Readers' Submissions

Siam Smile Mental Clinic

  • Written by Anonymous
  • March 11th, 2006
  • 4 min read


Black Pagoda Patpong Bangkok

Well since Mr. Stickman says that he would like less negativity in the submissions and that we are complaining too much, I thought of making a small humorous essay. Here you go. Please don't expect too much of it.

Last week I was sitting in the movie theater with a TU student. In the trailers they were advertising a Korean movie called My Boyfriend is Type B. So I asked my companion what blood type she was. She said she was also B. Well, then she asked me what blood type I was. I said I that I am A positive. She was shocked and went suddenly pale and she scared me because she was starting to look like Dracula.

What is wrong with you, I asked.

She said if I am positive, then I must have AIDS. (To spoil the joke now I really tried to convince here that positive and negative was a term referring to the rhesus factor and that through studying Rhesus monkeys, a certain blood protein was discovered. This protein is also present in the blood of some people. Other people, however, do not have the protein. The presence of the protein, or lack of it, is referred to as the Rh (for rhesus) factor. But no matter in whatever way I explained her the context, she was sticking to her point that I have AIDS if my blood type was positive.)

There is a very good movie seller on the corner of (sorry folks ask me through mail where it is). It always attracts a huge crowd of Thais, sometimes a few white collar Westerners. They know this movie shop is different from others, because they have the newest movies and they have the originals. Not the shitty camera in the cinema stuff you get from all the vendors along Sukhumvit and Patpong.

Anyway one time I was let down. But then, not really. Let me explain what happened. I sent my motorbike driver, Mr Soandso, to get 2 movies there. Syriana and Casanova. He called me that they don't have 100% good copies. So I told him to get it anyway. I was expecting to see the usual camera in the cinema thing, but I was too lazy to go to the cinema and I did not care how good the quality was of the movies, I just wanted to see them. So, to my surprise, Syriana was perfect. I wondered what he said about the poor quality. I thought, typical Thai. A lot to do about nothing. But later that day, I wanted to watch Casanova with Heath Ledger. Well, I started the DVD and the quality was perfect. So I thought: Ahh, these Thais again! Why do they make everything so complicated? Anyway, then I see Peter O'Toole. I did not know that he was playing in the new Casanova movie. What a nice surprise, I am such a big fan of his work! But a few minutes later I realize, that this movie is also called Casanova, but it is the 2004 BBC television version. But it had the same packaging like the new cinema version. This time I did not mind being the victim of a scam. I enjoyed it very much. I also enjoyed the subtitles. In one scene Casanova is talking to three sisters merely to entertain them, because they are so bored. He brags: I have been translating the lyrics of Zoroaster but the subtitles said: I have been translating the lyrics of Zorro. Well I found the subtitles even more amusing than the movie. Maybe they used a modern pop culture translation.

A German friend of mine wanted to know if Rado watches were cheaper in Thailand than in Europe. To get a general idea about the local prices, I went to Central Chidlom . At the Rado shop I asked for the price for the specific model he wanted. The shop girl pointed to the watch, but the price tag was laying on the wrong side, so I could not read it. I told her that the price

tag was upside down and to show me the watch i.e. to take the watch out from the glass display so I could see the price tag, but she refused! I thought she was extremely service minded. Anyway, I heard that there was another Rado shop in the new Erewan building and I found the shop, but it turned out that it had Omega and Tissot, but no Rado. They told me there was a watch shop behind the Big C opposite the Central World Plaza called Thai Wah, I am not sure I believe it means Thai Deer or something. So I walked over there and I did not find it. So I thought I would ask a security guard. He said he had never heard of the shop. I pointed at my watch, he said, there was no watch shop here. As we were talking and he kept involving friends and street vendors into the discussion, who also did not know of any watch shop in the area, I took a new look around. Behind the security guard were some watches in the display of a window. Then I looked up and I saw, that I was standing right in front of the Thai Wah watch shop. Well, as I found out later inside, the security guard was actually employed by this shop And yes, the watches were not really cheaper than in Europe.


Stickman's thoughts:

You've got to laugh!