Stickman Readers' Submissions July 26th, 2006

You Never Forget Your First…

I’ve been thinking about making a contribution to this site for ages, but have just never got around to it. It’ll probably bore the pants off many of you, but I enjoy reading even the worst submissions and can find something to learn from
or laugh at, so here goes. I’m writing this as a kind of diary for me, but I’ll spread it over a few submissions.

My first ever visit to SE Asia was in September last year. Since then I’ve been back 5 times and mostly loved every minute of them. This submission is about my first visit, but first some background.

He Clinic Bangkok

I’m from the UK, mid forties, separated very messily (when aren’t they?) a couple of years ago, with small children that I still see every other weekend. Last year my older brother was diagnosed with the big “C”,
and died only 6 months after he first became ill. He had enjoyed over 10 years of retirement, but was still relatively young and active. I decided then that “life was too short”, “not a rehearsal”, and since you “only
get one shot at it” it was time to do something different. A couple of friends from work had spoken about Thailand, and how much “fun” they’d had there that I decided it was a place worth visiting. Also by then my divorce
was looking like being finalised soon so I booked my trip. 10 days – flights only…..


I borrowed a “Lonely Planet” guide, and then went on to the internet to find out more. I came across and read “Stickman’s guide to living and working in Bangkok” which I found interesting and useful although
much of it raised more questions than it answered for a Thailand Virgin. Also, I didn’t find the rest of the site until after I’d got back home, so I was still pretty green when I touched down at Don Muang. I’d booked 3 nights
in the Trinity Silom Hotel from the internet and after such a long flight was quite happy to pay the 660 baht for a Taxi from one of the booths in the Airport. The girl at the booth chatted while I waited for the taxi to come around, and she said
that since she had her own car she could drive me to Pattaya when I was ready to go, for just 1500B, and wrote her mobile number on the back of the taxi ticket….my first contact with a Thai girl. I then somehow managed to lose the number.

CBD bangkok

After driving up and down Silom Road a couple of times, (with the Taxi driver pointing out Patpong – I’d studied the map – I knew where that was, which was why I was staying where I was), and after negotiating the packed
street market on Soi 5, we finally found the way to the hotel lobby. I checked in and then went straight out for a walk to get my bearings. It was about 3pm at this stage. After about 1 hour of walking in the stifling heat and getting lost around
Soi Convent, Phitpat, and Silom Road (Patpong of course, was dead at that time of day) it was back to the hotel for a shower and a swim (and I should add that the Trinity has a really great pool & for under 1000B/n if you book by internet).

I was ready to go out on the town by about 6:30pm, so armed with only the Groovy Map of Bangkok from the hotel room to guide me; I was on my way just as it was getting dark. I walked for a couple of hours, in a big loop past the Lumpini Park,
the Dusit Thani, Silom Soi 4, and the Soi with the Japanese hostess bars on and finally into Patpong. Despite what I was expecting, there were few “Hello Hansum man” calls, and not really too many smiles. Maybe I was scowling after
having no sleep for over 24 hours. I resisted the temptations of the touts in Patpong1 to “see pussy show”, and the tuktuks drivers “You want massage? No! You want lady? No! you want ladyboy? No! You want boy? No! You want
nice suit?”, until finally one of the lady’s from a beer bar on PP2 came out to greet me as I walked past. What struck me was her extraordinary long hair – I have this thing about really long, straight hair, so I stopped for
a short chat, and said I was “just walking around” and that I might call in for a drink later.

