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When The Bough Breaks

  • Written by Union Hill
  • October 24th, 2006
  • 4 min read


I had had far too much to drink and rather unusually for me, sex was the last thing on my mind. I had apparently had the good sense to head for a habitual bolt hole of mine which is located in a tucked away part of Sukhumvit, Soi 33. At least I had the sense to realise that I was too drunk to drive home.

I don’t remember actually checking in but I must have done because I was lying on the bed when I woke up. My clothes were in a heap on the floor. Money, credit cards, watch, phone and spectacles were on the bedside table. Oh good, I thought to myself. Nothing nasty seemed to have happened. No strange women were in evidence and no splashing noises were coming from the bathroom. Oh double good, I thought to myself again. I must be alone. That’s saved me a couple of thousand baht.

So, just what had brought this on?

The previous day I had received the shock of my life. My horse’s ass of a boss had called me from Australia to tell me that the company was not going to renew my contract which was due to expire at the end of the year. The prick had rambled on about the company changing direction and my activities not being ‘core business’. Core frigging business? How the hell was I supposed to pay for beer and women and live in Thailand with no frigging employment contract? Answer me that. The little shithouse had really wrecked my day.

So I did what I always do when faced with adversity. I went straight out and got shit-faced.

Now, I was dealing with the aftermath and what a mother trucker of a headache I had. I decided to lie there for a moment before facing that bitch, life.

No good. It just wasn’t going to go away and I was only on the second floor. Too low for a sky dive. I’d probably only sprain an ankle. Nothing for it, I’d have to get up and look my troubles square in the eye.

I pulled myself together and wandered off aimlessly down the street. Something would surely turn up, I reassured myself but look though I might there was no sign of any new job lying around on Soi 33. This was going to take some real effort.

But seriously folks, having this happen to you when you live in your own country is bad enough but when you live in a foreign country, like Thailand, it is really unnerving. There’s the house, the car, the wife, the insurance and all of life’s little buggerations to deal with. No problem when you’re gainfully employed but when your only means of support suddenly disappears it does look like a very, very long way down to earth.

Of course, sitting around moping about the situation was not going to do any good so I decided some positive action was needed. How about a two-girl session at the Eden Club? NO! NO! NO! Think man!

I pulled myself together and headed for the office. A plan was starting to germinate in the deepest recesses of my mind. I called friends and contacts far and wide in an effort to rustle up a new job. Funny how your mates cop a deaf ‘un when you’re in trouble. Never mind, I had a plan by now and I was sure I could sell this idea to someone. After all, I still had clients and worthwhile business, all I really needed was some capital or better still, someone else’s capital.

A few stressful days followed when I wasn’t sure if I was going to come through or not. I put a brave face on things and assured the misses that this was just a temporary glitch and everything would work out. I don’t know whether she believed me or not but she, at least seemed to take comfort from my re-assurances. For those few days, I was in turmoil but I tried to appear outwardly calm. Boy, what a nightmare.

After a week or so, I had kind of got used to my predicament and although it was still a very serious predicament, at least the initial panic I had felt was starting to subside. I had enough money to last me for a while but not enough to retire on. More importantly, I didn’t really want to start digging into my savings. Hell, you never know when there might be an emergency!

One thing I do have and that is confidence in my own ability. I have managed to negotiate an extension to my contract so I have some more time but the original problem still exists. There are irons in the fire and fingers in pies. I am working on a couple of independent deals which are looking hopeful. I am quietly confident that things will work out now and I will be able to continue my outrageous lifestyle here, in the Land Of Smiles. I can’t bring myself to contemplate any alternatives. The thought of cold weather, fat white women, binge drinking teenagers and traffic wardens is more than I am prepared to accept.

So there you are. It’s not just finding a job in Thailand – it’s keeping it that’s really important.

Union Hill

Stickman's thoughts:

Sorry to hear this bad news. I am sure there will be a turn around and you'll have something positive to announce soon.