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Ten Weeks With Non-Bargirls Part 4

  • Written by Bop Melow
  • October 21st, 2006
  • 13 min read


V. Naughty n Nice

Day 26: The line is not so easy to draw between prostitutes and "normal" people. Today I was on a rural bus run, and noted a very pleasant looking lady across the aisle, but otherwise, things were too quiet. I dosed off at 10am, and when I woke up she was looking at me with a smile. So I tried to joke about my rudeness in falling asleep on her. To my surprise, she got up and sat right next to me. She told me her life story: she had two children, was 33, lived in a small town along our route, and would take temporary jobs, like inventory counting, for a month or two where-ever she could find them in BKK. She was very open and down to earth. No make-up, no tattoos, did not smoke, no pretensions, no garish clothing. She stroked my arm in a very sensual way. We held hands and a little more, then dosed a little against each other. She gave me a paper with her name, phone, email and address on it, and said "Please come to visit me. I will take care of you." We kissed, and agreed that 2 days from then would be a good time, when paths crossed again.

And that, my readers, was as close to a prostitute that I came in the 10 weeks. Not fair to say that of course, oh naïve me. Where is this fuzzy line? You can't be sure anyway. But there is no reason to risk a sexual encounter in this HIV-rich land with a spontaneous meeting, when there were 150 fully heated, long time qualified, much-more-prone-to-be-careful, sex starved corporate professionals waiting in line. They would at least lower the risk of disease, if not guarantee a long life. Nurses and doctors for example, are mandatory tested for communicable diseases at least annually, more often for medical exposures. They are frequent blood donors, which also report positives. More importantly, their training, values and fear for their jobs into which they invested years of schooling, and lots of money and contractual obligations, make them to be the most careful people in the land. Of course, we are all fallible, and silly at times, so what ARE the chances? The risk is still there.

The prostitutes take HIV tests too, but that whole system is much more willing to falsify the results for a bribe. To make this point theatrically, there was an HIV convention going on in BKK. One of the doctors asked me to attend it with her. There, among many interesting phenomena, was a wonderful cultural show, with dancers and musicians from each of the provincial areas. They provided an encyclopaedia of Thai beauty, a guide to look for the countryside. But – the disease message at the conference was simple: Is any vacation worth your life?? The secondary message is that sex workers deserve as much respect as any other job. Smiles.

Day 27: Today I must meet another farang at the airport, as he will join our project for 2 weeks. I think it would be nicer if there were women to greet him. The chemical engineer has been asking for her second date, as she promised to return in two weeks, so I think this is the right day for her. She has two sisters living with her, so IF I am lucky, they may want to come along to the airport. The ages of these three are 34, 31, 27. Miss Chem is really cute, and bouncy, and promising in many ways. It would be fun, but… apparently she will jump from one father to another. And her English and my Thai are near zero. On the pretences of curiosity about which one of the 3 sisters speaks better English I suggest that I meet them. She agrees to take me to her house. Nice place, garden, modern, very well kept, great food. Just the three of them live together there, and each has a decent job thanks to education. They are very friendly by western standards, but the two send out nothing sexual. When I ask if they are interested in helping to pick up a farang at the airport they perk up and want to go. So the 4 of us go a' cruising around in a Lexus that may or may not be big enough to add another large passenger and all his luggage. My rationale is that if one of the sisters has to sit on his lap, then so much the better. By the way, the middle sister won my "best English contest", with Miss Chem being the worst.

At the airport things go well. We go to a nice high-end river boat dinner, as best we can get on two-hour reservations notice, anyway. Then my tired friend looks like he wants to call it a night. Given the time zone change, he should have been wide awake. As I drop him off, his parting words are: "What the fuck you doing with those kids? You trying to get us thrown into jail? " He honestly thought their ages must have been 14 to 18! And he was angry about my scruples.

