Readers' Submissions

Metamorphosis Part 2

  • Written by Akulka
  • December 20th, 2006
  • 40 min read


Vee came out of the shower, fully dressed. I excused myself and took a quick shower myself before sitting down on the bed with her and showing her my Thai language conversation study book that I had taken along on my trip. After we were done browsing through it for a few minutes I thought I would take this experiment a bit further, so I asked her if she was ready to pose “sexy and cute”, as we were in private now and nobody would be able to see. She laughed at this, and said she could, but she didn’t want to do it by herself, and I would have to join her. Now, this was starting to get interesting. I took out my camera, positioned it on my little tripod opposite of the bed, and asked her how to get started. That’s when she pulled me towards her and started kissing me.

Wow, my buddy Mike was right after all. Who would have guessed? Now, I have to say that she didn’t exactly jump at me right away, except for the kissing. She was shy at first, not so much anymore a bit later, but VERY hesitant about almost everything else that ensued. I didn’t exactly push her for more than just kissing. Eventually we slowly but steadily reached base after base together. That included a childish yet somehow enjoyably playful variety of the “I take this off but only if you take that off” game to a bit more annoying episode of “I’m too fat so I don’t want you to look or touch” nonsense. Oh boy, someone must have really messed with her in order for her to arrive at such a distorted perception of herself, as there really isn’t anything worth hiding about her body. From many things I could tell that she was not in the habit of doing this regularly. I had the feeling as if it was a novelty to her as much as it was to me. A bit later she told me she had had only two men in her life before me, both Thai, both in relationships, and hadn’t been intimate with anybody for two years already. I tend to believe her, but even if she lied, who cares…

Along the way she even asked me to teach her how to “do things properly”, and I could tell she wasn’t just teasing, but really wanted me to out of her own curiosity. She proved to be a very good student, and also very eager to please. It was perfect.

A bit later, the sun had already set over Bangkok outside; I couldn’t help but sending Mike a message, hinting what had happened between me and Vee. When I met him later that evening he almost squealed with glee over my adventure, and we had a good laugh about the dynamics of the whole situation.

Vee asked me if I felt like meeting up with her sister again, as the two of them had agreed to meet at Central Pinklao in the evening for dinner before taking the bus back home to Nakhom Pathom together. I wouldn’t have felt decent if I had just told her no after just having slept with her, and anyway I didn’t have any other plans, so I agreed to come along. While in the taxi I received the phone call from Nok that I had been expecting throughout the day. As I was with Vee and without a chance to have an undisturbed talk to Nok, I didn’t pick up but replied by text message that I was just not available to speak and would call her back in 30 minutes. At Central Pinklao I sent Vee ahead to the restaurant and asked her to order for me, while I excused myself for making my phone call to Nok. Much more so than just 24 hours before, I felt very indifferent about what Nok would tell me and talk to me about now in our first actual conversation since I cut ties with her over six months ago, which undeniably had a lot to do with the experiences of the past afternoon. I was surprisingly calm.

My talk to her was less than spectacular. It lasted less than five minutes. What it came down to was that I asked her again if she thought she had time for seeing me some time on the next weekend, maybe Sunday night for having dinner. She told me she couldn’t say as she might travel home to Chiang Mai for father’s day, but promised she would let me know by text message within the next two days. I told her that’s fine and in case she wouldn’t be in Bangkok the following weekend, I’d appreciate if she at least called me before I went back home. She said of course she would.

Vee, her sister, her “best friend” and I had dinner together. I don’t want to bore you going so much into detail with my story now, but there was one little episode while we were having dinner that I found rather strange, but in an amusing way. Half way through dinner I excused myself for going to the toilet to take a leak. As I got up from the table, Vee got up too and told me she would give me company. I looked at her a bit incredulously, and attempted to clarify by asking: “You need to use the bathroom too then?”