I walked around some more and finally sat down at a small restaurant in PP2 for some food about 10 pm. My first Thai meal. I think I ordered a pork curry with rice (can’t really remember after almost 1 year, but why am I bothering
to, it’s not important? We’ll as I start to write this my memories just come flooding back, so perhaps it is to me anyway!) Anyway it was bloody hot – so I needed a beer to cool my mouth. My first beer, a large Singha, and
I wasn’t going to drink that night as I was sooo tired, and didn’t want to do anything stupid (remember I’d read of some of the scams). As I left I went past the bar with the girl with the long hair and she called out my name
– I was impressed she had remembered as we’d only spoke very briefly maybe 2 or 3 hours before, so I stopped for a(nother) drink. She sat with at one of the tables overlooking the road opposite the Red Parrot Pool club, and we chatted
for a short while. She spoke good English, told me her name was “Ae” (not her real name), found out I had been in Thailand for only about 9 hours, but did not ask for a drink! So I offered her one – She had a bottle of Singha,
at not the inflated prices I’d expected “lady drinks” to be. We had a few more beers, while we chatted for a couple of hours, until I’d finally plucked up enough courage to enquire if she could act a “guide”
for me the next day. (Boy was I naive…) She explained the bar-fine system (500B), but I said I already understood about that, and asked what about her time. “Up to you” (I must have heard this about a million times since that first
time – but it’s still the one I remember most…). We agreed on 2000, and off we set to my hotel, me not really knowing what to expect. Ae was 31, said she’d been working in the bar for less than a year, had one son, and lived
with her mum. She’d been married before to a Thai guy, but was now divorced. She was not as stunningly beautiful as many of the younger girls, but she had a nice figure, was easy to talk with, and had that great hair.

In the room we chatted some more and then started kissing. By now I was very tired, and feeling more than just a little drunk, but then my little man revived me. We undressed each other and she went to shower. I hid my wallet (like the guide
had said to do) and when she came out with the towel wrapped around her, I went for a shower (keeping the door open so I could keep an eye on where I’d hid my wallet). When I came out she was folding all our clothes neatly (I thought she
was looking for my wallet – was I suspicious or what?). Then we made love. Started slowly, and built up to a crescendo. She went for another shower and I asked if I could join her. She started to give me a BJ under the spray, but my legs
couldn’t hold me up, so we ended up in the bath which by now was more than just a few inches deep. Did I mention I have a thing about long hair? We’ll I REALLY have a thing about WET hair! Even so soon after our first f***, my little
man was ready for more action, and we ended up screwing in the bath – although most of the water sloshed over on to the floor. I had visions of it dripping through onto the reception desk below, but I didn’t care. By the time we’d
finished bathing and mopping up the worst of the flood and crawled back to bed, I was getting horny again. This time I wanted to “eat the oyster” which she seemed to enjoy (or else she was a bloody good actress!), and we ended up
screwing again. By now it was gone 4 am, and we fell asleep in each others arms.

wonderland clinic

We awoke at about 8:30. Me with a raging hard-on, but she soon sorted that out. She didn’t want to eat breakfast, so I went down alone (just in time as it happened – one bad thing about the Trinity is that breakfast finishes
at 10am), while she went off home to change into something more suitable for visiting the temples later that day.

She came back just as I had finished my breakfast and we went the snake farm, and saw the show. I was impressed and took some photos. Then we took the Skytrain to the river and got a ferry up to the Grand Palace. Now, I’m not really
into Museums or churches and the like, but I was impressed. She was a great guide, and good company so over a snack of fried rice and noodles overlooking the river, I asked if she would stay that night with me as well. We got a taxi back to the
hotel (I learned then not to take the first one that comes along if he won’t use the meter), and then ended up making love again, before falling fast asleep. Sleep was rapidly catching up with me.!

We woke later that evening and screwed again before going out to pay that night’s bar fine, and get some food. We ate at her favourite outdoor restaurant just off Suriwong road. Baked whole fish, Thai omelette (with Oysters), a couple
of other Thai dishes (“phet noi”, although I like really hot curries back in the UK), and a large beer for me all for less than the bar fine!

We then played a few games of pool in the Red Parrot, before crossing back to her bar for a night-cap before heading back to the hotel for the inevitable. In less than 24 hours I’d come about 7-8 times….I slept well that night!

I woke just in time for breakfast, but Ae slept on. I went back to bed after breakfast, and woke her with a smile… Later that afternoon we finally got up and had a coffee and cake at a small restaurant on PP2, while Ae went off to change
(and to see her son). Back to the hotel for me to take a swim. Another bout in the bedroom, and we got a tuktuk to Chinatown – 40B.

