Stickman Readers' Submissions July 17th, 2006

Do Thai Women Drive You To Suicide?

By The Thinker

Mr. Stick made me ponder the above question when he posted his weekly piece entitled "We're dropping like flies".

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In particular his mention of some farangs leaping out of hi-rises and whether they were pushed or not.

Well, I can relate to some extent to this urge, as it happened to me some years ago when I was in a long term relationship with a Thai girl.

This particular girl, lets call her X, was working in a go go bar in Soi Cowboy ,but when I saw her there, she was new to this occupation and you could tell she was not happy doing it. She was wearing a one piece swim suit and as soon as
she finished her stint up there she covered up in a dressing gown. What struck me about her was her height, long legs,long hair, sexy face
and voluptuous figure.

I asked her to sit with me and she was very shy and seemed uncomfortable in
her demeanour.

Which made me all the more interested in her, as she was not the run of the
mill type of girl.

Anyway, to cut to the chase , I barfined her and took her out to eat then
back to my place for the night. During this time she never really relaxed
despite my efforts to make her feel safe and being very gentle with her.
very little English on her part we struggled along with my rudimentary
Thai and I asked her to stay on with me until the end of my trip to try to
get to know each other.

Eventually over the next few days she loosened up and we had a nice time
until it was time for me to depart.

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The fact is that by the time I had to leave, I was totally besotted with her
and assured her that I'll look her up again on my next trip in a couple of

And so 2 months down the track, on arrival to Bangkok I rushed over to Soi
Cowboy to the same bar and low and behold there she was up on the podium
just like that first night I saw her.

I sat down and ordered a drink waiting for her to notice me. soon after she
turned and I saw the recognition in her eyes, wide eyed disbelief! She
immediately came off the stage ,tears running down her cheeks, rushing into

She said she could not believe that I'd come back to see her. So, after
paying the barfine ,off we went and that was the last time she ever worked
in a go go bar or any other like place.

I told her she must get a regular job if she wants to see me again and I
would help her financially to supplement her earnings. As she was a chef
before, she got a job eventually in a hotel and I would send her money
every month
as a supplement so she could have a better lifestyle and enable
her to help her parents, who were poor farmers.

I found out in time that she was enticed to work in a bar by a "friend", who
also worked there and who eventually managed to marry a German guy who took
her there with him.

I think X wanted a similar happy ending for herself and she figured working
in a bar will get her dream come true.

I, on the other hand , was not interested in this scenario, what I wanted was
a "mia noi", who was there for me when I was in Thailand every 2-3 months on
business. I thought if I gave her the financial rewards and the "title"

wife in Thailand ,she would be happy to comply. After all ,it was still much
better than what she was doing when I met her and this set up is not
uncommon in Thailand ,where some of my Thai associates were involved in this

She took me up country to meet her parents and we did a traditional Thai
wedding ,the full hog with sin sot, honey moon, party ,the works and cost was
no problem for me, what I expected was commitment and loyalty. We went to
together as my time allowed, to places like Hong Kong, Malaysia, all
the islands in Thailand, mountain resorts, you name it we went there. Pretty
soon, she stopped working and I sent her to school to improve her English
,then she finished
her high school diploma and enrolled at university.
I was coming and going back and forth , looking forward to the times in
Thailand when we could be together again for a while.

One day ,when she was at university ,I was in a taxi and got into a
conversation with the driver about my situation in Bangkok with the Thai
wife and he told me that in 95% of cases like this, the Thai girl can not
stay faithful
to her farang ,as she feels lonely and will stray. I said to
him, not mine, no way, I take good care of her and she loves me! He just

Anyway, to cut a long story short, not long after this, X and I had a big
argument about our relationship, as she wanted more than what I was able to
give her, in other words she wanted to emulate her friend who ended up in
she wanted the full commitment, moving to my country ,etc. It just
so happened that at this time her girlfriend was back in Bangkok with her
husband and some of his friends and they invited X to join them on a 3 day
holiday to Pattaya.

So X decided to do just that and left me alone in the apartment in Bangkok.
This is the time when I felt such despair that I can relate to some farangs
taking the drastic step of leaping. I was not actually close to doing
although it crossed my mind as an option, but I can emphatize with some
people who feel so desperate and feel abandoned ,in particular when they
feel that they held up their side of a bargain and then were let down.
It happens to people
who are not into butterflying but look for a long term

Anyway, after 3 days ,X came back and apparently her attempt at looking for
greener pastures did not work out, so we reconciled ,but things were never
the same after that.

We still stayed in this setup for another 3 or 4 years, during which I bought
her a townhouse and increased her stipend, but it just made her even more
demanding for more material things, while she would play with my emotions
when she felt like it. Eventually, I suspected she took up with a Thai guy
during one of my absences, and things got so bad between us that it was time
to cut all ties with her. Fortunately, by then I was more angry than
so I had it out with her and packed up my belongings and left.

I guess the taxi driver was right after all, but for a while it made me
wonder if things would have turned out differently if I was able and willing
to 100% commit to her and be with her full time.

I do not wonder about it anymore, in retrospect now, I see that we had
clashing personalities that would have caused problems in the long run
eventually. But those days, I could not see the forest for the trees and
when your brain
is not thinking logically and you mistakenly believe that
she is the only person in the world ,without her you could not exist, then
you may do things that are foolish.

Jumping off a 24 story hi-rise is irreversible, as you fly past the 15th
floor and you'd like to change your mind, too bad, buddy!

Stickman's thoughts:


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