She answered: “No, of course not, I just give you company”. Hmmm….now that was a first. Unsure of what to make of this we headed in direction to the toilets, where in front of the gent’s bathroom she waved me goodbye and took out her mobile to play with it while she was waiting for me to return. When I walked out again a couple of minutes later, there she was standing, welcoming me with a bright smile, ready to escort me back to the table. Now, she really knows how to take care of “her man”, but honestly I didn’t think I’d want her to escort me to the toilet every time I felt the need in the future.

After dinner we said our goodbyes and Vee and her sister headed back home to Nakhon Pathom. She asked me if we would meet again, to which I replied yes of course we could, but only under the one condition that she wouldn’t start liking me too much. I wasn’t sure if I was more worried about her developing feelings for me, or the guilt that I’d feel as a result of it. The last year has taught me how a broken heart really feels like. Whereas I doubt that Vee could develop as strong feelings as I had developed for Nok in this short timeframe of knowing me, I didn’t want to put her in a position of even getting close. She told me it would be okay, and asked me if I would mind if she escorted me to the airport the following day. I told her that would be great, but asked her if she really wanted to sit on the bus to get to Bangkok for two hours again just for seeing me off. She said of course, and that wouldn’t be a problem. She would be at my hotel at around 9am, and then escort me to the airport at around 11am. Given the fact that I would have probably not done much else than going for a walk in the morning or relaxing by the pool before heading to the airport for my 1.30pm flight to Penang, I didn’t mind her proposal at all.

So the next morning that girl really got up at 5am, cleaned the whole house as she routinely does everyday, left Nakhon Pathom at 6.30am to arrive to my hotel at 9am. Well, what can I tell you except that we found a mutually pleasurable way to pass the two hours until I had to leave for the airport?

My flight proved to be delayed, so we still had time for lunch together, and she introduced me to a friend of hers who works at the airport. He didn’t have much time, but Vee used the opportunity for proudly proclaiming that given her English language skills she could easily land the same job he holds with the same excellent earning potential of 15800 Baht per month, yet didn’t apply, again because of the distance of the new airport to her home in Nakhon Pathom.

Before saying our goodbyes, Vee asked me if I would have time for her when I returned from Malaysia in six days. I told her that yes, probably I would, but I couldn’t promise her as I would have to meet some other people I had agreed and wanted to get together with. Clearly, Nok was on my mind telling her this. Also, I didn’t want to pin myself down and reduce my options by given premature promises that I possibly wouldn’t be able to keep. So I promised her that I would try my best, and would let her know by text message from Malaysia. She said she was okay with that.

She also asked me if I would consider visiting her and her family in Nakhon Pathom, if not during this trip, then maybe during my next trip in late January. Now, this question came as a huge surprise to me. Granted, she had told me before how her mum really likes farangs (the alarm bells in my head were deafening when I heard that) and thought I looked so nice and friendly on the photos that she wanted to meet me in person and cook for me. Vee’s eyes always lit up when she talked about her mum’s cooking. “I like eat” she repeatedly emphasized. Yeah, my girl loves her food.

While Vee was swarming about her mum’s magic in the kitchen, all I could only think of was what her mum the butcher would do to me if she found out what I had been up to with her eldest daughter. When I shared my thoughts with my buddy Mike on the phone a few minutes later, he commented under laughter that she would probably fetch her biggest butchering knife and chop off my strudel. Ouch…

So I left for my three nights on Penang, and two nights on Langkawi trip to Malaysia, to return to Bangkok for another night the following Sunday. I will not bore you with too many details about my trip there. However, I did go through a few experiences down there that I would like to share with you.

First of all, Penang precedes the reputation of having some of the best cuisine in all of Asia, and I must wholeheartedly agree to that. In the few days of staying in the island’s capital Georgetown, I had some of the best Chinese and Indian food I have ever had, and dirt cheap too. One night I had so much excellent Dim Sum for dinner that I almost got sick later in the middle of the night.

Georgetown at night I thought was a rather unappealing and in some areas quite seedy place. On my first night there I was stalked by two hookers all the way to the place where I was staying, the historic and magnificently beautiful Cheong Fatt Zee, or Blue Mansion, who kept yelling obscenities at me while pointing between their legs and discounting the prices they would do me for.

