertigo on the Banyan Tree rooftop, one of my favourite places. I will never forget her telling me that she was “not very good at sex”. Yes, you are right – she was incredible, and still is to this day, over a year later. My usual habit is to have a good morning session, then say goodbye and go back for a different girl to a different spot next night. We ended up spending 3 days together and had a great time. She never asked me for money, and when it was time for me to go to China, she said “up to you” when I asked her how much I should give her. I tipped her generously – I always have as I can afford it. I said I would be back in Bangkok in a week and asked her if she would come to Phuket with me. She said yes, of course. I called her a couple of times from China and Manila, and she said she was at work and asked me did I go with any girls while I was away. The ultimate irony, I thought.

I found out later that while I was in China she went with another customer (she had to work after all), an Australian, for two nights and he was going to Jakarta for two nights then back to Bangkok, when he promised he would take her to Hua Hin. He didn’t take her, naturally (and good for me!!!), but came back to Renoir to bar fine her for his last night in Bangkok but she told him to piss off because he did not keep his promises. This story was actually true – word for word, as I also established later.

I got to Bangkok the next week and asked her if she was she ready to go, and she was, packed and waiting for me. We had an absolute ball in Phuket. We laughed, had dinner on the beach, toes in the sand, she did not want to go to discos or clubs – we went to the Irish pub and drank Guinness – she can take her Guinness. I’m Irish, by the way! I was going to Singapore and she told me her birthday was next week, so I asked if she would like to come to Bali with me for her birthday. We booked the tickets and off we went.

She opened up and told me that the past love of her life (married guy, Swiss, boyfriend for three years) had been supporting her for two years then lost his job but she stayed faithful to him for another year, as far as he was concerned. In reality this meant that she was back in the bars working but told him she was staying at home. When he came to Bangkok he treated her real well – kept her locked up in his room at the Conrad and would only let her out to the disco in All Seasons, where nobody would see them. She cried on her birthday and said that nobody had ever shown her any respect or taken her away and treated her like a woman. Her parents had both died three and four years, respectively, ago. We went to a lovely old Hindu temple (she is Hindu as well as Buddhist) in the pissing rain on her 29th birthday.

After two weeks together I told her I didn’t want her to go back to work in the bars. I was still cautious, because she had many stories about her previous Farang boyfriends. She said she had never been with a Thai boyfriend since she was 16. I asked her how much she needed to stay out of the bars and she would not answer. I asked if BHT15,000 would be enough (my first time at this!). She said yes, but when I pushed a bit about her actual living costs I figured this would just cover the basics, so settled on BHT25,000 per month. Later, after about another three months, she told me her previous BF was giving her 60,000 a month. My silent reaction was – “sucker”, but then I did the numbers and figured that if she worked 20 nights a month and did customers 15 nights a month, and got a reasonable THB2,500 a night she could easily have made this much when you added in the drink commissions from the bar. However, she was still happy with BHT25,000 (and still is to this day) and has never asked me for more.

I should also point out that I come to Bangkok every second month for about a month at a time, on business.

I know that she worked for five nights after she came back from Bali, because she admitted this when I asked her. I actually believe her when she says she has not worked since, mainly because I call her on Skype at home every night at about 10pm-11pm her time. Also because I had her followed by a private detective for a week. This was disastrous as on the only night when she ran out of her room immediately after finishing her telephone conversation with me, and got into a red Toyota with a Thai man (running commentary provided by detective while in hot pursuit), it turned out to be a girl who lives two doors down from her, and who resembles her. I did not find this out until after I had lost it with her on the phone the next day and accused her of being out shagging! Not very happy with the PI, I can tell you.

I have been to her home in Buriram three times now and have been treated with the utmost respect, have had great fun with her family, despite not being able to speak Thai (but I have started learning and am reading everything I can about Thai culture). She has inherited her father’s land which is rented to a rice farmer. She has a very nice brother who lives with his wife and child in the house that A built with the proceeds of working on her back. She also has a sister who lives in Amsterdam with her Dutch husband, and they have just had a baby.

I asked her to come to Ireland to meet my two boys (7 & 5 years old), which she did this summer, spending nearly four months with us. It was great. She met my family (big Irish family!!) and celebrated my 50th birthday with us in Dublin. She had long since given me her old mobile number, which I now use as my business number in Asia, and I have told all her old customers (about four called/texted in the nine months since I took the number) that she is off the market.

We went to visit her sister in Holland when she came to Ireland for the summer and we went to Paris and Brussels. She had been to Europe twice before, once for her sister’s wedding and once to see an old (BG) friend in Switzerland – no, not the BF. She tried to see him but he would not take her calls when he realised she was in Switzerland.

She has never asked me for huge amounts of money in the year I have known her. I gave her a credit card (€500 limit) and she has never used it without first asking permission. I have loaned her money for her brother to buy rice for the farm, BHT50,000 on two occasions, and she has paid me back early on both occasions.

She always answers her phone within three rings. I encourage her to go out with her non-BG friends, two nice girls, both married to Thai men. They occasionally go to Hard Rock and buy a bottle of whisky, again on the card but only when she asks me. She always calls me when she is home after a night out. I sometimes check and call her back on Skype to make sure she is calling from home – she has never failed to pick up the Skype call. (The odd time when we argue, she has asked me why I do not find a nice girl who has not worked as a prostitute, and she thinks I am too good for her!)

She wants a baby and wants to go off the pill. When I first met her she would only have sex with a condom. It took four months before she would agree to have sex without a condom. She says she loves me as I have also told her I do. We are discussing buying a condo together in Bangkok. I will retire to Thailand and will also buy a condo in Hua Hin for my retirement.

Here now is the dilemma. I have read all the stories, promised myself it would never happen to me. When it did I have spent a year being patient, checking out her stories (where possible) and have found out some stuff she does not know that I know. I can honestly say that I have never caught her out in a lie. I believe she has not worked a single day since December 18th. 2005. I have had free run of her room on the couple of occasions I have stayed there and she has never tried to hide anything from me. We normally stay in a serviced apartment for the moth when I come to Bangkok, hence my desire to now buy a condo. I have seen a nice condo (130sq.m) in Bang Na for about 3m, and will need to spend about another 1m to furnish it properly.

Am I just lucky, or is this truly the most patient scam artist I have ever come across? The sob stories scare me, which is why I am writing this to you. I am genuinely confused. I would welcome your opinion on my experiences so far. Please also feel free to post this as a reader submission and use the handle wildrover. I can be contacted on [email protected] and again I would welcome opinions, genuine ones.

Finally, do you think I should have her checked outand, if so, what can you offer me by way of an investigation?

The site is fantastic – keep up the good work. You are truly providing a service that is worthwhile.

Stickman's thoughts:

This lady is a bit older, 29, so she is more likely to be ready to settle down than someone younger. She answers the phone whenever you call – that is a biggy. Failure to answer the phone for long periods of time, especially periods greater than 24 hours is a massive red flag.

If you are really concerned, you could get surveillance done on her, but that is not an exact science. From the sound of it she has most likely left the bar scene, so any check would be to verify the existence of boyfriends outside of the bar scene. Due to the sporadic nature of travels by many Western guys to and from Thailand, this can be more difficult to determine.

But overall, it sounds like she is on the straight and narrow.