My Experience With Thai Women

My English is far from being perfect, nevertheless I dare to submit here my experience with Thai women. But possibly you may not find the story interesting enough, in that case simply don't post it!

First of all I must say that I have been married to a Thai women for about 25 years. My wife is from Trang, a city in Southern Thailand. She is from a middle class family. I first met her when she was a student at the Chulalongkorn University in Bangkok. At that time I visited the library of this university to search for some good books on the structure and history of Thai language, and she helped me to find such books. From the first moment I saw her I was fascinated by her. At that time I spoke rather little Thai. So in order to get into closer contact with her I asked her to teach me Thai, and she did so for nearly three months. I invited her to dinner several times and she showed me some temples in Bangkok, but nothing more happened. I then had to return to Germany. I could not forget her and we exchanged letters frequently. I later convinced her to come to Germany and to continue studying at a German university. I arranged it so that she could live in a student hostel in my city. We met nearly every day. After about one year during which she learned speaking German rather fluently she moved into my house and from that day on we stayed together. A few months later we went to Thailand, and I got to know her family in Trang. Her family, especially her mother, was rather reluctant to accept me as a son-in-law. Only her father who was a Hokkien (Fijian) Chinese seemed to be willing to accept me as a future member of his family as I could speak Chinese (although not exactly his dialect). Also my parents in Germany were not very happy that I would marry an Asian woman. So we decided to marry in Bangkok. After doing so at the registry office in Huaikwang, Bangkok, we sent telegrams to our parents letting them know that we had married.

Returned home I bought a house on the countryside, my wife soon became pregnant and she did no longer want to continue studying. Altogether we got three sons, now aged 24, 19, and 13 years old. My wife is fully integrated into Germany society, she loves the quiet life in our small village, and she has got many German friends. While working as a teacher I found that my salary was not bad, but living costs were rather high. So one of my sisters-in-law suggested that I should do some export-import business. I found the idea worth trying and I frequently travelled to Thailand and other Asian countries to buy things which I could sell in Europe. As a teacher I was not allowed to do such business, but I used the name of my wife which was (and is) perfectly legal. With my wife I had never any trouble, we live together in harmony, only we had some disputes about the education of our children (I think she is too severe while she thinks I am too lenient…)

However, about five years ago, I began to feel that my wife was no longer enthusiastic about sex. More and more I got the impression that she only slept with me to fulfill a duty. She no longer invited me to have sex with her, but instead I had to give her a signal that I wanted to sleep with her. We spoke about this problem and my wife admitted that she had more or less lost her interest in sex. She could not explain why and was very sorry about it. To my absolute surprise she suggested that I should take a minor wife. She told me: "You are four times a year in Thailand, each time you stay about one month. During this time you cannot possibly stay alone. I am afraid you may sleep with bargirls. Please don't do so, but take a good girl instead as your minor wife. In this case I can be sure you will not get any venereal disease and you will not lose much money… The only condition is that you will never bring her to Europe, never speak to me about her and never bring any photos of her to our house.

Well, I was really amazed, but on second thought I felt that the idea was not bad. In fact I had visited several bars and had taken a few girls to my hotel room. But I never was really satisfied with their service. Above all I hate condoms but you have to use them to protect yourself and your wife. And while sleeping with bargirls I saw that in their eyes was nothing other than money. And about what subject you can talk with such a girl?

But being about 60 years old, with white hair and no longer handsome, how could I find a good girl who would agree to be my minor wife? Well, when in Bangkok I spoke to a good Thai friend of mine. I have known him for a very long time, since he did a doctorate in law in Germany. He later became a judge in Thailand and I kept contact to him over the years. He told me that he would indeed know a Thai lady who might be interested. He told me that this lady was 35 years old (later I learned she was only 31). She was previously married to a Thai with whom she has a four year old daughter. She had left him because he was a gambler and had lost their house and all their money. She had given him a deadline of six months to change his character, otherwise she would leave him. But he only laughed at her, he did not believe her and did not refrain from gambling. So, after six months, she left for Bangkok where she lived with and worked for her elder sister and her husband who ran a shop in Thonburi selling building materials. For this work she got 5000 baht per month.

When we met for the first time I could not believe what I saw. She looked exactly as my wife had looked twenty years ago! I was indeed very interested in her. I told her about my family and mentioned that I did not want to have any more children. During my stay in Bangkok we met several times, but after some weeks I had to return home. I told her that after two months I would be back to Thailand, and she could decide whether to become my minor wife or not.

After my return to Bangkok I called her. She told me that she would like to meet me again. She came to my hotel and we stayed together… Within three days she got a passport, it took only three more days to get a visa for Vietnam, and we flew to Hanoi. I have been together with her for more than four years now, and I am very happy with her.

Sometimes farang friends who meet us in Thailand ask me: "why do you believe she loves you? How can you know she does not love your money? For what reason a woman of 30 years would stay with a man of 60?" Well, I cannot produce any proof to others that she really loves me. But I can read the signals. I believe she respects and even admires me. She told me she loves me because I took her from a rather narrow world to a much wider one. Because I taught her not to feel guilty that she has left her former husband. Because I opened her eyes to many things and took her to countries she had never seen before and had never thought she would ever visit. Because I freed her from the feeling of inferiority. Because I treat her as equal. Because we can speak about any subject. Because we never quarrel. And because I had solved the problems she had with her elder sister, her mother and her former husband (he did not allow her to meet her child; he used their daughter as a means to let her return to him, as he still wanted to be with her. I simply let him know that she now is living with a farang, so he lost immediately his interest in her and had no longer a reason to keep their daughter away from her).

Some people regard her as a gold digger and me as an old ox who wants to eat fresh grass (as a Thai proverb goes). We don't care.

Stickman's thoughts:

Wow, 4 years….a long time. I wonder if the minor wife will ever become the "major wife"?