Nearly Perfect

I finally made it to Thailand for the diving, the food and the perfect island experience. And it nearly was perfect. I had my own private bungalow beside a quiet beach on the most beautiful island imaginable. My diving experience blew me away and the food… I love the food.

And on my last day, I was sitting at an outdoor food stall trying to soak in and reflect on my experience over the last three weeks. Instead I found myself ogling a drop-dead gorgeous Thai girl who was giving me looks that had my heart go aflutter. I was only in LOS for 3 weeks and didn’t expect a liaison with a lovely Thai girl (not interested in bargirls), but I was hopeful and this seemed too good to be true because she was clearly as interested in me as I was in her.

Before walking over to introduce myself, I tried to size up the situation. I could tell that:

1. she was Thai and not a foreign tourist (I could hear her talk to the waitress)

2. she did not live on the island (the nice dress and shoes were not island attire)

What I wondered:

1. Is she a bargirl?

2. What is that rumbling in my stomach?

3. Why is she alone? When will her friends / boyfriend / date for the week show up? (I thought it unusual as other Thais on the island seemed to travel in a herd)

4. Why is she tanned? I thought Thais hated the sun? (I can see bathing suit marks on her shoulders)

5. Where can I find a toilet before I shit myself?

So I threw my 100 baht on the table and barely made it back to the bungalow before the world came out of my a**. Half hour later and several pounds lighter, I go back to find the beautiful apparition had, of course, disappeared. So much for loving Thai food…

Next day on the ferry back to Krabi: There she was! My heart leaped and just as fast, it crashed when I saw an Asian guy sitting next to her who she was obviously traveling with. I was already depressed about leaving my perfect island and going back to my shitty job. Now, I was heartbroken at seeing *her* with someone else. Fortunately, I celebrated big the night before so between the late night and the hum of the boat’s engines, I had no trouble falling asleep.

Only half conscious, I found myself following a throng of people making their way to the gate at Krabi airport, many of whom I recognized from the ferry, including… her! At least those are her legs that seem to go to her neck and that silky black hair falling down over her shoulders. It was her! And she was sitting by herself! Where’s her guy? I sat close by like a lion in the grass waiting for the bastard, but he didn’t show. It’s not like I was going to do anything if he did… but, that guy must not have been traveling with her after all. She was just sitting there alone reading the Bangkok Post (which means she speaks English) This was meant to be! I walked over and she gave me a smile that made my knees buckle. Before I could generate enough saliva to separate my now parched lips, she said “Hi, I remember seeing you yesterday.” She remembers! Damn. Nang and I talked for 20 minutes before her flight left (mine left 2 hours after hers) and found out she worked in sales for a hotel / restaurant supply company. She was on the island for work and stayed over the weekend for fun. It was all very casual. She seemed confident and unaffected and I was too. Well, I think I was. I was actually like a duck on water. Calm on the surface with feet going a mile a minute down below. I lied and said I planned to come back to Thailand soon and could she show me around Bangkok, or something. Returning soon was probably just wishful thinking at the time. She gave me her email address and boarded the plane. I, and every other guy standing around, followed with our eyes.

Emails followed for the next three weeks. They were good, but not great. Her spoken English was much better than her written English. Christmas was around the corner and even though I just blew all of my vacation, I could take 3 working days off amongst the holidays and weekends and spend 10 full days in LOS getting to know my new friend. A few days later I blew off my family, boarded a flight to possibly start something with a stunning good Thai girl. I couldn’t believe what I was doing. I was standing in front of a shopping center on Sukhumwit nervous at hell; like a teenager going on my first date. We met after she got off work around 6 PM. Unsure what to expect, but based on the emails I had a feeling it would be a dinner and an early evening. And honestly that really would have been okay. I expected to have to lay some groundwork.

The first stop was to meet her brother at his work at a theater inside. Makes sense for a girl to introduce her brother to a stranger she will be hanging out with. Meeting was uneventful since I don’t speak Thai and he doesn’t speak English. At her suggestion, we’re off to an outdoor beergarten for some drinks. Unfortunately, the beers are served with a band playing horrible, headache-inducing Thai music on a nearby stage, but it was still fun.

At first it was small talk and background info: born in BKK, father out of the picture, poor family so worked to put herself through university. Has long-term career goals including starting her own business and would eventually like to live in the west. She was very interesting, engaging and was a great conversationalist. She did not have a complete command of English, but she spoke it quite well.