On another occasion I was leisurely strolling down a dark street on my way to the biggest shopping center of Georgetown, when a Chinese hag of around 50 years shot me a far less than perfect smile from the corner of a back road. When I smiled back in kind, she replied by gesturing what I could only interpret as the offer to jerk me off, while making smacking noises with her mouth and finally yelling after me “I sucki sucki you goooood Mister”!

Nice! Okay, lesson learned! No more friendly smiles at ugly Chinese women in dark alleyways. Welcome to Malaysia. I wouldn’t have expected this from a predominantly Muslim nation.

Last but not least there was “Julia and her gang”. Three girls in a Honda stopped me in my tracks by whistling at me, again, as I was just leisurely strolling down Georgetown’s Leibuh Chulia main street on the way back to my hotel. Having been in an adventurous mood, I decided not to just ignore them but walk up to them and ask what mischief they had on their minds. Two of the three chicks were actually rather pretty, even though it was difficult to get a good look at them as they were sitting in the car and it was late in the evening. They did their best at flirting with me, and then offered to take me for a ride to Penang Hill to catch views of the city at night. Of course I never even considered for a second to actually accept their offer, and explained in very clear words that I would certainly not get into a car with three strangers in the middle of the night in a place I was not familiar with. Finally I managed to shake them off by telling them I’d call them when I got back from Langkawi. Julia, the girl behind the wheel who had done most of the talking, wrote down her phone number on a piece of paper and handed it over to me. Then they drove off into the night, all three of them throwing me kisses. I never had the intention of actually calling them. Something was very fishy about all of this, but at that point I couldn’t tell for certain what exactly it was.

Back at the Blue Mansion I asked the extremely friendly and helpful concierge who also happened to be very gay if he had an idea what those girls had been up to in his opinion. He started laughing out loud, then grinned at me and asked: “So you thought they were girls, didn’t you?”

Uh oh…

He told me they were chicks with dicks (his words), and with almost guaranteed certainty they would have dragged me down some quiet back road, taken my money, attempted to rape me, and finally dropped me in the jungle or into the sea. When I told him that anyway I had at no time considered accepting their offer, he teasingly replied: “You know, you gotta try everything at least once. Or so people say!” To that I replied “Sure, go ahead my friend!” which made him laugh again before he gaily hovered out of the room.

Incredulous that I hadn’t spotted the three in the car were actually guys, I returned to my room and went to bed to get a good rest, as my ferry to Langkawi would leave early next morning.

Langkawi proved to be a very beautiful island with some extraordinarily beautiful beaches and scenery, even though I found it quite overdeveloped in many places. I hired a scooter and cruised the island during the three days of my stay there. I had treated myself to a great hotel, the Bon Ton Coconut Village on the Western part of the island, which has all the guest rooms in separate traditional Malaysian stilt houses scattered around the pool area.

Three days after having flown out of Bangkok Nok still hadn’t sent the promised text message whether or not she would be in town on the weekend. I didn’t feel like waiting any longer, and sent her a text myself, asking why she hadn’t given me notice yet. She replied saying that she was very sorry, but she wouldn’t be able to see me this time, and wishing me a good time in Asia. I felt upset at first, but calmed down again surprisingly soon. I decided to send Vee the message that I’d be back to Bangkok on Sunday at around lunchtime, and if she wanted she could meet me in the early afternoon. She replied she happily would, and even suggested she could stay overnight if I liked that. I replied I sure would, if she managed to find an excuse for her family. She replied that wouldn’t be a problem. Consequently I sent an email to the small boutique hotel I had made a reservation for my last night in Bangkok, announcing that despite my initial reservation request for just one person, I would have my girlfriend stay with me now for the night.

I relaxed the rest of the short time I had on Langkawi, explored the island, and treated myself to a nice massage at a nearby spa every day after dawn. The masseuse at the particular spa I went to was Thai, and again I could surprise somebody with my meager proficiency in speaking Thai. She was overjoyed and consequently practiced speaking with me throughout the whole massage sessions. Usually I prefer to relax and enjoy the massages in quiet, yet at those occasions it was just too much fun to engage in some light banter with her. In the end she even gave me a considerable discount.