I'm just starting to get the hang of Miss Chem's half-words. She seems to be decent in writing English but lacks confidence in pronunciation so only half finishes her words. I close out the night by trying to give her some fatherly advice, and wish her good luck. No kiss. No touch. I have decided by now I must be "selective". Ha. So far, only 4 that I decided to "cut it off" before anything gets started. Nice kids, those 30-something's! Most rejections so far, I have been really stalling, not rejecting, with no closure. Accepting someone is more peaceful than rejecting someone. So I am too quick to accept, and too slow to reject. Am I leaving a trail of bad experiences of jilted love? Or fond memories of visitors from afar and summer flings? I realize there is a lot of arrogance here on my part, but that is pretty much how things play out in a buyer's market.

Day 28: Princess has left three messages by now: "My naughty boy, please call me." I will return the call just as soon as I find an opening in my schedule so I can give her something definite. Things are to the point where I must plot not only my own chaotic work and travel schedule, but I must also collect the schedules of each of my ladies to determine who can come over when, and who might pop in unannounced when. This is too much like work. Since when does dating require project management?? Things are getting too bizarre. But when I don't do this, things begin to collide. The entire nation is my playground, yet while walking down to the riverside restaurant with Boom, arm in arm, we meet Leaky, the girl I just late last night told of intimacies and great promise between us. I won't even tell you why I had to name her Leaky. Ouch. Its HARD It’s a HARD life to handles these crises. And what are the chances?? Did you factor in my bad luck factor?

Observation: I have not dreamed once since I arrived in Thailand. As all my fantasies are being realized, there's just no point in wishin' and hopin' and dreamin'!!!

A lady who claimed to have a masters degree I am now sure has had little or no college. She cannot answer any questions about school at all. First one of so many to not be accurate in her education and career. I think she is not even sure what a master's degree is. Maybe she thought she was answering a question about masturbation, given the strangeness of her naughty response. Bye bye.

Day 29: I did have my Isaan adventure. Miss Roi-Et promised she had a very good "program" for me. I flew into Roi-Et and two nurses picked me up and took me straight to the golden Buddha park, we did aerobics en mass, led by two ladyboys. Miss Roi-Et got me Thai rate (less than one half of farang rate) at the hotel. Took me out for candle light dinner and loud "rock" soundstage after. Back at the hotel, Thais are fearless karaoke singers. Just fearless! My nurses left me alone that first night, and I slept feeling lonely, almost shivering.

Miss Roi-et appeared 6am the next morning for a 500km drive. We went to a wat (temple) which was almost finished (is construction ever really complete in Thailand?), then to other parks, had lunch over the water in a gratome (bamboo picnic shelter as you see in every paradise island photo). It had privacy curtains to the land but open to the water. Only a little 10 year old server girl came near us, and the bouncing of the walkway boards warned us of her approach. Lunch became very sexy, and we couldn't wait to return to the hotel for a more complete experience. We played touching games all the way home while she drove. In the hotel, Farang was magic to her, and she was magic to me. Very nice body, large breasts by Thai-standards but she had a tag of skin hanging off one thigh about 1cm long. I just wanted to pluck it off every time my hand would glide over it. [I didn't say anything, but indeed her nurse friend did cut it off several days later.] Anyway it was another sexual explosion. She wanted more, and she wanted everything. And again. And again. She said it had been a long time! Her husband was killed in a car crash 5 years earlier, but he was "farmer ignorant" of sexual pleasures. She described that he got on top, and was done in a minute, and that's all she ever experienced. So every other sexual possibility was so new to her she talked about each move with great curiosity and amazement. That was helpful, cus she was candid in what she really enjoyed the most (circular tongue moves). Many of her colleagues later confirmed the details of her life, so I marked this all up as genuine.

