This Special BG Follow Up
For some of the readers that followed my story here is an update. I was very reluctant to post it as it is a mad story.
After some fierce SMS / mail / phone exchanges prior to my July trip, I was split in two. What was left of my brain thought that she had no real feelings for me. Yes she liked me but that was all. My heart (yes, I still have one) told me to keep trying and that maybe something would happen.
Anyway I was under no illusions. The good point was that she kept on being brutally honest with me.
So, then I went to Bangkok for her birthday in July. We meet and I barfine her for the whole length of my stay. We continue to sleep together but as usual, she made no move to invite me to something more than sleeping. I admit that I did not want to treat her like a BG so I did not try anything in any kind of sexual way. (Was a mistake as I learned later.)
Then, the birthday arrived, she invited her friend and then we headed to a good Italian restaurant on Sukhumvit soi 23. Champagne, Chianti classico etc… I felt she was upset by something at a moment but did not understand why. I received the “silent treatment” by the end of the dinner.
The day after, we met at another restaurant, me, her 2 friends (one is a non-nightlife woman). And me… She does not say a word to me. Around midnight she rushes out with her non P4P friend in tow, I stay there asking what the hell went wrong with her other friend.
Being sorry for me (and will lately find a bit attracted too) her friend took me to a disco / lounge where we talked a lot while sending SMS to ask “my” lady to come back out with us…
For 2 days, her friend and I still met as Miss D was not answering calls or SMS.
On the third day, Miss D SMSed me asking to meet me, just her and me in the morning.
I must say that these 6 hours we stayed together were the worst in my life till now. (Just so readers know I do not over emphasize, I have lived in Africa for quite a few years and have lived in civilian unrest in Kinshasa and the Rwanda genocide.)
She was jealous, angry, upset etc…tears in her eyes but she was too proud to really cry at
that moment. To make a long conversation short, we “broke” up.
The following days I decided to use the email address and mobile number I had received from a public relations lady at my hotel.
Also I went out with Miss D's friend sometimes and after 2 days she asked me if Miss D could come with us. Reason was: “she does not want to stay at home doing nothing nor go to the bar.”
So for the next days, I went out with 3 ladies as they were going well together (which surprised me a bit knowing that Miss D is a BG and not the 2 others.) Anyway, one night Miss D received a phone call. After that, she broke down in tears and got drunk with the 2 others trying to comfort her. I asked her what had happened but did not receive any answer. As she was very drunk I was asked if they could stay at my place…
Let me precise that her family does not know she has worked in a bar since last year. They still think she is working in an hotel.
She cried all night… The day after, the 2 others had to go, one to university and the other
to work, so they asked me to take care of Miss D as she was still crying. I had a hard day, wiping tears from her face and holding her gently. She kept on crying and repeating “nobody loves me”. In the evening I learned why she was (partly as I found out later) in
such an emotional state. Her mother wanted a new house and asked her as she has the highest salary in the eyes of her family (even if they think she still works at the hotel).
The following days nobody spoke about this issue. I still tried to date the PR lady but I had difficult times. My life during that time was quite weird. Me having difficulties to deal with the PR lady, Miss D and her friend trying to help me in this relationship… (and her friend being attracted to me too…)
Miss D and me were far more relaxed in our behaviour. I suppose that as there was no more “pressure” we were able to feel more comfortable with each other.
Anyway, the day before my departure I “split” with the PR lady after the ultimate argument. (I must say that I never shout, lose my temper etc…we just agreed that it would not work between us) NB: I use split as I can not find any other word even if most of you know that dating a regular Thai lady does not imply anything sexual (most of the time) or any deep feelings at the beginning.
So, I found myself walking down Sukhumvit under a soft, warm rain heading to Soi Cowboy… The rain was good as it cooled my thoughts. Then, an SMS…Miss D asking me why we do not go out tonight with her, her friend, the PR lady and me.
I explained her that it is over and that I had headed to Soi Cowboy as I needed to forget everything by going back to my “butterfly life”.
-> SMS asking me if she can meet me.
I asked her why she would come?
-> I want to be sure you barfine a nice lady so I will help you to find a good one for your last night. I stupidly answered yes.
So around midnight I found myself sitting at the entrance of Soi Cowboy in a beer bar with her. Then the question: Do you want to go to the beach? I thought that I heard maybe wrong. Nope, she repeats do you want to go to the beach… I look at her and I know deep inside that she is serious… She says Jomtien as it is the closest from BKK. Crazy as I am I say yes.
The taxi driver has probably never heard something so crazy in his life. He accepts quickly but asking us if we are mad. 2 people, without luggage, asking him to go to Jomtien past midnight…
While on the road we are joking about us being so crazy then she hugs me and then does not stop talking for one hour about what she feels for me, why she never showed it before, why she was cold and distant etc…
To end this part, I had the most beautiful hours in my life till now, sitting on the sand at 3 AM, being on a balcony watching the ocean.
The rest is private…let me say that we did not sleep for the night.
Now, I am about to move to Bangkok to buy a business. (And no I am not rich and I do not leave everything just for her.) She has left the bar and its high income and readies herself to go to university. We are sure now that everything will go fine between us.
It was a long road to understand each other and to be finally together but she is worth it. What I like the most in her is not her looks but the fact she makes me happy and relax, the fact that she is the first woman to be intellectually challenging, she is eager to learn and to change her life also. There are no real cultural misunderstandings between us as she is far more westernised than many Thais.
I know that whatever happens we will stay together after all we have been through.
I wish you good luck…