The Meaning Of Love
As I sit and wait on a bench in the mid-afternoon I ponder the events that will certainly unfold in the near future. Nothing really seems to bother me as I stare out onto a busy road while a middle aged man takes a seat next to me. He initiates the conversation
by making some small talk about some unimportant detail. The exchange of words proceeds to touch upon my nationality and I reveal my country of origin. He has been to Vancouver and we talk for several minutes about the beautiful coastal city.
He notices my attention is drawn away as I gaze upon a halting cab which contains the person I was waiting for. When a woman emerges from the vehicle, he asks me if she was my girlfriend. I really didn’t officially know the answer to that
question as our status had never been discussed. There is a relationship between us but what really are we to each other?
We walk the streets destined for a tea house up the road at a location I would never remember. As we walk a bag sways back and fourth from one of her hands that could contain any object that came to my imagination. We take seat once we arrive at our sought out establishment. While she is ordering for us I drift off and wait for her to present the present. It is Valentine's Day and she has given me a decorative mirror featuring an inner picture of a man and woman embracing. She informs me that her family produces these mirrors and I thank her very much for her gift, complete with a picture card and lipstick kiss marks.
I walk through a park with her holding hands like any boyfriend and girlfriend would do on any given afternoon, weather permitting. She steps up on a small ledge but she still doesn’t even come close to approaching my tall drink of water farang stature. She comments on our height difference telling me of never being with a man as tall as I. She is not the tall blonde Barbie figured western woman so sought after back home, but I still really enjoy her in every way.
In a bar I am introduced to a friend that appears to be the same age, but I cannot tell. They enter into a conversation and as I take an interest in linguistics I only wish I could understand the complete structure and meaning of the language. Later I’m told that her friend was making comments on how young I was and by my interpretation of her friend’s true meaning, I was a little young for her. She being, at the time, only 27, I still might have been on the young side, but what really matters?
When we walk hand in hand down the street at night I interpret the looks from the crowd as a farang with a working girl. She might take on the look of an Isaan Thai, but happens to be from the South and works as a tour guide for two weeks at a time down there, not to mention picking up a tan. We would always take turns picking up bills for cabs, tuktuks, hotel rooms, meals, etc. I really enjoyed what she did for me, what she showed me, and how well we connected.
It was never really a conscious process when it occurred at first. After a month of two of living there I found myself noticing some of the many very attractive Asian women that grace the city. It didn’t take long for me to start approaching some of these women at the bar, hoping for something to happen.
I didn’t really try that hard until I started to attend a post-secondary institution, where I could meet women on a daily basis. I found myself “seeing” a few women I met, and eventually dating a Filipino. It was all good while it lasted, then I found myself single again and back on the prowl. I was looking for a girl that sparked my interest and managed to get another Asian female attracted to me and became involved for a little over a month. At this point my friends were beginning to notice what was happening and made a call. All one has to do is observe my behavior when there is an attractive Asian female present. I will notice any within close proximity no matter what the situation is.
I don’t know what the hell happened to me over there but I now have a strong attraction that I couldn’t shake even if I wanted to. I decided to take a harmless holiday after working a long road construction stint, but it turned out to be a life altering process that extended into life in my country. I should make it clear that I met a few women in Thailand that I got to know only for a brief period that contributed to my current condition. It just seemed after I met one, she was the catalyst that set off a chain reaction.
My situation just seems all too odd to all my white friends that only date white women. I am regularly reminded of my special interest and new people are often introduced to it. The whole situation has just become weird and I don’t know what to
do. Like I said, I don’t know what the hell happened to me over there but for one, it was totally unintentional, considering I was quite ignorant when I went, and for two, it didn’t cross my mind that it would carry over into my
life back home. I begin to wonder if I would have been better off not even going in the first place or saving it until a later time in my life. I don’t know what the hell I was doing over there, by myself, at 18 years of age. One thing
I know for sure is moving to Vancouver, which is a common move for a Calgarian, won’t help out the situation.
Guys who have never dated Asian woman just don't get it!