Stickman Readers' Submissions June 28th, 2006

It’s All Lies!

By VitaMan

Once upon a time, many years ago, I walked into a bar in Soi Cowboy in a chemically ecstatic altered state of mind. I don’t know if that justifies what happened afterwards, but perhaps that is why I fell in love with a bar girl. Before I go on,
let me qualify here that I had always advised friends and first timers to Thailand never to fall in love with a bar girl, so the following story is proof that even the most experienced Bangkok denizen is not immune to the wiles of a beautiful
bar girl.

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I first saw her bending over getting something out of her bag next to the go-go stage. Unlike the other girls who were (almost) dressed in bikinis, she was dressed in a long skirt and had a most appealing rear. I couldn’t resist giving
her a friendly tap on the most rounded part of her anatomy. Her reaction was immediate. She whirled around and cursed me loudly.

Undeterred, I offered her a drink and we were soon ensconced on stools at the bar getting to know each other. Let’s call her Daeng, just in case there are any innocents worth protecting in this story.

Daeng was drinking tequilas like water, and I was starting to feel the effects of some very potent chocolate I had cooked up with the addition of an excellent substance from Lebanon. Within an hour we were both starry eyed and I was feeling
very horny.

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Bar fine paid, we jumped into a cab and headed for the motel with mirrors on the walls and ceiling and The Chair (more on the chair later). If you still haven’t recognized the place, it’s off Soi Nana. We stumbled into the room
and I moved stealthily up behind her.

She turned and slapped me with a roundhouse on the face that stunned me. It didn’t hurt, but it sure surprised me. I asked her why she hit me. She said that it was for patting her bum before I’d even met her. Then she raced
off to the bathroom with a laugh and emerged about 5 minutes later wrapped in just a towel with a seductive look on her face. The game was on, and what a night it was to be.

We both got into my chemical bag and then we started getting to know each other as intimately as any man and woman can. I don’t mean just physically. There was an incredibly strong connection there I hadn’t ever felt with another
bar girl before. She knew all the right buttons to push to get me going, and somehow I knew the right buttons too. As the night progressed we connected body and soul. We opened up to each other and the love talk was tender at times, and other
times it was more ribald and exciting than anything I had ever experienced before. We were both having a wonderful time.

The Chair was a lot of fun. It had stirrups, much like an obstetrician's chair, and Daeng lay back, legs cocked in the air with her legs wide open. All I had to do was step up to the plate, so to speak. We tried everything possible that
night. We’d been at it for about 3 hours, I guess, when she stopped riding on top of me and looked down at my face. “What have you done to me?”

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I looked up, out of breath, and asked her the same question. Our feelings for each other were so intense by now that we couldn’t get enough. The ecstasy just seemed to keep on building and by the time we went to sleep in the morning
we were wrapped in each other’s arms like we never wanted to break apart.

When we woke up she returned to the bar and I returned to my long-suffering wife feeling happier and more content than I’d ever felt in my life. My heart was literally bursting with joy.

Now let me explain about my now ex-wife. She came from a very wealthy Thai-Chinese family. When I met her she was a youngish virgin who had led a very sheltered life. She only knew how to get from her house to her job and back. She hardly
knew Bangkok, even though she had lived here all her life. We got married for all the wrong reasons. I didn’t love her, but I wanted to stay here and having a Thai wife would help my visa applications. She wanted a farang husband to boost
her social standing. Despite this, we started our married life reasonably happy. The only reason I was able to marry her was because her father had died a couple of years earlier. If he had still been around I would never have been allowed near
her. I think her big brother, the head of the family, was pleased to get her off his hands. He had his own family and she was in the way.

After a few years of marriage we were both feeling very dissatisfied. She wasn’t into sex and no matter what I tried she would not stray from the traditional missionary position. She was much more interested in building up her business.
It wasn’t until her very butch looking female driver started bringing her home late each night that I suspected my wife had lesbian tendencies. I questioned her about it but she denied it. Lie number one.

Despite this I tried to be a good husband and my night out with Daeng was the first time I had ever stayed out all night. Now don’t get me wrong. My wife knew she wasn’t giving me the satisfaction I wanted, so the Chinese part
of her didn’t mind if I took my pleasure outside the house as long as I didn’t embarrass her. I guess staying out all night was an embarrassment. She didn’t say anything the first time it happened, but I could see she wasn’t

When I arrived home in the morning all I could think of was my new bar girl friend. I called her up about 11 am and when she answered I heard her sigh like she had just been relieved of an intense suffering. It was incredibly attractive to
hear because I knew she felt as strongly as me.

I couldn’t wait to see her again, so at two that afternoon I was at the bar and bar fined Daeng once more. We raced to another hotel and spent the whole night together again.

Before long we couldn’t stand being apart from each other. I would stay overnight with her and then she would return to the bar in the morning. We kept in touch by phone as often as possible when we were apart. This was in the days
before mobile phones so I had to call her at the bar. The mamasan wasn’t happy about it, but as long as I kept paying the bar fines there wasn’t much she could do.

It wasn’t too long before my wife confronted me and said, “Look, I don’t mind if you sleep with other girls, but please come home at night.”

I told her that I had found a girl I loved spending my nights with. She asked me to bring Daeng home to live with us. I was stunned, but on reflection it seemed like an excellent idea, so I returned to the bar to discuss it with Daeng. She
wasn’t keen on it at first, but after I agreed to pay her a monthly amount equal to her earnings at the bar she agreed.

