Stickman Readers' Submissions January 24th, 2007

Honey And Ol’ Prinz Part 1

Two months ago I was a different man. I am 35, Swiss, good-looking, fun loving and completely overpaid (lawyer in a Russian oil company). As much as I am a caring dad, I love to party, take coke and go on 24 hour benders with mainly Latina
beauties whilst I am on business trips. I live in the financial capital of Switzerland right by the lake, have a long term English (Jamaican) girlfriend for 12 years and a one year old daughter. When I come home from work, my girlfriend frequently
shows me houses to buy for the bargain price of CHF 3 million and asks me in which French castle we are going to get married this year finally. My typical short break would be to fly for the weekend to Cartagena and party with Latinas. Two months
ago only the sound of broken Thai English would drive me crazy and I smiled at those TV-reports showing beer and go-go bars in Thailand.

I had countless affairs with bargirls mainly in Russia and South America. I am always generous and respectful to every working girl but I never ever really cared for them the next morning, took phone numbers or even went back to a certain
girl some other time. I just enjoyed the fun and their company for one night and that was it. I used to be the guy who never calls.

So why am I receiving every day now an average of 40 SMS from Thailand, speak three times a day on the phone to her, discuss rural house designs and seriously considering a visit to some remote Thai village near Sakhon Nakon?

He Clinic Bangkok

Here's my story. Before I start, let me tell you that I really do not need any smart ass advice. I am not one of those guys who is so happy if they only pay Thai prices and offer a TBG 1000 baht for a night. I am absolutely not gullible, not interested
at all what my new honey did before November 2006 in her life nor are the large sums of money I sent since November 2006 of any relevance to me.

The reason why I travelled the first time to South East Asia was to get away from it all (mainly the drugs) and just relax for 10 days. That's why I thought there is no better place for that than visiting a Swiss friend in Singapore
who always went on about how great it is in SEA and how lovely the girls are.

I arrived early morning at his penthouse in Singapore and the door was opened by two Vietnamese cuties he met in a KTV bar that night. He told me that he booked a flight for us early the next morning to go to Phuket. It would certainly cheer
me up… (Phuket is portrayed in Switzerland as a real family holiday destination, I truly had no idea what was to come). We boarded the plane straight from a heavy KTV singing session and headed for the Impiana in Patong. I was impressed by the
hotel and the friendliness of the staff but slightly surprised when the receptionist informed me that there would be a joiner fee of THB 1,000….("Do I look like a bloody sex tourist?" I was thinking).

CBD bangkok

After a day at the pool and numerous Gin Tonics my friend took me on his tour… My mate has been to Patong at least ten times and introduced me to several of his "girlfriends". He truly deserved to be called "butterfly"
by the girls. Such introductions took place at nearly every second bar in every side street of Bangla Road and included several times a round of drinks for all the girls. Everywhere we went we were the main attraction as we are both trendy guys
and were really generous to all the bargirls and living it large. Even though I had fun chatting to them and playing pool in Dragon I resisted every single "offer" to barfine any of them. It would have been a different story with certain
party drugs but with countless Gin Tonics in my blood I just did not feel that horny at all. By the time we reached "Rock Hard" I was completely shit-faced but spirits were still high, impossible though to recognize those little number
plates on the bikinis. And there she was! She looked different from all the girls from Isaan (to protect her and myself from any story I don't want to hear I will not describe her). It certainly was no love at first sight for me, I just wanted
to barfine a girl to have an excuse to go to the hotel, get laid and then finally go to sleep as due to my jet lag I could not manage any more drinks.

Honey's English was really basic and her pronunciation of the few words / sentences she knew made conversation hard, but also fun. Back at the hotel, I do not want to bore you with details, strange things happened to me. She really had
the magic touch. I felt like a 21 year old again back in my student years in Barcelona when I had the time of my life. Everything was perfect. We shared a magic eight hours! We did not sleep at all that night. I completely forgot that I was actually
a paying customer. I felt very embarrassed to take my wallet in the morning and offer her money. I had no idea how much to give and gave her THB 6,000, however, I think she deserved far more than that but it was all the cash I had that morning.
She asked me for a T-Shirt to wear home as she was embarrassed to walk home in her sexy dress. I gave her a white T-shirt with the writing "Hustler, hardcore since 1974" to wear home. She obviously did not understand but the joke was
perfect when she walked past my mate in my T-shirt in the lobby. Before she left she told me that she usually does not stay "long time" and she did not like it if guys touch her. I told her I would be back at her bar that night (I did
not know then that I should have already given her then the barfine if I did not want her to go to "work").