We ate noodle soup in one of the side streets. Two duck soups, and two fruit smoothies (first time I’d ever really enjoyed Kiwi fruit now I’m hooked), then a fish and a meat noodle soup both of which we shared (bloody hell,
she put so much chilli in it, and thought I liked hot food), all from different stalls. We called for the “check bin” and I paid about 100B. “What about the other stalls?” I asked. “No, that was for everything!”
I couldn’t believe it and left a 50% tip (all of 50B). We then walked around for a while, had a coffee and “sugar sandwich” (what was that about?) from one of the street corner vendors, then got a taxi to Khao San Road, and
had a few beers just watching the world go by, and talking about what I was going to do for the rest of my holiday. I’d planned to visit Pattaya for a couple of days, then move on to Koh Chang for a few more. Ae wanted to come with me,
but I wanted to go on my own, but I said I’d try to spend my last night in Bangkok with her before I left. Ae picked up some rice wrapped in Banana leaves, and we headed back to pay her bar. I wasn’t hungry so she shared the rice
with the rest of the other girls some of who joined us for (more than just) a few drinks. I was getting well “mao” that night, and the Boys in Brown must have had a night off so we were really late getting back to the hotel. My excesses
were catching up with me and we only managed a couple of couplings that night before being woken at 12:00 by reception – “You check out now?” Christ was that the time? I packed my case, paid my dues to Ae – “What
2,000 for EACH night?”

– so I had to go to the ATM for more, and then we got a taxi to Ekamai. I had about an hour to wait for my bus, so we lugged my suitcase across the road for a coffee in Black Canyon at the Cine Multiplex opposite, before I left at about 1:30pm.
I was sad to be leaving her and promised I’d see her again.


The bus ride was pretty uneventful. It was a hot day and everyone had pulled the curtains except the one behind me, so I kept looking around to try to see the countryside as we passed along. Finally caught the eye of a lady sitting directly
behind me (or did she catch mine?), although nothing was said other than exchanging a few smiles. When I got off the bus in Pattaya, I got out my “Lonely Planet” to find a hotel, when she came up to me to ask where I was heading.
I’ll call her “Bee”. I suggested the Diana Inn, and she pointed me to one of the Baht busses, and arranged the ride. On the way I asked her if she knew where the Roo Bar was, as I’d tentatively arranged to meet someone
there the next day that I’d met on a Internet discussion forum – another UK guy – not a Thai lady! I got off the bus at Diana Inn, and after I’d checked-in, Bee said she was off to her hotel a few hundred yards along
2nd Road. I thanked her for her help, and went up to my room.

When I came down 20 minutes later Bee was still sitting in reception, and stood up to greet me and said that the Roo Bar was just up the road, and she’d show me. We walked a couple of blocks away from the beachfront (not that I knew
where the beach was at that time), and came to the Boxing Roo on 3rd Road. I realised this was not the place I wanted, but we stopped there for a drink anyway, and one of the waitresses confirmed that the Roo bar I wanted was on Walking Street
– not that I knew where that was either! Bee told me that she’d just been to Bangkok that morning to finalise her divorce from her Australian husband after 7 years of marriage, and was living back with her family in Isaan with her
two children from him. She was 28, and in Pattaya for this week with her current Swedish boyfriend. Damn – she was nice…

As we walked back down (what I much later discovered to be) Soi LengKee, and crossed the worst junction in Pattaya – Soi Buakow, I almost got run down by a mad motorcycle taxi, until she pulled me away by the hand. This was the first
time we’d made physical contact, yet we both held on long after I’d thanked her for “saving” me. As we continued down Soi Diana Inn, she held her large envelope containing her divorce papers in, to shade us, and I put
my arm around her to keep her close, so we’d both fit under the little sunshade. After just a little bit of persuasion she agreed to come up to my room and we fell into each others arms, kissing passionately, and ended up f***ing frantically.
We showered together after, and she said she really had to go back to her boyfriend at her hotel, as she was already very late. This didn’t stop us having sex again before she walked with me down to Beach Road, and left me to go to her
hotel while I carried on along the promenade towards Walking Street to find the real Roo bar for the following night. We both said our goodbyes with a few tears in our eyes, but neither made any effort to arrange another liaison. She had her boyfriend
remember, and I was still a bit green.