We all finished up in bed together and to this day I am not sure who had more fun there, my wife or me. First lie exposed.

This idyllic life continued for 2 months and I got to know Daeng better. One night she told me that she was already married to a European guy who came to Thailand every two months to stay with her and she would have to go stay with him soon.
This shocked me, because she had never mentioned it before. I pleaded with her not to go, but she said that he was very rich and she had to go if she wanted to inherit his money. She explained that he had Leukemia and he could die any time. He
was too weak to sleep with her, so I needn’t worry that she was going to be ‘unfaithful’ to me. Another lie or two.

She went to stay with her husband and my wife and I sat down to talk about our relationship. Although she was having fun in bed we all found the strain of living together difficult. My wife didn’t like the fact that Daeng was a bar
girl from a different class. We decided to separate for a while and wait to see how things developed. So when Daeng returned we moved out together and my wife went home to stay with her family. The separation turned out to be permanent.

Every two months the European husband would return, Daeng and I would quarrel, and she would assure me again and again that she wasn’t sleeping with him. I found it hard to believe her, but whenever I told her that she said, “You
don’t love me!” and I would repent and assure that I did. I didn’t want to lose her.

One night, a year after we had met I followed her and found out where she and her husband lived. I returned the next evening and hid in the bushes across the road in a vacant lot and watched them through a pair of binoculars <I could offer you some part-time work!Stick>. I saw her get into bed and then watched as he came into the room and turned off the light. There was no further movement in the house as I watched for the next 30 minutes, my ankles suffering thousands of mosquito

When she came back to me I confronted her with my ‘evidence’. She blew up and tried to turn the tables on me, but I knew what I had seen. From that moment on our relationship started to sour and within a few more days she went
back to her hometown and didn’t return.

All this time she had been returning home to ‘see her daughter’. However, with all the suspicion that was growing in me I had a feeling she had a Thai ‘husband’ back home as well. Whenever I told her my suspicions
she hotly denied this. I could never prove it, but given her track record I am willing to bet that she did have someone back home as well. She would never take me to her village. There was always an excuse, so I never met her family or got the
chance to see where she lived. I wish Stick had been around then. He could have investigated her and put me out of my misery much sooner. <Nah, sounds like you could have done it quite well yourselfStick>

She was always asking me for money. As long as I gave she would stay with me. If I refused and told her that if she really loved me she wouldn’t keep acting like a bar girl she would pack her bags and leave.

After she was away for a few days the phone calls would start again and we would make up. Then she would return and I would give her more money. After a week or a month she would get moody, we would quarrel, and the cycle started again. It
was like a roller coaster. One minute I would be in heaven, the next I would be in hell.

Finally, after I told her I knew she was sleeping with her husband she left and didn’t return. We still kept in touch by phone and I kept asking her to come back. She kept reassuring me she loved me, but she had to stay in her village
because she was building a house for us. I asked her where she was getting the money and she said she had plenty of money saved up. Another lie, of course. Her husband was paying for it, obviously.

A year later she called me up to tell me the house was ready and she wanted to come back to me now. But the scales had fallen from my eyes and I had spent the last 12 months getting my life back together. I had a new job, good money and I
sure wasn’t going to waste it on her and return to the same vicious cycle I had suffered through before. So I told her not to come back. She was amazed. “Are you sure?” she asked.

Yes, I was sure. So on that note our relationship ended. But not quite. She kept calling me up every now and again telling me how much she missed me, and of course asking for more money. I never sent her any but we still remained ‘friends’.
As my feelings cooled we would talk 3 or 4 times a year, but we never met up again. Each time we talked she reassure me that she was not sleeping with her husband because he was too sick and had no strength.

Fast forward to today. A few days ago she called me up to tell me that she was feeling horny and she really missed me. She also asked me if I would be prepared to go to Europe with her because her husband was very close to death and she would
need my help to collect on the insurance policy he had given her. She offered me one million baht to go. Now, remember this is the woman who had tried hard to bleed me dry when we were together, so I was extremely skeptical.

I asked her how bad her husband was. She said that he was extremely weak and that they hadn’t been able to have sex for five months. Bingo! Finally she had confirmed what I had known all along. She had been sleeping with him, bouncing
into my bed for a change (and more money) and lying to me all the way down the line. Eventually, if you wait long enough, they will always forget at least one of the lies they have told you and trip themselves up. The problem is, can you afford
to wait that long?

So, dear reader, if you have been in a relationship with a bar girl and any of my story sounds familiar, you can be absolutely 100% sure that she is lying to you. As the old joke goes, “How do you know when a bar girl is lying to you?”
The answer? “Whenever she speaks”.

A word of advice to the guy who wrote, This Special BG: Open your eyes my friend. She is not different. She is taking you for a ride with a very well crafted story that just doesn’t

hold up. As Frank Visakay says, learn to play by the rules and you will have a lot of fun without the heartache you are currently experiencing. You sound like a sensitive caring guy. Find a girl who will give you what you want instead of leading you on
with stories and bullshit.

To put it plainly, these girls are toys. Play with the toy until you get bored with it. Then throw it away and find another one to play with. Simple advice, easy to follow, and you will enjoy everything Thailand has to offer without the suffering.

Stickman's thoughts:

An excellent submission, excellent story, and excellent advice.

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