A day later I was back on Penang for another two nights, this time residing in the famous Eastern and Oriental hotel. Friends of me had stayed there half a year ago and had recommended it to me, as they knew I have a penchant for colonial style hotels. Usually I don’t give a rat’s ass about staying at such fancy places, despite the fact that of course I do enjoy the nice amenities, yet for this trip I had decided to treat myself to some nice places I had been recommended by reliable sources. Also, I didn’t think 100€ per night for a suite with butler service in such a posh place was overpriced. Compared to the often very average hotels and roadside motels I had spent my nights in when traveling through Quebec and New England for two weeks a few months earlier, that charged not much less per night than what I ended up paying for at the Eastern and Oriental, I certainly didn’t have any reason to complain. It was excellent value for money and quite an experience too. However, I never seem to fit in so well in those kinds of upmarket establishments, particularly not when I’m traveling. I got my first disapproving looks already when I walked through the lobby to check in at the reception, dressed in shorts and t-shirt, and schlepping along my backpack. A few hours later I returned from a fun four hour drive on my hired scooter around the island, and walked straight into the business lounge to check my emails without bothering to go up to the room first to freshen up. I didn’t understand it back then, but when I asked the staff at the business center for a computer I could use, he glanced at me with a somewhat shocked expression on his face. I only learned why he had done so once I saw my face in the mirror after returning to my room a bit later. My face was covered with two prominent smears of dirt that somehow must have resulted from my handling of the scooter during the trip around the island.

Overall I must say I liked Penang a lot better during the day than during the night. There’s actually a lot to see, and I didn’t manage to take in all the things I wanted to. Too bad really. Anyway, I had a lot of fun cruising around the whole island and Georgetown on my scooter. In a way I thought it was ludicrous that there I drove around in the mad traffic, that also moved on the other side of the road than I’m used to driving, without a proper helmet and dressed only with a t-shirt and shorts, while at home I’d feel totally uncomfortable if I only took my motorbike around the block without wearing a good and solid helmet and at least some protective gear. Asia obviously has a way of messing with my sense of responsibility and my instinct of self preservation. And you know what? I thoroughly enjoyed it!

Before leaving I even ran into Julia and her chicks with dicks gang again. They complained bitterly that I hadn’t called them, to which I replied that I thought about it but then decided I actually do prefer my girls without dongs. At that, their attitude changed from seductively flirtatious to rather spiteful instantaneously, and they drove off with squeaking tires, but not without passing me some rather nasty comments before. As for me, I had a good laugh at the situation.

Sunday arrived, and I found myself on my way back to Bangkok. Nok had told me she wouldn’t see me and my friend Mike had taken his girlfriend to Koh Lipe for the weekend, so it seemed as if I would spend the remaining two days with Vee. I took a taxi to the Old Bangkok Inn, a very nice little boutique hotel close to Democracy Monument I had read about in Time magazine a few months earlier, and consequently had made a reservation for. The taxi driver had a lot of trouble finding it, but in the end we managed in a joint effort of reading maps and finally calling the place for final directions. From staying there one night, I can only recommend the Old Bangkok Inn. It’s a wonderful place, very friendly and private. The one major downside is that it is not near to either the MRT or the BTS, so if one doesn’t appreciate the proximity to many of the major tourist sights in Bangkok, but prefers to be closer to Sukumvit like me, it is not so ideal. That’s also the only reason why I will not stay there again next time. Another thing that worried me a bit about the place is that I couldn’t anticipate whether or not it would be a problem if I had Vee staying with me over night. I had changed the reservation to double occupancy, yet I was a bit worried about the reaction of the owners if I took a Thai girl up to the room now, especially as she wasn’t with me at check-in and I explained that I would pick her up later. In the end, it didn’t prove to be a problem at all, even though the young receptionist looked rather surprised when Vee finally showed up with only a small day bag, asking for the breakfast menu and a room key.

