Sometimes you just can’t figure out what goes on in their pretty little heads. It’s not like we had any kind of relationship other than a straight forward, P4P business deal. How can this possibly turn into an emotional battleground in the
space of a few meetings replete with the shouting and the tears and the threats and the throwing of glass objects?
Beggars belief. Really!
When I first met Baa she was working as a service girl at Suzie Wong. She was wearing that red Chinese style, figure-hugging uniform and although she was no spring chicken, she could still turn a head, so to speak.
Nothing much happened on that first evening. Suzie Wong’s had some pool tables upstairs at that time. I have no idea if they are still there or not. Baa and I spent a few hours up there playing pool. It was also a late night lock-in
place so we had a few after hours drinks too. I do remember that when she let me out, Soi Cowboy was deserted and all the neon signs were turned off. That was that. I tipped her for her time and went on my way.
Our next meeting occurred a few weeks later. Baa was still working at Suzie Wong but this time she was outside pulling people into the joint. When I walked past, Baa spotted me and dragged me in. I had a few drinks and eventually paid her
bar fine. We ate at an all night restaurant in Thong Lor and after supper she took me back to her apartment, nearby. In the morning I paid my dues and left. No big deal, right?
I walked up and down Soi Cowboy a few times over the next few months but Baa was never there. You know how these girls are. Here one minute, gone the next. I wasn’t bothered. I wasn’t really looking for her. In fact I might
have been looking to avoid her on some occasions.
I was satisfied that she had moved on then one evening quite by chance who should I spy sitting at one of those temporary late night foodstalls on Sukhumvit but the Suzie Wong lady herself.
I accepted her invitation to join her and her friend for a late snack and one last beer. Baa’s friend, who I did not know at this point, was a younger model and the very proud owner of a terrific pair of legs. Her name was Pai and
I didn’t need to be asked twice.
I’m not sure who persuaded whom that this was a good idea but presently the three of us headed off to my suite at The Omni Tower on Sukhumvit Soi 4. We picked up some more beer and essentials at the 7 Eleven by the Rajah Hotel and
made it to my room around 3.30 in the morning.
Baa seemed to be OK. She sat in the living room, turned on MTV and opened a can of Heineken. She told me that Pai would “take care of me” in the bedroom and she was happy to wait in the lounge. Pai had already made off to the
shower and seemed to be fully ware of the arrangements.
This was all OK with me. Pai was more than acceptable and as I was to soon find out, took great pride in her work. However, at sometime around 05.00 she announced that she had to go home and it was time to pay the bill. No problem. I handed
over the appropriate amount of folding and off she went. Baa was asleep on the couch in front of the TV.
Baa stirred on hearing the door close as Pai left and decided to join me in the bed for what was left of the early morning. I drove her home around ten. She was swigging from a can of Heineken as I drove her up Sukhumvit Road towards her
apartment. I dropped her off, paid her for her services and went about my business.
Months went by and I did not see Baa or Pai again. Then, who should be working outside Suzie Wong as I walked by one evening but the irrepressible Baa. She sprang out at me as I was strolling down the street minding my own business and all
but manhandled me into the bar. It was all in good fun and I didn’t really mind. On this occasion it appeared to me that Baa had assumed the role of my personal pimp. She kept pointing to the dancing girls on the stage and asking me which
one I wanted. She did not seem to be angry or annoyed, just doing her job. I politely declined her offers to get one or any of the dancers to come and join me because I just like to do this on my own. It’s a personal thing. But as the evening
wore on one of the dancing girls did catch my eye. I pointed her out to Baa and she scampered off to retrieve the little princess so I could have a closer look.
Sure enough, Baa and the object of my ill intentions were also friends. We all played around a bit in the bar and had a few drinks. Presently Joy offered to treat me to a double act with Baa if I wanted.
If I wanted!? I thought it would have been churlish to refuse so I manfully accepted.
I had surrendered my suite at Omni Towers by this time so we had to make do with an ordinary short time hotel in the vicinity. As the three of us made our way to the hotel, I remember wondering if tonight was going to be another one-at-a-time
procession or perhaps we could arrange more of a Roman Emperor kind of experience. I decided to wait and see how it panned out.
So, we checked in, got to the room and got down to the business at hand. This is where things started to go a bit pear-shaped.
I mentioned earlier that Baa was no spring chicken but she was in pretty good nick, it has to be said. Joy, on the other hand had looked pretty damned good in the bar but now, kneeling on the bed in the altogether and being a very fit twenty
something, she out-classed Baa in most departments, or was that all departments.
I can only guess that in this situation, Baa must have thought that she was entitled to the first lick of the lolly so to speak. Maybe it had something to do with the Thai class system I don’t know, but when first honour went to the
younger and prettier Joy, Baa’s reaction was both noisy and unexpectedly violent.
She screamed at me and danced around the room in a temper tantrum. At first I looked on in bemusement but when she began throwing ashtrays and beer bottles at me and Joy, I decided something had to be done before somebody got hurt.
I wrapped my arms around Baa to keep her from throwing things. She was hissing and spitting like a viper and wailing like a Banshee. When she bit a chunk out of my shoulder I decided that things had gone far enough. I asked her quietly to
behave herself or I would throw her out into the corridor, as she was, bare-arsed naked. This did not really help as Baa continued howling and wailing. In between breaths, she told me that I didn’t understand anything and how could I not
see that she was in love me and what did I want other women for and blah, blah bloody blah.
I could not believe this was happening. In my opinion the whole point of paying a hoe is that you get your end wet without any emotional fall-out. Now however, did not seem the most appropriate time to convey this point of view to Baa.
My guess is that Joy had seen this or a version of this event before because she remained very cool. She didn’t interfere. She didn’t offer any advice. She just quietly got dressed and sat in the armchair watching the proceedings.
She wasn’t going anywhere until she had been paid, that was a given.
Baa continued for the next thirty minutes oscillating between rage and despair and every time I thought she had got it out of her system, off she would go again.
What does it say in the handbook about dealing with this situation? Do I throw her out? She’d only scream and shout and bang on the door if I did. It was a nightmare.
Finally she calmed down enough to agree to leave quietly although it was plain to see the
rage in her went right through to the core. This was one messed up female and I was not convinced that she would actually leave quietly even after she said she would. Eventually she did leave spitting obscenities as she went. I hoped our paths would not
Thankfully, I have not seen Baa since but in the interests of self- preservation, these days I always cross to the other side of the street when passing Suzie Wong’s, just in case the Banshee is back.
It can't be denied that some of these girls can go crazy in the blink of an eye.