Well I was gob-smacked along Beach Road. So many beautiful ladies just sitting, smiling, and calling “Hello, hansum man, I go with you?” (And remember I’d not read most of Stickman’s site at this stage so knew
little of the Pattaya Scene, although I quickly managed to identify the really “stunning” one’s as ladyboys.) Walking Street was even more of a shock, and by the time I reached the Roo bar, my tongue had been dragging along
the ground so much, I really needed a drink. I remember sitting there watching one of the Ashes matches on the TV for a while, and decided to try their “Genuine Aussie Trucky Burger” – I’d spent 3 months working and
travelling in Aus about 20 years before, and fondly remembered the “trucky-burger”. I was well satisfied with my 2 shags earlier, and was starting to feel the late nights in Bangkok catching up with me, so decided to head back to
the Diana Inn. (Incidentally, it was when doing a Google search of “Diana Inn” when I got back to the UK, that I found a reader's submission, and from there discovered the rest of the Stickman site – since then I’ve
been an avid reader. Thanks Stick…keep it up!)

This was more than could be said for me that night, but by the time I got back to the hotel, I wanted to see more, and tried to find the Boxing Roo from earlier, as I had been impressed with the little uniforms the girls there had been wearing
earlier. However, I got lost and ended up walking along Soi Buakow. I stopped in one of the small guesthouse bars with no other customers, just the owner, and one girl (that I tried unsuccessfully to barfine, as I was getting horny again by then
and wanted someone to sleep the night with), although they did share some of their snacky Thai food with me. One the way back to the hotel I stopped in one of the bar beers just next to Mega Pool, and took a lovely little thing back for “long
time”. That was a real disappointment. She was, what I have come to learn as, a Starfish. And then she had the cheek to say she had to leave there and then. So much for “long-time” & sleeping with someone in my arms!

Next day I walked up to the end of the beach by Naklua, and then stopped at a few bars on the way back along 2nd road. I met a nice wee thing from Laos in one of the bars opposite Soi 9 just as it was opening, and agreed to go back for her
after I’d met up with the guy in Roo Bar. As it turned out I missed him, but stayed for a few beers anyway to watch some more of the test match. Then it really rained hard so I got the bus back to the bar to see the girl from Laos. She
was really pleased to see me again as by then it was after midnight, and her boss who I’d been drinking with earlier had said I’d not be back for her. Unfortunately she was another starfish, although she did stay the night, but I
let her go before I went for my breakfast. Breakfast in this hotel stayed open until a much more respectable 11am.

Next day I walked along the Beach front and sat for a coco-nut on one of the deck chairs, when who should tap me on the shoulder and say hello but Bee. She looked really pleased to see me, and said that she’d seen me walk past from
her hotel balcony the previous day, and was waiting in the hope I’d go past today. We sat for a while and talked, she asked me if I’d found any nice girls yet? “Yes I said – You!” We went back to my hotel and
to bed for an afternoon quickie (aren’t they just the best?), but as she had to be back to her boyfriend soon she gave me her mobile number and asked me to call her in a day or two, and she would see if she could slip out for a bit longer.
She told me she didn’t really want to be with him anymore, and was going to finish with him after that holiday.

That evening I again went to find the Boxing Roo, but got sidetracked into the Trafalgar Bar on Soi LengKee – the bar with the circular pool table. Had a great night there playing pool with the girls, and chasing a huge cockroach around
the tiles at the front of the bar while all the girls pulled their legs off the floor (in doing so flashing their knickers at me whilst I was on my hands and knees after the cocky.) Finally managed to catch the bugger, and the mamasan said she’d
BBQ it tomorrow night as they were having party, if I came back. I barfined one of the girls and we had a good night of passion.