I met Vee at Victory Monument and we headed to Chatuchak market, as she was looking for a birthday present for one of her best friends. I didn’t have any other plans, so I didn’t mind her idea and immediately agreed to go. From the moment on we were in the taxi her hands were all over me, and I estimated it probably wouldn’t take long until we were back at the hotel eventually. She confessed to me that she had told her mum lies to stay with me that night. She expected her to go to Pattaya with her friend Lek.

Despite having had Vee around for only a few days altogether so far, I got a bit tired of some of her behavior throughout the afternoon, in particular her constant whining about how she was too fat. As obviously all sincere disclaiming from my side didn’t stop her, I thought I would try a different approach, and teased her that from then I would charge her a one baht penalty for every time she used the word fat while I was present. To my astonishment, that actually worked. The word still slipped out from time to time throughout our time together, but at a more tolerable frequency, and of course I never actually collected the penalty, even though I always teasingly threatened I would.

Something else I was surprised about was the fact that Vee took my hand in public. That’s something Nok had never done with me, and I didn’t think Vee would want to do it either for all the obvious reasons. I asked her about it, and she explained it would be okay as long as we didn’t kiss or hug, so it was fine with me as well.

As anticipated, we ended up back at the hotel before the sun set over the city, and the clothes were partly off before we even got to the room. Oh yes, I could tell she had acquired a taste for it now, and I certainly didn’t object. Even though she wouldn’t have turned my head on the street under normal circumstances, now as I had gotten closer to her I found her extremely seductive myself.

I had bought her a gift on Langkawi. A bracelet made of small but beautifully colored seashells that I had found in my resort’s little boutique. Her eyes got big and her face lit up again when she saw it. She was clearly surprised and overjoyed by receiving it. I felt embarrassed and humbled at the same time to have her light up the way she did, in the face of a three dollar bracelet that I bought in the boutique of my 150 dollar a night resort on Langkawi. I felt like a cheap bastard.

We left the hotel and walked the few hundreds meters to Khao San Road. She told me that she had never been there and wanted me to show her around. I thought it was a bit peculiar that I, the visiting farang, would show her around the city she had studied and worked in, but of course that was fine with me. I’m not a big fan of Khao San Road, so we only got ourselves a snack and then took a taxi to Sukumvit for dinner, where I treated her to a 1500 Baht worth of Sushi at Siam Discovery. I would have been in the mood for some more activities before heading to the hotel, but she didn’t feel like doing anything else and wanted to go back, which I didn’t really mind doing. Walking out of Siam Discovery we came past an open air bar with live music. The singer gave an impressively good performance of Sting’s “Fields of Gold”, which stopped Vee in her tracks. She told me she always listened to that song when she was feeling low as it has never failed to make her feel better. I noticed a single tear running down her left cheek while she was standing there next to me, waiting for the song to come to an end.

The Isaan taxi driver who took us back to the Old Bangkok Inn proved to be a rather brash fellow. Soon after Vee and I had gotten into the taxi and hit the road, he started looking back at us while repeatedly shouting lines at me like: "Yeeeah Mister, go hotel number oooone!!!" "Bangkok city girls number oooone!!!" "Good time number oooone!"

I don't think he knew a lot more English than that. I wonder who taught him that nonsense. At least he didn't seem to know any other words, as he kept repeating those lines like a broken record until we finally reached the hotel. Clearly he had drawn his own conclusions about the nature of my relationship to Vee very early. His driving was not the best or the safest either, so I was pretty relieved when we finally got out of the taxi unharmed and he sped off into the night, not without giving me two thumbs up and yelling one of his famous lines at me again for one last time. Crazy!

It would be Vee’s and my first and also our last night together. Again, it didn’t take long until we were busy with each other, yet this time it was different. Half-way through the warm-up phase she suddenly asked me if I had had another Thai girl before in my life. I am not sure why she posed that question to me, but clearly there was something on her mind she wanted to address. I didn’t feel like lying to her, so I told her about Nok. Just me admitting to the fact that no, Vee hadn’t been my first Thai girl, didn’t suffice to her. Now she wanted to know the whole story. I wasn’t exactly happy about sharing it in too much detail, so I just outlined the basic facts to her. She consequently said Nok was a very lucky girl to have a person like me care and invest so much into her. Then she admitted to me that the last time, when I had told her how she should just be very careful not to start liking me too much, as nothing would and could result from this romantic entanglement of ours, she had felt very sad. I remember my first thought at hearing that from her, which was: “Oh crap”!

