A Young American Hip Hopper Hops Around And Gets Hopped On

This FR is based on a late-night excursion in January, 2006.
I seem to be writing more and more about Stickman submissions but some just cry out for it, especially those that don’t have the courage of their convictions and sign their stories with Anonymous and do not leave an e-mail address.

First I would like to know why people start out with – 'Let me tell you a little something about myself.’ -When their present or past background has nothing to do with the story whatsoever. They are invariably, young, handsome, making thousands of dollars with a big home and a Mercedes convertible. Ho-Hum, who cares.

I was interested in the submission 'Thailand land of trials: A Young American Hip Hopper’s Experience’ on many different levels.

He tells us that he is so well-travelled, having visited a half a dozen countries. Wow, Golly Gee, Impressive until you get to the part where he let his bell boy and cab driver take him for a ride – TWICE. Wonder how much he shelled out for those trips, but he doesn't say.

I was also interested in this submission because we don’t see many where the writer says right up front that he is black. Possibly there are many more but some people are less touchy or more intelligent. Thank God he said he was black and not African-American or some such so this will save me some writing. Wait, I think I remember one submission where a black guy bought a suit in the Emporium and had a super week with the Thai sales girl.

No one at the airport seemed particularly friendly? And the girl you were corresponding with for two years saw you but did not recognize you? And you believed that? I can see the part where you did not recognize her as there are thousands of Thais in the terminal.

But how many other black guys did you see lined up waiting for someone. Oh, the two Nigerians in dashikis, but that was about it. Your friend did not come over because of the way you were dressed; even in front of a lowly cab driver she did not want to lose face. You caused a stir when you arrived at your hotel? They were probably trying to figure out the best way to refuse you. The bellhop asked if you were in the music business. Cute? That’s their way of telling you that you are inappropriately dressed. The next country that you go to why don’t you take the time to read up on a little bit of the customs, dress, behaviour and such. Did you point to anyone with your feet or pat people on the head as a friendly gesture? The theory of face is very important here in Thailand. The Thais could care less if you have a nice house in America. It’s all important how you act and dress here.

I am allergic to air-conditioning. I just can’t take it – in the airports, planes, cabs, hotels, hospitals and even the bars in Nana Plaza. It would be easy to throw on an old outdoors jacket of some kind but I figure why bother. I bought a few suits at the Emporium and had some dress shirts made at Majestic Tailors on Sukhumvit. I brought a few dozen of my favourite ties to Thailand, never dreaming that I would ever wear them. If I go out I must wear a jacket and often I am the only guy in a Nana bar with a jacket and tie and the girls ask if I just got out of work so I say yes which is easier than explaining that I am sick. Oh yeah, I wear my jacket to immigration when I renew my visa and I must say that everyone there and at the airport has been nothing but friendly and polite.

Did your first dentist blow you off because you were black? More likely because you looked indigent and people stared at you and your friend Kate in the mall probably because she was neatly dressed and you had a T-shirt and a mouth full of bad teeth. I always check into a particular nice hotel and the last time there were a few black guys staying there and the female staff were all over them. The young men were neatly dressed and polite.

If they had any hip-hop clothes they left them back in the hood where they belong. I just love it when black guys act stupid and then cry- You don’t like me because I am black’

The author claims that there are all kinds of salesmen visiting his hotel room to sell him crap and wonders if its because of the bell hop or cab driver. What does he do? He calls them both up up and goes out again for another skinning. Then this world traveller goes to see the dentist without a dime in his pocket. Gee, I thought my wife was going to pay.

The man leaves his wife in the hotel bed and goes all over town but says he does not do short time because of his strange morals.

If these are his morals I would like to hear about the rest of them.

When the hotel night manager asked him his room number he became angry and wondered if it is because he is black or is it his hip hop attire. Worry no more. It’s because you look like s##t.

When I am in Rainbow 2 and I just bought a couple of knockout girls drinks and a few Japanese walk in and the girls jump up off my lap and run to the Japanese like they were long lost friends, do I say Oh Golly, poor me I am a

Caucasian and discriminated against? Let’s not be silly.

So you are coming back? And this story is to be continued? Great. Lucky us. I can’t wait to hear about your visit to Wat Arun and how it was closed because of the holiday but lucky for you there was a tuktuk driver who took you to a Government Gem store and about the great sale you took advantage of. And don’t forget Joe the bellboy and Charn the cab driver.

They will be jumping up and down with joy and big smiles on their faces when they see you.

Stickman's thoughts:

Ooooh Frank, he already made a fool of himself!