Readers' Submissions

The Chronicles of Foster Foskin’s Adventures in Thailand #7

  • Written by Marc Holt
  • December 14th, 2006
  • 10 min read



We got lucky this time. Roland flagged down a free airconditioned bus ter take us to the soapie. We settled into the comfort to enjoy a ride through downtown Pattaya. I was sittin’ next to a fat German joker who thought he could speak English.

“Vhere you koing?” he gargled.

“Er, g’day mate. I’m goin’ fer a soapie. Have yer ever had one of them?”

“Ach gargle gargle….. I to not understand. Vere you vrom?”

“What do yer mean, yer bloody galah? Don’t you understand Strine, mate, from good old godzone?”

He hissed and gargled again, “Vass zat joo sssay? You gum vrom Koodolkodzone?”

“Yeah, mate, that’s right. Glad yer understand English.”

Jeez, no wonder everyone went ter war against them Krauts in me dad’s day. They were probably saying ‘I love you’ and the whole world thought they were saying, ‘I’ll off you’.

It was only a short ride to our stop so Roley, Bluey and me jumped off the bus, leaving our Kraut mate to continue his journey in confusion. After my linguinistic expectorations with him I thought a bit of soap in the mouth might be in order, so this soapy place could be just what the doctor ordered. But as it turned out I didn’t eat the soap. Read on to see what I mean, heh, heh.

We were standing outside a white building that looked a bit like a Greek temple. Now, I’m not into things Greek, so I cocked an eye, so ter speak, at Roley and said, “I hope yer takin’ us to a place full of sheilas, mate. I don’t want any of that ass-backwards hokey pokery, yer know?

“Don’t worry, mate. You’ll pop your fly buttons, when we get inside.

So we all trooped in through the door into a big room with a bar runnin’ down one side. But it was what was opposite the bar that got me goin’. Jeez, there must have been 50 sheilas sittin’ behind a long glass window. Now, I’d seen the sheilas around Pattaya, and these were nothin’ like them.

Yer average Pattaya bird is short, snub-nosed, and almost as dark as a Lubra, you know, the Abbo girls from Aussie. But these sheilas had white skin and they were dressed in long evenin’ gowns in various hues. But what I really liked was the long legs stretchin’ up to their armpits. I was hooked.

“So, what do all these beaut lookin’ sheilas do then Roley, apart from sit behind the window and smile? I hadn’t taken me eyes off the sheilas as I spoke and I noticed one stunnin’ looking bird pointing to her equally beautiful lookin’ mate, then back at herself with eyes almost as wide as her boobs.

Was she offering a two-fer-one package? Oh yeah, I was definitely in for whatever was on offer here. But priorities first.

We sat down on a comfortable sofa in front of the glass window and ordered three Chang beers. I tell yer mates, that brew is worth makin’ any Sheila wait. I’ve always liked me Toohey’s Pilsner back home, but this Chang beer was even better than that. It has a strong malty flavour that settles comfortably. Chilled ter perfection, slightly above freezing point, there’s nothin’ like it fer getting’ a man in the right mood.

Once we’d taken a few satisfying chugs we started what must be the best matin’ dance in the world. As me eyes swept the smorgasbord of sheilas I was struck by how many of them fit me specs. Mind you, my taste runs to a good lookin’ face, big tits, and long legs, so I’m not too hard ter please. Well, I tell yer mateys, probably 80% of these sheilas fit me profile.

“So, Rolley, what’s this all about then, mate? We’re ensconced in sybaritic comfort here, ogling the best lookin’ bunch of sheilas in town, with a coldie in hand. Now what?”

“Yer still haven’t figured it out yet, Fos? This is just the preliminaries. You choose the Sheila you want and invite her out to sit fer a beer. If you find she’s not to your taste you can always send her back and ask for another one.”

“Yeah, that sounds good, but what happens after I’ve made me pick? I might be half Irish mate, but I don’t wanna get confused when yer line up three shovels and tell me ter take me pick.”

“Well, when you are ready she’ll take you to one of the rooms upstairs and give you the best massage you’ll ever have.”

“What if I want two girls? Is that ok?”

“You can have whatever you want in this country, mate, as long as you are ready to pay for it.”

Right. That was it. I was up fer this.

I looked back at the two sheilas who obviously came as a pair, pardon the pun, and told the weasly little Thai bloke hoverin’ over us ter call them over.

He points at the two of them and gestures for them to come on out. The look on their faces was a treat for sore eyes. They looked real eager. When they stood up I knew I’d made the right choice. They was both tall, long-legged, and sultry lookin’ in them slinky gowns. I noticed that they were more than a bit see-through too, and what I saw was definitely worth lookin’ at. Yeah! This was goin’ to be fun.