In the next thirty minutes I tried my very best reasoning and resorted back to the full breadth of my rhetorical skills in order to console her and make her see why there couldn’t be anything serious between the two of us. Honestly, I didn’t have the impression as if she was trying to manipulate me into something, and I didn’t feel vulnerable to her emotional outburst as anyway my feelings for her didn’t extend beyond a strong physical attraction and a generally friendly sympathy. Fortunately, after about 30 minutes she recovered and was back to normal, and we followed up where we had stopped not too long before. After having had sex she told me she thought she had had her first orgasm in the process. I had noticed that she had experienced one, but of course didn’t have an idea that it might have been her first. Again, she might have fooled me telling me this, but for a multitude of reasons I didn’t think that was likely. Also, in the short time we had left together she seemed to be even more enthused about bed activities than before.

We went to sleep, holding each other tight like lovers do, except for the fact that we didn’t love each other in the original sense. However, in a way it felt like the perfect girlfriend experience to me. In the middle of the night, it must have been around three o’ clock, I awoke from feeling Vee’s hands moving up and down my body, and fiddling about with my more private parts. Obviously the new experience of the last evening hadn’t exhausted her sufficiently yet, and she wanted to give it another go. What can I say except that despite my initial surprise I didn’t resist.

My last day in Bangkok had come. I had been gone from home just a bit more than a week then, but to me that felt like I had been away for ages. We had breakfast together in the rather small reception area. The only other guests of the house at that time were an American couple, both aged around 50, who were sitting at a table not far from me and Vee. While trying to keep a low profile having breakfast with Vee, I couldn’t help noticing the couple’s curious glances into our direction. I didn’t exactly feel very comfortable with this, so I decided to stare back at them for a moment so they would mind their own business again. The woman passed me a look that I could only interpret as disapprovingly disgusted, whereas the man had a rather neutral expression. For a moment I thought I could notice a bit of a benign twinkle in his eyes. I believe he felt more sympathy for me and Vee than his condescending whale of a wife did. I decided to ignore both of them, and soon thereafter Vee and I were back in the room. And yes, I did take pity on her and let her jump me once more. I could imagine worse than having a sexy and insatiable Thai girl in my room with me. Only, this time something went wrong.

I’m in the habit of always checking the used condoms carefully after having had sex, and usually do this by filling them up with water in order to be better able to identify possible damage to their structure. If I hadn’t done it also that time, I would have never notice the tiny hole in the reservoir through which the water was now leaking under pressure in an almost unnoticeable fountain. For the second time within 24 hours, I thought: “Oh crap!”

Only this time I didn’t only think it, I also said it out loud. I wasn’t happy with this at all. How would Vee react to this? What would she say? How difficult would it be to make her take the morning-after pill now? And anyway, why do these things always have to happen to me? I walked out to Vee, sat down on the bed next to her, told her there is a problem, and showed her the leak. Fortunately, Vee was quite at ease with it, even though she wasn’t happy. She immediately said it would be okay, she will go get the morning-after pill and take it. I was relieved at her proposal. I felt sorry that she had to take that hormone bomb now, but really we didn’t have much of a choice if we didn’t want to risk anything.

So we took a taxi to MBK where we bought “Postinol”, and she took the first of the two tablets right away and in front of me. She admitted to having taken it once before in her life, when she was in the four years lasting relationship with her first boyfriend.

