A Thai Girl Nightmare

I met “Sara” on one of the online dating sites last February. I was coming to BKK in March for a 3 month visit with the possibility of extending my stay. I had previously been in BKK for a short 3 week holiday late last year, absolutely
loved the place, the weather, the atmosphere and the beautiful girls, and was (and still am) seriously thinking of putting down roots here. I have a couple of farang friends who have settled here, so I decided to come for a longer visit this time
and see how the land lies…so to speak… anyway…

About a month or so before my visit I wrote to probably about 30 or so Thai girls from various sites and got lots of replies, mostly positive. After some initial chatting on MSN Messenger and exchanging numbers etc, I had arrangements to
meet about 12 girls during my visit and was looking forward to it…I met some really nice, friendly girls, all professionals… “Sara” was the 2nd last date I had arranged and we hit it off so well straight away. She wasn’t
anywhere near as attractive as any of the other girls I had met so far, she was 28, a little overweight, teeth a bit crooked, but her personality was so overwhelming and we both found ourselves missing each other so much after our first date.

We spent a lot of time together over the next couple of weeks, we got on so well together. I had found an apartment beside one of the BTS stations and she was staying over most nights which her family were not too happy about really. She
is probably quite unusual for a Thai, in that she has a mind of her own. She is not a Buddhist, although the rest of her family are, they try to control her life so much, especially her mother, but “Sara” is pretty strong willed
and does her own thing, makes her own decisions etc which I suppose is pretty admirable really considering the way Thai society operates.

She works for one of the Government law agencies and is planning on opening an attorney’s office after her final law exams in around 18 months, so she’s got her head screwed on the right way, well educated and intelligent and
has her life and her future all planned out for herself.

Although I liked her a lot, I was still seeing some of the other girls at the same time on and off, and Thailand being Thailand, I continued to meet other girls (not bargirls or freelancers) in various places without much effort on my part
really. Anyone who has been in Thailand will know what I am talking about…

So, I’ve got the best of both worlds really, I’m seeing other girls at my leisure and I’ve got “Sara” totally and genuinely head over heels in love with me and I figure that this is my chance to get my roots
settled with a nice girl and sort out my future in L.O.S….

There is a serious downside however… “Sara” is so jealous and insecure when it comes to relationships. I find this out pretty quickly but figure that I can sort of live with it and put it aside… she has absolutely NO idea
about the other girls as I am very careful… anyway… time comes for my 3 month visa to expire, money’s running out and after discussing it at length together, I decide to return home to UK and work for 3 months, return in September and
set up home with her with a view to making it a permanent arrangement and getting married in late 2007. So I leave some clothes and other various bits and pieces from my apartment with her until my return…

I get home to UK and the insecurity on her part kicks in. She got a bit of stick from some of her work colleagues because she had a farang boyfriend (apparently it’s not the done thing for a government employee and “if she was
a “NICE” girl, she wouldn’t be with a farang!” These people and their selfish and sometimes racist attitudes really piss me off sometimes…

So, these a-holes at her work (I have met most of them and they were all pretty friendly to me etc) know that I’m back in the UK, they know I am returning and we are getting married…

They start flirting with her, inviting her out to dinner etc and telling her that farang are no good and that I am probably seeing lots of girls in UK… Pricks!

I’ve been home about 7 weeks now and over the past few weeks I get email after email, phone call after phone call from her saying that she’s not happy and needs me there with her. She constantly asks me if I am seeing other
girls here, I tell her I’m not (which is true) and that I am only interested in her… anyway, this goes on, same old thing every day, she’s crying on the phone and after days and weeks of this it’s pissing me off so bad.

Last week I get a message on one of the sites from a really pretty Thai girl asking me for my e-mail address etc, something sounds fishy and I realise that it’s not what it seems. I know it’s either her or one of her so-called
friends, so anyway, I reply and sure enough the very next day I get an e-mail from “Sara” asking why I lied to her, why am I writing to other girls online etc? Why am I false? Why did you make me dream and then hurt me?

Bollocks to this! I’ve had enough and I write back and tell her that enough is enough, I can’t live with all this jealousy and suspicion. I tell her I don’t like being “set up” and tell her that it’s
over. I ask her to give my things to one of my farang friends who will store them for me until I get back to BKK.

This is where she gets nasty! And it’s a side of her that I had never witnessed before, indeed never thought possible even.

She tells me that she will NOT give my things to my friend and only to me when I return to BKK. If I insist on sending my friend round to collect, she will make life in BKK very difficult for him and his wife and kids, and she is perfectly
capable of doing this too because of her job and her connections in the various Thai government law enforcement agencies.

So, I am now left with no choice but to leave my things with her. The things have no value really, just a few shirts etc and a fan and a lamp etc. Now I am wondering if it’s really worth my while attempting to get my things back or
not…and whether she’ll have “something in store for me” on my return… Do I arrive at Don Muang in September and suddenly get whisked away by the boys in brown because I am in possession of something I shouldn’t
have?

I know it’s not a far fetched notion and it’s certainly true what they say about “a woman scorned”.

Maybe I’m just being paranoid or over reacting, but after reading the article “we’re dropping like flies” a couple of weeks ago on this site, it really makes you think about your personal safety in the L.O.S. and
certainly makes me think more than twice about getting seriously involved with a Thai girl again, especially one who works for the Government!

I’m 46 and I’m pretty fit really. I’ve practiced Aikido and Ju-Jitsu for over 18 years to a very high standard and I am more than capable of looking after myself, but with corruption being so deep rooted as it is in the
L.O.S. and especially with her job and the connections she has, I wouldn’t really like to spend any amount of time in the Bangkok Hilton just because a girl is pissed that I dumped her…

I will return to BKK soon, probably not in September, but I will be back. I guess when I do return, I will just have to keep my head low for a bit until it blows over… if it ever does that is!

Stickman's thoughts:

There are a number of issues here worth considering. The first is that, as crazy as it sounds, getting involved with a woman who has connections can come back to haunt you if things go bad. This can happen anywhere, it is just that it is more likely to happen in these parts.

I would forget your clothes, fan and whatever other items of yours she has. Leave them with her. You have no need for them. In fact I would be tempted to send her an email saying that commitments will keep you in the UK. If she doesn't think you're returning to Thailand, all the better. Avoiding her would be for the best. She has the potential to be very nasty.