The Myth Of The Soul Mate
God observed Adam looking disconsolate and bored amidst the garden’s bounty and beauty. He said to his Archangel…”I must enhance my plan for mankind”.
God’s voice resonated in Adam’s mind: “Adam; I see you are unhappy and are missing something in your life. I will create for you a help mate. Someone to keep you company, to prepare your meals, to wash your raiment, someone to clean your abode and support you in all your endeavors. This will bring joy to your life and a happy countenance to your face.”
“Wow; that sounds great, Lord!” replied Adam.
“Not so fast, Adam…this is not a freebie. This blessing comes with a cost and great responsibility.” “What will it cost me Lord?” Adam asked. “An arm and a leg.” answered God. Adam thought a moment and asked “what can I get for a rib?
The rest my friends is history.
No wait; there’s more…
As Adam felt that slight void in his rib cage; a strangely beautiful creature materialized in front of him. Adam gazed at his new help mate and to God’s chagrin, there was no joy in Adam’s heart nor happiness in his countenance.
The Archangel said “My Lord…even I can see this will not work. I do not think Adam will stay with her.” God pondered this. Then as Adam’s mind tried to fathom the words for:
“When is dinner?” God sprinkled the super-charged procreation gene into Adam’s DNA and man’s first words to Eve echoed throughout the garden:
“Stand back…I don’t know how big it’s going to get!” and the rest is history!
I put to you that this whole idea of “a soul mate” is a new age concept rooted in generations of western conditioning. There was a time “a help mate” was essential to survival on an individual basis as well as to us humans as a species.
Is a “help mate” essential to our survival now? Perhaps not to individual survival; but the right “help mate” can assure emotional well-being and can be the greatest contributor to attaining success in today’s society. Hence the oft quoted “Behind every successful man is a good woman.”
Somewhere along the line with societies, religions, art and literature and political emphasis on celebrating, promoting and protecting the monogamous union of a man and woman…the wonderful and practical concept of a “help mate” turned into the romantic notion of a “soul mate”. We have seen it. Two people so good for each other that they were “meant” to be together. Maybe our parents were like that; maybe some of our neighbors, our friends.
These successful unions were not borne as a result of “love at first sight” or an instant recognition that this is the person I was meant to spend my life with. Love grows, love develops, love evolves, love proves itself over many years of commitment to mutual goals, plans and the well-being of one’s significant other.
Monogamy is not for everyone. Paul Harvey, a U.S. radio commentator routinely announces the wedding anniversaries of couples married fifty, sixty and even seventy years. If you are one of those individuals who travel to exotic locations to “see the World” and “experience life”; you are probably not monogamy material.
When you see that most beautiful Thai princess; are smitten, experience love at first sight and upon “getting to know her” over an intense two weeks, realize that she is your soul mate…ask yourself “Do I need a soul mate?” As Tina Turner vocally expresses “What’s love got to do with it?”
Drop back a couple of generations and view your Eve, your Venus in the context of a “help mate”. What are my goals? What are her goals? Will she contribute to accomplishing my plans? Will she be a good mother? Will she keep an organized and efficient household? Will she contribute to our prosperity through her career accomplishments? Will she be good natured and enhance my happiness?
Now if you are an expat looking to settle in Thailand…perhaps many of these questions will be yes and a long courtship may confirm that, leading to a long and happy marriage where people will say “They are soul mates”.
Loving someone; being “in love” with someone does not necessarily mean we are “meant” to be with them or even should be with them.
I met my Thai princess and in two weeks fell madly, wonderfully in love with her…then I left. No e-mail, no phone number; just left. Two years later, I still occasionally look at her photo, still appreciate the memory of that two weeks; perhaps still love her a bit. She changed my life in that two weeks.
Like a visit to the Louvre to gaze upon the Mona Lisa or the Venus de Milo…an unforgettable experience of love; but neither of those paintings belong on my living room wall.
I will end with this bit of homespun wisdom from the wall of a club rest room: “No matter how beautiful she is…she is making some man’s life a living hell”
But of course she could still be your soul mate!
For me, an excellent submission.