The girls came out and introduced themselves and settled down next to me. I ordered a beer for each of them and we started ter get to know each other. One was called Nit and the other was Noi, so I had me own Nitnoi sheilas.

Bluey and Roland took their time choosin’ theirs, so we had plenty of time to slug back a few more beers and have some laughs together. They didn’t speak much English, but sign language has always been one of me strong points. A sheila only has to put her hands in the right positions to sign that she’s interested and I get the picture real quick.

Finally, me mates chose a sheila each and we all got up to head to the rooms. The girls slipped away and came back a couple of minutes later armed with a basket of assorted soaps, shampoos and washing tools.

We walked down a long corridor lined with doors on either side and me mates peeled off into a room each along the way. Finally, my girls led me into a big room with a double bed near the front, and a huge bathroom at the back. I’d no sooner stepped into the room than Nid pushed me down onto the bed. Noi kept goin’ and started to run a bath.

Nid was all over me like a rash and things were getting interesting very fast. I was just about to suggest that we invite Noi over to join the fun when Nid stood up. “We take off clothes now and take a bath.”

That sounded like a good idea so I stood up. Nid moved in and and started strippin off me clobber. Then Noi came over and started helping Nid undress, and I joined in the fun, throwing shirts, panties and bras orf both of them feverishly.

Well, we all piles into the bath and starts splashin’ around. I was havin’ more fun than I’ve had since I was a little nipper. But back then me Mum was bathin’ me and I was only playin’ with a rubber ducky. This time I had two luscious beauties takin’ care of me ablutions. They soaped, scrubbed, and lathered me up a treat. One of them even found me rubber ducky under the water and brought him up for a breath. She must have liked the taste of soap, because she swallowed him without any qualms. Lucky I’m a man of infinite control.

About 15 minutes into the fun, Nid jumps out of the bath, grabs a towel around her and rushes out of the room. She comes back a moment later with an inflatable plastic bed, what we call a Lilo back ‘ome (‘lai-low’ fer you Yanks who have trouble readin’ English). She throws it down on the tiled floor and starts frothing up a large bowl of water. Then she splashes the soapy foam all over the lilo and Noi tells me to go and lie down on it.

This was lookin’ definitely interestin’ so I lay down on me stomach. The next thing I know the two of them are slidin’ all over me body, wrappin’ their legs around mine and slip-slidin’ up and down. One of them sat on top and started slidin all over me bum and back. There was the occasional slightly rough brush of her pubes, givin’ the whole experience an excitin’ change in texture, so to speak. What with the suds makin’ them slide all over the place, the plastic lilo slippin’ around under me, we were a writhing mass of soap bubbles and bodies. Then I was turned on me back and they repeated the process.

I tell yer, mates, if yer haven’t had a soapie yer just haven’t lived. It’s the most sensual experience yer’ll ever have.

Next, we all trooped back into the bath where we rinsed off after yet another relaxing massage. Finally, they pulled the plug. Then we stepped out of the bath, they toweled me down and pointed me to the bed. Talk about a hands-free bath!

This time it was Nid’s turn to take care of the bathroom, while Noi took her turn getting’ me more excited. We were writhing all over the place, and then she grabbed hold of me manhood. “Oooh! You very big.” She exclaimed.

Well, a bloke doesn’t want to boast, but I will tell yer that two sheilas rubbin’ themselves all over yer like that is bound to bring a man to his full potential. By now Noi had joined us on the bed so we all started making moves and havin’ the time of our lives. Bein’ a gentleman and a scholar I won’t go into the gory details. Suffice it to say that a good time was had by all, leavened by a couple of sucks on me old mate Chang.

It’s amazin’ how time flies when yer havin’ fun. All too soon there was a knock on the door and a voice sayin’ somethin’ in Thai like it was time to go.

I looked at the girls and they looked at me; all of us obviously disappointed. I was tempted to stay another two hours, but me mates were sure to be waitin’ outside. So here’s a bit of advice if yer haven’t been fer a soapie before. Don’t go with yer mates. Yer wants to leave yer options open in case yer get as lucky as I did. And just to make it interestin’, I’ll give yer the numbers for Nid and Noi – 101, and 69. But you’ll have to figure out which is which, and where they work. Happy huntin’ mates!

———————————————

Next, Foster plays golf and scores more in the rough than on the fairways….

Stickman's thoughts:

Foster has been a busy boy.