Stickman Readers' Submissions May 22nd, 2006

Pet Peeves From A Thai Girl

By A Decent Thai Girl

I am a constant reader of Stickman's website. I read new stories in the readers' submissions section almost everyday, and I have already sent in a few submissions. Sometimes I feel "som nam naa" for some authors after I read their submissions, because some people really deserve what they get. I just wonder whether they use another organ instead of their brain to think. Or perhaps their brain stops to function properly immediately after they met their Thai darling. I laugh every time after I read something like "I met my girlfriend in a bar. She is really different from other bargirls". Some Farang guys try their luck in various Thai chat rooms, but it seems like they attract only the naughty Thai girls. Birds of the same feather probably flock together. However, there are definitely success stories of the Thai version of "Pretty Woman". But I doubt that the bars or some chat rooms are suitable places to look for your future wife. Some people come to Thailand and pay for sex. If you do or have done so, accept it that you are a sex tourist. Oh…I will shut my mouth and will not tell your relatives, friends or your boss in your home country…that you are a sex tourist. Sex tourists are not necessarily fat, old and bald. They come in all sizes and shapes, including the real dark tall and handsome Farangs who are under forty years old. And then we have the stories about a love-sick Farang guy, who did not initially meet their Thai princess in the bar, and she indeed has a respectable profession; however, she has already had a boyfriend. Before getting married some Thai girls have multiple boyfriends, because they consider themselves single. Even some well-educated Thai girls behave themselves like this. Sad but true. You sleep with the girl when her boyfriend is not in Thailand. She tells you she loves you dearly. You wait…wait…and wait, but she is still with her boyfriend. Why should she break up with her boyfriend when she can have both?

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Thailand seems to be Disneyland for adult males indeed, although it has much more to offer than the cheap sex and pretty girls. Some people often forget the differences between Disneyland and the real world. You met a beautiful Thai girl in your favorite bar. You bought her a drink. She could barely speak English, and you could not speak Thai. But that was not a problem for you. You barfined her and took her to your hotel room. After you wake up in the morning, you felt like you had had the best sex in your life. You paid your girl and said goodbye to her. During that day, you cannot get her out of your mind. So you decided to visit your favorite bar again at night to meet your girl. Luckily, she did not have a customer at that time. You repeated the same procedure as yesterday… blah…blah…blah… Next morning you told her you would like her to be your companion for the rest of your holidays in Thailand, and you thought she was different, because she never asked for money besides the barfine. You fell completely head over heels about her. She told she loved you sooo much. Unfortunately you had to return to your home country and got back to your work. No problem.

You kept in touch with her via e-mails, SMS-messages and phone calls. You did not want your girl to work as a prostitute any more, so you sent her a monthly allowance. You trust her that now she worked in a factory in her province. Six months later you flew to Thailand again because you missed your "girlfriend". This time you made a decision to invite her to live with you in your home country for three months. You wanted to marry her afterward. You finally got married to her. Six months later she started drinking more alcohol and stayed late at night gambling with her Thai girl friends, who work in a local Thai restaurant. One day she did not return home. You called her, but her mobile phone was turned off. When she returned the following day, you asked her where she had been. She told you she visited one of her Thai friends. You did not believe her, so you snooped around your wife's mobile phone while she was taking a shower. And…you guess what… You found hundreds of messages from various guys, for examples, John your next door neighbor, Mike from the US, Brian from the UK, Sebastian from Germany, Flavio from Italy, Olivier from France, Eric from Sweden, Hiyoshi from Japan, Kim Won from Korea, etc. What a shock for you! You confronted her with your new found evidence. She denied and said she loved you only. You thought about what she told you recently that she was pregnant. You did not know what to do, so you wrote you story to the infamous Stickman's website. I cannot count how many stories like this appeared on this site. Is she really different? Love/illusion makes blind?