Next day we both went to Jomtien beach. She enjoyed the water but as she couldn’t swim, she just wrapped her legs around my waist while I tried to float on my back….Who was I to complain? She then started to dig up some of the little
cockles from the sand just above the waterline, for the BBQ that night. I just love playing in the sand (I should have been a Civil Engineer!) but since it’s not the kind of thing a grown man can get away with unless he’s with his
kids, I was glad to help. Meanwhile a couple of young Thai girls (about 5 or 6 years old), came to help me. They were really sweet (don’t get the wrong idea now..!), and were chatting “hello farang”, and laughing when they
got a “sawatdee, khrap” (my only Thai at that point) back. I stayed like that for about 3 hours and had collected a huge bag of the cockles (“much better than cockroaches” my girl told me). When we got back to the hotel,
my girl went home to change, and give the cockles to the bar, and I agreed to meet her later. By then after 3 hours with the sun on my back, I was feeling decidedly dodgy, and was probably suffering with some sunstroke, and fell asleep. By the
time I woke up it was gone 1am and pissing with rain. I really didn’t feel like going to the party, and since I’d already paid my due for last night, decided to just have a quick drink in the hotel bar. There I met a British couple
who I’d met in the hotel the very first night, who had just arrived in Pattaya to live for 6 months or so. They asked why I had no girl, and I then decided I did want to my girl again. But on the way to meet her, I got sidelined by this
most amazing little thing about 40 yards up the road in St. Tropez bar. She was really pretty, had a lovely pair of boobs, and was wearing a really sexy little black dress (and it was raining remember!). I bar fined her on the spot and took her
back to the hotel without even staying for one drink.

Cee, as I’ll call her, was 22, had been in Pattaya just 3 months, and was really great. She was a little shy to start with, but then she really let go and we spent the whole night f***ing like wild minks.

Next afternoon she disappeared off as she had to move apartments, so I phoned Bee to say I’d not be able to see her anymore as I’d met someone. Within about 20 minutes she was at my hotel, and we were back in bed (terrible aren’t
I?). When Cee turned up later I suggested both girls giving me a massage (to rub after-sun into my back and shoulders honestly!) but they having none of it, so Cee went off in a sulk, and Bee and I went back to bed for another quickie. On her
way back to her hotel she said she had to buy some clothes as she told her boy friend that she was going shopping. I went with her and offered to buy her a couple of tee shirts. She initially declined, but I insisted as it had been the first mention
of money between us.

That night I went back to St. Tropez, and met Cee again and I kept her with me for the rest of my holiday. Next day we met some of her friends on the beach in Pattaya (Thai girl and her UK Hong-Kong expat boyfriend), and later went to Lucifer’s
disco (not really my cup of tea), and then to Polo bar (my first go-go – I loved that). Ended up all playing pool in Walking St, and finally got to bed at about3am. That night beer had got the better of my little man, but didn’t
stop me trying for many hours (I’m sure you know how it is!). Missed breakfast next morning and got woken by the inevitable call from reception – “You check out now?” at 5 minutes to 12:00.

My mini-bus to the airport was booked for 4pm so we lounged by the pool (where she picked me a small pink flower from one of the bushes –which I still have by the way) and wandered down to Beach Road for a last drink. As the bus left
we said our goodbyes and I promised her I see her again.

When I got home I mused on what had happened.

Had I had a good time? You bet I had. More shags in a week than in the last 2-3 years of marriage!

Was I in love? With the whole idea of Thailand – yes, but not really with any of the girls.
Would I go back? I’d promised 2 girls I’d see them again, and I never promise if I won’t keep it (if I’m not
sure I say maybe or probably), and I’d not got to Koh Chang either.
I thought very seriously about moving out there to live for about a year, maybe by Xmas. Using some of the equity released from the house when the divorce got settled.

I told my work that I’d be leaving around the end of the year and they said they’d be sorry

to see me go, and arranged find a replacement for me. He was due to start in mid October to give time for a decent handover, but I thought this was unnecessarily long and decided I would return to Thailand again in November – just to be sure it
was what I wanted. Within 2 weeks my flights were booked for November.

I kept in touch with Ae and Cee by e-mail every week or so, and told them I’d be back soon…..

Stickman's thoughts:

Comments to follow.

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