Readers' Submissions

The Battle Plan Is The First Casualty of War

  • Written by Will
  • June 29th, 2006
  • 5 min read


Black Pagoda Patpong Bangkok

My previous submission; "The Fishing Trip" told the regular tale about someone’s…uh…my first trip to Thailand. And ended with me announcing that I was going back to LOS. Well, that second trip is now a couple of weeks off. And having read submissions to site until my eyes where sore, and my head hurt, I have come up with a battle plan.

But first a little more about myself. I hail from the northern end of Europe. Where political correctness is slowly suffocating anyone that does not quite fit in the mould. My hometown is a small industrial town where employment is reserved for those willing to walk in their fathers’ footsteps and become a welder at the shipyard, or have some kind of other connections that may secure them lifetime employment as a drone in the service industry. But not everyone is cut out for that. So most opt out of there. Of my friends from my high school days in the mid to late 80's only one is still living there.

Education was never my deal. I had few but very close friends, and they all left for their university studies and never looked back. And as for the girls. Well, I had many girls that where close, but just as friends. I am not ugly but I am no prince charming either. Every girl I have ever known have always told me I am too nice. I never really had what can be described as a real girlfriend. Oh yes, I have been in love, but some brutal rejections in my younger years left me quite shy when it comes to making advancements towards the female gender. So most of the girls I have known have either been my friends’ girlfriends or work colleagues.

So in the end, with no friends left in town, and the girls that preferred the guy who had secured that welding job and was ready to secure a mortgage to get that house, over me who had other plans, but no education with which to realize them I made my escape. First national service in the armed forces, then volunteer to go to places like the Middle East and later the Balkans. I picked up the skills that now are my trade. And I also picked up some mind baggage that I know will come back and haunt me some day. But so far the ghosts have stayed away. I also finally got laid at age 24.

It was a Russian hooker in a Middle Eastern country that finally ran away with my virginity…and a bundle of cash. I was on my way back to the hotel after a round in the bars, and having been to shy as usual to make any advance towards the opposite sex, I finally just left the lads and headed for the hotel. She was standing on a corner, spotted me, went straight for me, grabbed my balls and said: 50$ long time…the rest is history.

Move forward a few years. Hookers had become my normal release. It was so easy. Just had to show up in the right place and having someone soft and naked to cuddle up to would be the result for a few hours. I was out of the army and now did consultant work for various international organisations. 6 months there, a month here, with a few months break in between. It was great and still is.

On a break from a job in Iraq I went to Aya Napa on Cyprus. I was alone, and was just walking the streets when a taxi driver came by and asked if I was looking for girls. Affirmative!

He took me to a Go Go bar outside town. I had been there for 30 seconds when this beautiful angel attached herself to me. I spent the evening there, accumulating an enormous bill in lady drinks as the rule was that you could only leave with the girls after the place closed. I spent the night with her. And agreed to meet her the next day. I ended up spending a week with her. It was my very first Girl Friend Experience. And it what a fantastic week it was. But all good things come to an end. I went back to Iraq, was soon evacuated and had to return to my native land without a job. I never saw her again.

I soon found employment again. This time in Africa. But never took a chance on the HIV ridden ladies of the night you can find there. Instead it was back to the Russian hookers of the various Middle Eastern Oasis like Beirut and Dubai. Had some good parties but never the GFE.

Skip forward again to present day. Now I am somewhere in Asia. Two months ago I had a fantastic two week trip to LOS. You can read all about it here.

And here is my Battle Plan:

1. I intend to fly into Bangkok and immediately proceed to Pattaya and check into some hotel that is liberal when it comes to visitors.

2. I will then proceed to the first Beer Bar that I dare enter. (Remember I am a bit on the shy side).

3. I will choose a girl that I fancy, not to young looking to avoid trouble with the authorities and prevent us looking to ridiculous. I am 36, so walking hand in hand with someone that looks like she could be my daughter will just leave me feeling embarrassed, even in Pattaya.

4. I will buy her a couple of drinks, have a few myself find out what her "tip" will be, and then bar fine her.

4. If she prefers it we will eat something, go to a disco and dance a little before heading to the Hotel and have some fun.

5. The girl will check her ID in the reception and they will record the data.

6. Left to your imagination (but remember I am a quite straight and nice guy (read kind

hearted fool).

7. Buy us breakfast, give her a tip and kill time waiting for the next evening by having some massage, eat something, and generally being lazy.

8. Find a new beer bar and repeat the procedure.

Sounds good, right?

Except being the kind hearted fool, longing for the illusion of love and the whole emotional thing…well. As some general once said…the Battle Plan is the first casualty of War.


Stickman's thoughts:

Busy, busy, no comments today.