Vee didn’t have the time to stay with me until the evening that day, as she had promised her mum to be back home in Nakhon Pathom in the late afternoon. We decided we would go to see a movie at Siam Paragorn. I had heard so much about those special cinemas with the extra plush seats and food service that I really wanted to check them out. We checked at the cinema what show we could see, and unfortunately had to find out that we wouldn’t be able to make it to either one of them in time, as I had agreed to meet up with Casanundra for lunch at 1pm in front of the shopping center. All the shows started at 1.30pm, and the later ones would end to late in the afternoon for Vee to arrive back home at the promised time. I asked Vee to spend some time with herself or visit her friend Lek again while I was meeting up for lunch, and she scurried away without protesting, asking me to call her after finishing my lunch appointment.

I headed down to the arranged meeting point to wait for Casanundra to show up, which he never did, despite having confirmed the meeting on the phone just 20 minutes before, leaving me in a mix of a rather incensed but also apprehensive mood. He later told me that he had accidentally dropped and smashed his phone on his way to meet me, and therefore neither had a chance to reply to my gradually more and more agitated phone calls and text messages to him, nor to make out who I was amongst the masses of people at the meeting point. Too bad really, I had been looking forward to a nice chat over lunch, and now I had also missed the chance to go to the movies with Vee.

While I was sitting there waiting for him, I couldn’t help admiring the masses of beautiful women strolling past me. I decided to kill the time waiting by zooming in on some of the lovelies with my camera and taking photos of them. I cannot believe how many stunning women I had before my lens within just 30 minutes of doing that. I must have taken a couple of dozen photos. I was also approached by four different girls within that short time frame, either asking me to have our picture taken together or looking for a friendly chat with me. Hell, I couldn’t help thinking how much time usually passes by back home for me to get this much direct attention from mostly amazingly attractive women. It’s a depressing thought, and I’m neither short nor ugly nor unshaped in any disadvantageous manner. God, I just love this playful, flirtatious, unpretentious and easy going approach to male-female interaction there.

I called Vee and told her the meeting was off, and half an hour later she was with me again and we headed back to the hotel to pick up her stuff. She didn’t leave however without using the opportunity of being back in the room and jumping at me again. When I sent her off she asked me if I would see her again next time, to which I replied I would, if she was certain it wouldn’t result in her being hurt in the process. She said she was okay with it and said:

“Next time you come here, if I don’t have boyfriend, and you don’t have girlfriend, we meet and touch. If one of us has boyfriend or girlfriend, we meet but don’t touch na kha?”

“Fair enough”, I replied, chuckling at her straightforwardness. A few minutes later she had gotten onto a bus in direction Central Pinklao and was out of sight. Bangkok, what a wonderfully bizarre city…

I took a walk around the beautifully decorated Rajadamnoen road before getting into a taxi and heading to the airport. I called Vee from the lounge to say a final goodbye as I had promised I would, and reminded her to take the second dose of Postinol that she was supposed to take 12 hours after having taken the first. She sent me a text when she did. Two days ago she also informed me about having gotten her period. So there is nothing to worry about anymore.

Will I meet Vee again next time around, at the end of January? I guess so. It’s fun to have her around, and despite my inclination to easily get too much involved on an emotionally level, I don’t see that risk so much with her. I really like her, yet there is no way I could spend as much as a week together with her. Vee is a really sweet and good natured girl, and as far as I can tell also rather innocent. Hell, she sincerely asked me if she can get pregnant from a blowjob once. And believe me; she was dead serious about that question.

At least she was innocent until she met me. Sometimes I worry that I might have contributed my share in creating another monster, a different Vee that through me has discovered her appetite for farang men. But how do my friends so often tell me…”Akulka, you think too much.” Probably I am…



After we had first slept with each other Vee had asked me if I thought of her as a bad girl now because she gave herself to me after knowing me only for a few hours. I told her I didn’t think she was, as much as I didn’t think I was a worse person for what I had done. I stand by my opinion. Given the spontaneous and wild days we had together, it would be a bit brash for me to emphasize now how this girl has incredibly strong values, but I do vehemently refuse to depreciate her character for the fact that she has given herself to me. My gut feeling tells me she is an alright person. I don’t know her very well at all, but at this time I don’t think I’m mistaken. She is a hard worker, doesn’t drink or smoke, and never asked me for a single Baht during my stay, even though I admit to having treated her on several occasion, and it was my pleasure doing so.