Another type of story that fascinates me is the stories about Thai internet girls. The stories are mostly sanuk to read. You can definitely find a real nice Thai girl who does not have any hidden agenda from the internet. It is just a way to meet new people. But you have to be careful and use your common sense while dating girls that you know from a chat room. The internet girls are mostly more sophisticated and have higher education than their bargirl counterparts. However, good command of English and a high education alone are not an indicator of being a respectable girl. If she hops into your bed without hesitation and drops her knickers the first time she meets you, she is probably a naughty girl who enjoys having sex or a girl who has a hidden agenda that you do not expect. As far as I know, decent Farang women do not usually sleep with a guy after their first date. They do not want to make themselves cheap and sleazy.

In spite of the high percentage of available girls in Thailand, you have to be able to differentiate between girls who are a relationship/marriage material and "girls for fun only". "Fun" in this context is a Thai slang, which means "to have sex with".

I do not understand how someone can marry a prostitute or a girl who behaves like one. Is this a criteria you use to choose a mother for your future children? I do not mean that bargirls are bad people. Most of them probably would not want to work in a bar if they had other options in life. It is just that the sex industry produces an enormous damage on the girls who are in it. Their attitudes towards life change. They become more mercenary and less trustworthy. This makes the relationship with them more difficult. A successful relationship or marriage should be built on love, communication and trust. Either you girlfriend learns to communicate fluently in your native language, or you have to learn Thai. Each partner should be interested in the culture of another partner. Moreover, I often wonder after I read some readers' submissions that some people expect their girlfriend, whom they met in a bar, to be faithful to them, while they are still butterflying and sleeping with other women.

If you come to Thailand for sex, have fun with the girls, pay them and then forget them. If you want to send her a monthly allowance or build a house for her family, that is fine, because you can do whatever you want with you money. However, in my opinion, if you want to help people in the long run, you should taught them how to catch fishes from the sea rather than giving them the fishes. If you give your girl money, she will definitely ask for more and she will take your help for granted. Imagine if someone offers you a monthly allowance which is more than enough to live on, would you still go to work and get less paid? "Sabai" or comfort is an important Thai philosophy. Your girlfriend feels sabai not having to work (in a decent profession) to earn money. Working = Brain using = Not sanuk and not sabai. It is a lot easier for her to ask money from you. So why bother working?

As I told you in the first paragraph, sex tourists are not necessarily a fat, bald and old man. There are a younger version as well. Maybe you are in this category…oopssss …sorry. A few years ago I went home during my vacation. On my flight back to Europe, I happened to sit next to two Swiss guys. Wowww…they were definitely under thirty-five and were good looking. Tall and had dark brown hairs. I like guys who have dark brown hairs. We exchanged some words. I thought in my mind that maybe we could exchange e-mail. At that time I did not have a boyfriend. I asked one of the guys what they did and where they stayed in Thailand. He answered, "We stayed in Nana Hotel". My high interest level dropped rapidly to zero or even minus. I continued reading my Thai book until I reached my destination and only said goodbye to them. There are all kinds of accommodation in Thailand. If one has a limited budget, there are a lot of low-priced accommodations to choose. Nana Hotel, well…you know where it is. I could not imagine that two young Farang guys, who were good looking, would stay in Nana hotel without engaging in the bar scenes in Soi Nana.

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If a girl loves you, regardless of nationalities, she will make an effort to be together with you. No matter where you come from and no matter how far you live. You will be the one and only one in her heart, and she will take times to talk to you, to take care of you and to be with you only. If she has another guy in her life and can get together with you only when he is not with her, you probably met either a player or a girl who does not know what she wants. As I wrote in the first paragraph; why should she break up with her boyfriend when she can have both. Having both guys is easier than having to make a decision to choose only one guy. Cut her loose… You do not deserve to be number two forever. The love of your life may not be a Thai girl. Open up your mind and do not fix with the girls' nationalities.

People should have freedom to express what they think. I did not mean to insult anybody in my submission. It was just my opinion as a Thai, who is a fan of this site, which is about my country.

…Darling…I know you are reading my submission. I love you sooo much and I am really different from other Thai girls, whose stories you can read on this site. Do you believe me, darling?

Stickman's thoughts:

If I had one wish about the readers' submissions section, it would be that more Thai women sent material in. Actually Thai guys too, for that matter.

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