The Way I Look At It
I have been reading your site for over a year and I'd like to share MY view.
I'm a Thai girl married to an American and have been living in the US for over 6 years. I also lived in England for almost a year. My English is not perfect, especially grammar so I apologize in advance as you might stumble into some of my odd English.
Anyway, moving here wasn't really my first option but it made more sense then my husband moving to Thailand (financial wise). I can't say that I love it here. The lifestyle is so much different than back home, I live in the Southwest part of United States and apparently everybody drove here! There is drive thru everywhere…every fast food restaurant like McDonald, Burger King, you can also drive thru to Starbucks or pick up your dry-cleaning. Nobody walks in this town, although, it would take forever to walk two blocks, especially for us Thais since we walk so slow. People are still amazed 'til this day that I have lived here for 6 years and still don't drive.
Back to my topic. My job involves travel. I can't tell you how many times I've been asked if I have a sister. Also, the endless stories about single guys going to Thailand, met girls, falling in love. There was one guy that I remember; he was in his mid 40's, must have a good paying job because he always travels in business class. I chat with him once in a while about his Thailand trip. I asked him where he usually stays in Bangkok, he said Nana Hotel. Well, that explains it!
And then one day…
Me: So, how was your last trip?
Dude: Oh! I love it; it's so much fun. And guess what?
Dude: I got married (with big smile on his face!)
Me: To whom?
Dude: Oh, some girl I met at the bar on Soi Nana…
Me: You kidding right …?!
Then, he shows a picture of her, she has a huge tattoo on her arm, not a trendy tattoo but the other kind of tattoo. I can tell that she's trouble. Later on that month he came back and asked me for some help with translation. He bought this corny card and wanted me to translate. He also told me that they applied for a visa for her to come to the US but the embassy might not approve her visa because she was arrested once before. According to him, she was in the wrong place at the wrong time. The thing is; this guy has good job, he has money but yet he chooses to get involved with bar girls, he even goes further to marry her. What I don't understand is that, how is this relationship going to work if they can't even communicate to each other? Well, good luck to him because he will need it!
I recently had a conversation with a male business associate (in his late 40's). We were talking about the coup, Thailand. Then he said, he would like to marry an Asian woman so that she can cook & clean and be ready for him in bed. He was (half) kidding but my female American college was a little offended by it. She thought he was kind of rude and insensitive. I thought he was honest. Isn't that what man really wanted? (That first guy married the tattooed lady and he doesn't even care if they can understand each other or not). Do men really think they can get away with this kind of relationship and live happily ever after? I don't know but I do think BOTH parties need to WORK in a relationship in order for it to succeed…I mean ANY relationship not just Thai & Farang but here are some thoughts that I think is important for Farang guys to consider before bringing your girlfriend / wife to Farangland to live.
– She needs to speak English, basic English would be good then she can improve her English by living in Farangland
– Does she likes Farang food? You all know food is very important to us so if she likes Farang food then most likely she will adapt well with Farang food in Farangland but if she doesn't then you should research some Asian market or Thai restaurants around your neighborhood. Take it from me; I like all kinds of food but I still miss REAL Thai food…street food.
– Can she get a job in your country? This depends on the person. I personally like to go to work. I would bore if I have to stay home and do housewife stuff but some girls would be happy to stay home and do that.
– How often can you afford a trip back in Thailand? We go back every 2 years but every year would be my wish.
– Are you ready to support her family if needed?
Last but not least; don't be fooling yourself and think that she loves you when you're 60 and she's 19. I am sick of hearing or reading stories about guys who get scammed by young bar girls. If you let a girl (who is half of time you don't understand her) manipulate you and take your money then that's really YOUR problem. Also, stop blaming or thinking that it only happens in Thailand and nowhere else.
Have you heard of Anna Nicole Smith?