Miss Roi-Et introduced me to about 30 of her local friends all together, many taking photographs to document our encounters. But there was another dozen friends made when we visited her university. I received many gifts of home-made crafts from some of these friends: custom made shirts, Thai pants, blankets, pillows, bamboo art, lanterns, musical instruments, CDs. We went to a studio and got dressed in traditional Thai garb (Thai wedding tuxedo would be another way to put it), taking about 60 professional photos. Ladyboys handled costumes and make-up. At private home parties in the evenings, I received many seductive hand-dances (somewhat like Hawaiian hula arm dances). The music is mesmeric, hypnotic, and can produce some romantic feelings. I ate penis-shaped mushrooms, drank wine from a totally dry flask (just add water to get a never-ending source of deep red wine). I was thinking No way … but it was pretty good. The bamboo huts did shake. And at sunrise, coffee and bread, so we would return to the hospital by 8:30am for a line of patients waiting to be cared for.

One downside today. Stalker tracked me down via the telephone bill which went to her instead of to me. She provided me the phone, remember? Maybe she called every number showing on my bill, until she found the hotel I was staying at. But my first call to this hotel was yesterday, so how does she get such up-to-date information? And thinking it would be room service talking in Thai, I let Miss Roi-Et answered it. My incredibly-bad-luck factor, remember? Stalker scared her pretty good. The long arm of the government? No. Female possessiveness can be just as bad. Perhaps she has access to phone billing records. That would explain all the crap she has been pulling on me lately. Phone billing records are way better that waiting in the hallway at the condo. They give you names, phone numbers, addresses, times of each contact, frequency of contacts, day of first contacts. She might even be able to track my location by the cell phone, with a cooperative phone company guy. Just mention her government position, and they'll cooperate. Yikes! Powerful women are dangerous.

Day 30: I live with my new girlfriend in a hospital dorm. I turn off my cell phone. She says we are a good match because her big breasts go good with my big dick (by Thai standards). I think that is a stupid reason to get married. But wait, remember my earlier theory about tiny breasts mean a tiny pussy? Well – corollary must be: larger breasts needs a larger dick to please the larger pussy that must go with. Could be!! Anyway she insisted we take a picture in bed together. She really wanted evidence to show her girlfriends. Another kind of paradise: one man living in a building housing 30 horny women. The nurses there cook communally, so I see them all 3 times a day. They treat me well, but respect that I am "taken". Lots of kidding and joking though. Two would like to sneak in for their own taste, but I do not pursue them. I just give them flowers, as kind of a "thank you for your interest". They like hugs. Its almost as though they are getting a mild electric shock while we hug – so nervous about it. But then they say: "Again!" If no one was watching, this would advance to kisses. "Show me how", "Again!"

Day 31 – 36: Miss Roi-Et arranges a leave of absence and we take off on a honeymoon drive to Mukdahan market village on the Laotian border. We try to fit into the small hotel bathtub together, and then eat very strange fish from the Khong River. Then wander the mountains thereabouts. Lots of interesting nature details I won't bore you with.

I've fallen into a rut: Nurses. Wow.

By my count, Isaan women deeply like sex, and their appetite exceeds, I fear, what any single man can deliver.

Smiles – it's worth trying, however. All her friends welcomed us back afterwards, prying for juicy honeymoon details. They say our honeymoon was very "funny". By which they mean "full of fun", not meaning "ridiculous". (I hope.) Also, even small towns offer a lot of live music, and tonight it is a Thai form of rock on the sound stage, followed by more traditional groups whose lyrics have nature themes, like harvest, and mountains, and helping one another. [I gradually come to learn that live music is abundant almost everywhere in Thailand.] It's a good group of friends tonight for my farewell and there is much laughing into the wee hours over beer. But with no more hope for clandestine affairs, behaviour by all is a tad more formal. In the morning another nurse joins us for breakfast and they take me to the bus station. Nice pelvic thrusting kisses goodbye from both. Sometimes I think this is involuntary and it embarrasses them. Please, no embarrassment necessary. Thrust on!


Stickman's thoughts:

Will save my comments for the end of the series.