Alcohol being the great social lubricator, things soon loosened up, but was still unsure how the evening would end up. A friend of hers called (the planned ‘out’ in case I’m a dolt, which is fair enough) and then we were three. Nit ran a beauty salon, but was no beauty herself. She had a tough and not so pleasant look about her. Anyway, Nit didn’t like the beergarten so the decision was made to go dancing at Q Bar. Readers, I know what you’re thinking. You’re a fool! You’re getting reeled in by a BG! Well, being an avid reader of Stick’s site, I started thinking the same things. Lots of questions started running through my head: Was that her brother or her boyfriend? What kind of work did she do to put herself through school? Would a good Thai girl be willing to drink beer with a farang in a Thai crowd? Why did she have a friend that looked like Patpong chewed her up and spit her out?

Well, I was having fun and wanted to see how things would unfold. We were in public places and I figured I was fairly safe as long as I kept an eye on my drink and kept my wits about me. Images of a little pill putting me out for a couple of days kept appearing in my head.

A few times I sensed they were plotting my demise while I was picking up the next round of drinks, but soon enough Nit was on her way home and Nang was getting a bit closer. By 2 AM we were on the way to get some food and I was still waiting for the proverbial wheels to fall off. (I’ve never paid for *it,* at least not directly, and was not going to start then. I also wasn’t interested in starting something with a BG) But the conversation kept getting better and better and my comfort level kept getting better and better until we found ourselves back at my hotel. Two days later… I missed my flight to Krabi to go diving so yes, it was good.

I finally made a flight a few days later, but until then everything went great. It seemed I was wrong about her and all those misguided suspicions were just that, misguided. Silly me. I’ve read too many jaded experiences on Stickman’s site.

Then one night we ended up walking back from dinner through Patpong (my hotel was on Silom). I needed some gifts to take home and Nang offered to do some negotiating with the vendors for me. While standing around checking out the scene, she asked if I have ever been to a gogo bar. I honestly answered “no, I hadn’t. I’d only been to a few strip clubs in the US for bachelor parties.” When I playfully asked if she has been to one, she said, “Sure! It’s no big deal. I’ve taken clients to these places before plenty of times.” WTF?!? How many times has Stick written that this isn’t good Thai girl behavior? Hell, this isn’t even good western girl behavior! Then again shacking up with a guy after one date, a few emails and a 20 minute chat doesn’t seem very good either.

As a visitor to Bangkok, she decided that I should go into one. Many of your readers, I’m sure, would agree, but it was as if she thought it would have been a shame for me to travel all the way to BKK without experiencing some of Bangkok’s local culture. With her leading, we went in and it was not fun. The girls looked sad and kind of pathetic so we didn’t stay long. Maybe we picked the wrong place. When I asked what she thought, she only commented on the girls’ looks. What I wanted to know is what she thought of the club itself and what she thought of the girls’ lifestyle, but I didn’t press. Probably, I was afraid of her answer.

The only other noteworthy event was when I met her mother after shopping one afternoon. We stopped by her home so she could pick up a few things. It was very casual and not unlike meeting the Mom of so many other dates over the years, except her Mom surely knew it was me Nang had been spending her nights with. She hadn’t even been home in four days. Nang translated and we chatted for about 20 minutes and left. No big deal. Her mother was very nice. The place was not. One of the things I got out of the experience was that the money Nang used to pay for school did not come from home.

At the end there were expressions about “being together” and “let’s see what happens.” For me, marriage is far from my mind, but I definitely want to maintain the connection. Who knows down the road? Waaaaay down the road that is. I just don’t know what’s up with this girl and I certainly cannot ask if her former profession was… professional. And if I asked and she was, I’m sure she would lie. And if I asked and she wasn’t… well, that would be too ugly to contemplate. The question is how to reconcile all these things. How does all this add up? And am I being paranoid?

She’s clearly on the right path now, but I am afraid of the emotional baggage that someone would have after being in the “industry,” even if it was just for a short time. And

if she could carry the load somehow, I probably would not be able to handle my own baggage if she did have this on her resume. Any thoughts would be appreciated.

Stickman's thoughts:

I mentioned this to the Mrs. and she confirmed what I thought – good Thai girls just do not go to, and are not familiar with, the gogo bars, except in extremely unusual cases, like when I get the Mrs. to assist on an investigation and she has to go in. So one could say that the fact that she has been into such places before is a little unusual…

It sounds like you're quite enamoured with this lady so I would say to continue on and enjoy it, but just keep an eye on things. She may be quite innocent and her past might not include anything grotty.