Our Last Night Together At The Nana

We'd planned the trip for what seemed like months and finally the day had arrived. 2nd September 2006. Four of us – Jimmy, Michael, Jon and myself. We had planned a three month trip which included visits to Thailand, Bali and Australia. We were all school friends and had known each other for 16 years. We are all 21 and grew up in a small town in south west England. A friend of ours had been to Thailand once before for 3 months – so we knew, or we thought we knew what we were in for! After saving enough money we either quit or took leave from our jobs and escaped the grey skies and fat lager drinking, cigarette smoking women, who, no matter how loud the music is in any pub, will always make themselves heard, for the tropical climate and the gorgeous, petite women of South East Asia.

So there we were, all four of us ready to board the indirect, Gulf Air flight to Bangkok. Excited and some what apprehensive we sipped our pints of Carling in the departure lounge until our flight was called. After a four hour stop in Bahrain we were off again, the next stop – Don Muang.

We go through customs with no problem. Get outside and the heat smothers us like a jealous uncle. A happy and cheerful taxi driver approaches us, more than willing to help us young, white-skinned lads on their first trip to Thailand. The long, long taxi journey ended and we paid our brown, wrinkled friend a measly 714 baht (Jimmy was adamant that the meter was to be turned on after he had been fore warned about taxi drivers after an easy buck. <714 baht from the airport into BANGKOK?! That cannot be right – Stick>

Our hotel was nice. Clean, cool and mirrors! Mirrors everywhere, no need for so many!

To cut to the chase Bangkok wasn't for us. I think they call it culture shock. After being there three days we headed back to the airport and flew to Koh Samui. Now this really was paradise. It just seemed to suit us a whole lot better. We met a lot of fellow Brits which put us at ease. Michael soon fell for a young lady selling Asahi beer. Anyway he soon discovered the infamous barfine and 600 baht later she was back at his room. We returned to the room later that night to find Michael sound asleep in the bathroom and no lady. "What? Where the hell is she?" He slurred as we woke him. It turned out Michael had fallen asleep after too many Asahi's. The girl needed no invitation to steal his wallet, phone and IPod.

After that night we were all a lot more careful in who we brought back to our rooms. We partied by night and most of the next morning. Our day times involved lying on the beach and watching the Canadians and Americans taking volleyball far too seriously and getting extremely upset every time the topless katoey smashed another winner past them.

A week had gone by and we decided to stay for another week. Michael (poor old sod) was in love again. Chompoo was her name. Twenty three, pretty, but had a light spattering of acne. She worked at the dive point hire shop on Chaweng beach. Five days past with no dramas. Just the usual jet skiing and sun bathing by day and going on the sauce in the evenings. That was until Jimmy got into an argument down at the Green Mango. It ended up in Jimmy headbutting another farang which resulted in two Thai women arriving at his room that night both yielding rather vicious looking knives. They apparently demanded that he give them some form of compensation for breaking the nose of one of their farang boyfriends. This compensation ended up being poor Michael's (remember it was Jimmy acting the goat) digital camera which his gran bought for his 21st birthday. The girls shouted, and I quote, "You hurt my boyfriend, now you give pay me back, I take this, this, this and want wallet you duey."

After that episode we took the next Lom Praya boat from Samui to Koh Phangan. Here we found we could relax and not worry about the incidents that occurred the previous few days. We really enjoyed our stay there and returned to Bangkok for four days before we would catch our flight to Perth.

Bangkok the second time around seemed fantastic! All the amenities of Samui – and more! What an amazing place this can be once you actually grow a half decent pair of bollocks and go and see the place rather than cowering in the comfort of your hotel room, guzzling Chang until you feel confident enough to leave the security of the premises. Every walk is an adventure whether it be simply going to buy toothpaste from the 7eleven or going on a night out to Nana Plaza with the boys.

As I write this we are in Sydney, apart from Michael that is. He returned to the hotel early on our last night in Bangkok. Little did we know that night as he finished off his kow pat moo and left with his tilac that was to be the last time we would see him in a conscious state. You see Michael never did meet us in the lobby the following morning, in fact he's still asleep. He is currently in a stable condition in Derriford Hospital back in England. It is believed that Michael received a massive overdose of Rohypnol.

As for us, we still have to try to fulfil the rest of our holiday, our thoughts are obviously with Michael and his family at all times. We are just all hoping that he opens his eyes some day soon. I'm hoping to be reporting good news on my next submission which, with any luck, will be in November when we are back in Thailand as we have sacrificed a month in Bali for another one in LOS – yeah, we're hooked.

Matt and Jon

Stickman's thoughts:

This is a classic example of a submission that needed a lot more detail. Your mate lost his wallet, phone and Ipod? Did he report it to the police? Were they helpful? Did he go and look for the girl?

Why didn't you like Bangkok? What was it that you didn't like?

And as for your mate, Michael, how did he get from Samui to the UK?

This submission really needed a lot more detail. Some incredible things happened…