After breakfast I went to the pool and tried to get some work done on my laptop. I could not write the most basic work email as I could not stop thinking of Honey. I was talking about her for hours and hours. It was not the pure sex which
fascinated me, it was more her feminine ways. Having said that, there must have been something else. Anyway, I still have not figured it out but I knew already that afternoon that I had fallen in love. I was laughing about myself and so was my
friend. I said I will not allow this to happen and I am not going to Rock Hard again that night….but I did and from then she moved into my hotel room for the next seven days until I left Phuket. I had the time of my life, getting stoned, played
pool in the afternoon, going out at night and making love again and again. My craving for class A drugs was gone too. Only Honey was on my mind.

On the last night I could not sleep. She was crying before because she was upset that I had to leave. In the middle of the night I stepped out on the terrace, smoked a cigarette and tears come rolling down my cheeks. For Christ's sake,
what did I do? I had been in control all my life and achieved everything I wanted, was earning a fortune and now I was crying because of a 26 year old gogo girl. Had the mid-life crisis been triggered or maybe even ended now? I knew I loved her
and I did not want her to go back to "work". You might think here comes the white knight in his shining armour on a rescue mission. No. I asked her what she wanted in life? I do not want to change people. She said she wanted to go back
home, build a house for her mother and take jewellery classes in Bangkok. After I learnt that such house and all the costs involved only amounts to a fraction of my monthly salary I knew that I was going to send her the money as a surprise when
I was back in Switzerland. No strings attached, for all I cared she could have also partied with her friends with such money. I had the best time of my life since I was 21 and wanted her to feel good about this too. Before I left, I gave her THB
60,000 and told her to take a holiday or see her mother, or whatever she preferred.

wonderland clinic

Back home in Switzerland I felt more than confused but had to play the happy returning partner who missed his family. (BTW, I told Honey I had a girlfriend and a daughter in Switzerland but that the relationship is on the rocks.). Luckily
on my way home I stopped again at a KTV in Singapore (opposite Orchid Towers) and the mamasan gave me a life saving treatment against love bites.

Already the first day back home (Sunday) I was flooded by SMS and I had to put my mobile on silent. Monday morning I phoned her back. There was background noise of chickens and other animals and she put her mum on the phone for me who thanked me for bringing
her daughter back, at least that was the translation of Honey. She said she gave her notice at Rock Hard and she wanted to be my girlfriend… She did not mention money and I had her story checked by friends of mine who were looking for her in
Rock Hard. Also she answers her phone any time of the day and night within seconds. She was gone to Isaan. She did not mention money once but said she wanted to see me soon again. She did not have a clue about Western Union and had no bank account
so it took quite a while until I could send her the money I wanted to. I sent THB 200,000 (Guys I know what you think now, but again, I do not care).

At the same time my partner told me she would take my daughter to see her family in London in mid-December for a week. I phoned up Honey and told her to go to the Swiss Embassy for a tourist visa to Switzerland. I already saw us having fun
in a quiet mountain resort in the Swiss Alps for four days. Unfortunately and even though I gave a guarantee and reserved her flight ticket to Zurich, she messed up the interview in Bangkok at the embassy and no visa was granted. I could not fly
there only four weeks after my so-called boys' holidays. My partner would have known straight away. As I spend a lot of time in Moscow on business I had the idea of a fake business trip! But there was only 10 days left for preparing. I pulled
every string in Moscow and the visa invitation arrived by DHL in Bangkok one day before her flight departed to visit me in Moscow and my alibi was the best ever. Who on earth would fly a Thai to Moscow? Of course I could not use our company driver
in Moscow but had to hire a driver through our Russian bodyguard which we use also when we go to certain nightclubs. He knows me and could not believe that I flew a Thai girl to Moscow as there are thousands of Russian beauties. I could not answer
that question.

Part II about "Thai Honey in Moscow" to follow!

Stickman's thoughts:

Wow, great story. I can't wait to hear how it goes in Russia.

nana plaza