To me Vee has been like medicine, and sometimes when I think about her I feel a slight sting deep inside of me. That’s my bad conscience for using her as a remedy against my broken heart.

With regard to Nok…she never called me on that one weekend after my return from Malaysia. There had been a time when she had told me how she wished she could only give back to me a fraction of the all the things I had done for her in the future, and half a year later she didn’t even manage a single phone call. I find this very disappointing. I’m beginning to see now why senior people than myself sometimes speak of having become hardened and bitter over the years when they reflect upon their lives and their experiences with the other sex. I did send Nok an email after my return home, briefly conveying my disappointment in her to her. She sincerely apologized. Yet to me, actions mean more than words, no matter how sincere. She also told me something that I absolutely hadn’t expected. She argued she didn’t think it would be appropriate to meet me as she had met somebody who she really loves and cares for, and didn’t think it would be fair to him if she spend time with me now.

That basically means she has dropped her French boyfriend of three years. The one she was so fiercely committed to. The one she told me she just couldn’t bear to hurt. The one she gave me as the reason why she had to turn me away. All this just a few months after pleading me under tears not to cut ties with her. All this after telling me that I was so precious and special to her she just cannot bear losing me. All this after me hurting badly for months after losing her. I feel like one right idiot now.

How do people say…That’s life! Yes, I suppose it is, yet it is more easily said than accepted. I’ll have to come to accept it. I don’t see an alternative.

For me, after having lived through all these experiences, which, without a doubt for many of you will appear to be not particularly out of the ordinary, things might become even a bit more complicated when it comes to my future of dating women back home. I’ve come to appreciate certain traits in the women of particularly South East Asia that I sorely miss in Farangland, and I’m not talking about the traits of Nok that I just mentioned a few lines above. However, I do realize there are always two sides to a coin.

One of my best friends back home has recently knocked up his girlfriend of two months. I know for a fact it happened accidentally, because if it hadn’t, I would have personally permanently restrained him in a strait jacket. I pity him. Albeit himself not exactly being a second George Clooney, his girlfriend could at best be described as a chain smoking, binge drinking rhino (read = fat) with a brash attitude. At least that’s the impression she gave me on the last few occasions we met. Dear god, I hope I was misled, for his sake mostly but also for mine, as I’m not comfortable at all with the thought of having such a character being a part of my life, no matter how small, permanently from now on. That is if my mate doesn’t wake up and smell the coffee some time soon. Either way, she is going to be the mother of his child. For his own sake, I think I’ll have to keep him from going to Asia anytime in the future. It would probably open his eyes and at the same time make him permanently dependant on Prozac, given the realization of what else is actually out there for grabs.

When I told another good friend of mine about my recent experiences I couldn’t help myself but dish out the following advice to him. I told him, if he ever decides to travel to this wonderful region of our planet (and he is an avid traveler despite his young age of 22) he should either do his thing traveling there without getting involved too much with the local girls, with the result of him still being able to genuinely be interested in the girls back home, or to make contact, with the result of jeopardizing his sanity and most notably, possibly his outlook on women in Farangland.

Now, I realize my comments to him were lopsided and heavily influenced by my lasting and renewed infatuation with the other sex in South East Asia. Yet I can’t help the feeling as if I’ve just been sucked deeper into that particular hole permanently.

Or maybe it’s really me who has a problem. I know for a fact there are many attractive women with good personalities to be found in the West. However, if you take out those of the equation that either smoke or frequently swig themselves numb, the pool shrinks dramatically. And I don’t think I’m being a hypocrite here, as myself I have never smoked, done drugs, and am only a very moderate social drinker. Most of the few good ones are already off the market once they become available again. It’s not as if women here don’t find me interesting or attractive. The thing is that even if I find them attractive in return, they put me off by their attitude, or habits.

It appears as if my destiny has always been, and will continue to be to remain a citizen of the land of longing…

(Feedback appreciated)

Stickman's thoughts:

I had hoped to comment today, but I have just got really busy and am not able to comment today. I will do my best to do it tomorrow. Sorry!