It was my first time overseas at the ripe old age of 31. Boy, couldn’t wait. Thailand here I come! I chose Thailand because I used to work in a Thai restaurant years ago and befriended one of the chefs. Great guy, not sure where the hell he is right now but if I ever bump into him what a piss up we will have! I was also told by an air hostess friend of mine to go to Ko Samui instead of Phuket. Cheaper for one, and less touristy.
So I landed at Bangkok airport and met my shuttle, no problem. Arriving in the city and traveling towards my hotel I was amazed at what I was seeing. I thought I had made the biggest mistake of my life! Old, dilapidated buildings and then the occasional nice one thrown in the mix. And this was before I saw the traffic and amount of people – Yikes!! Now let me just say beforehand that I did not have a guidebook, did not know about Stickmanbangkok or any other site for that matter. Did some research and tried to speak to a few people who have been here. These were all above board – nothing seedy, and no tips about scams etc, etc …(and I’m no sex tourist).
That day and for the next couple I did all the touristy stuff and walked a shit load. I’m sure
I did half a marathon. I booked a trip down south to Ko Samui and needed to kill a few more days before my departure. I moved to a cheaper hotel closer to Siam Square (Reno Hotel). If anybody knows where this is there was this guy who does organized tours. If you page the whole book you’ll get to some interesting stuff at the back. One evening while just chilling outside the WTC having a beer and listening to the live band I struck up a conversation with some old geezer. Short little guy who later turned out to be a horny one as well. He asked me all sorts of questions and it was agreed later that he would take me to a strip joint.
So off we went. It was a bit expensive to get into this place I thought but in we went. A bit small inside but packed with people, mostly foreign women – strange. Following day we went to Helen plaza. Man, I have never seen anything like this. Beautiful women sitting on steps behind a glass wall with a number attached. Sounds like farm sale but hey, all you have to do is call out a number. I was recommended this gorgeous petite girl in pink. After this dude (manager I think) wanted to confirm my choice I had a look and yikes, he was saying, “girl in pink are you sure” me: “yeah, but not the fat one, the other one – the nice one.” So off we went – 2000 baht for 2 hours. Nice big room with a huge mirror on the wall and huge bathtub.
In the bathtub for a scrub. Enjoyed that as she washes all over. She couldn’t speak a word of English but that only added to the entertainment. She dries me then lays me down on the bed. Next it’s her turn. She lay next to me wraps the condom on my already erect manhood and off we go to heaven. I’m really working her, we change and she goes on top. She really starts to pump and I’m sure she must have thought – “when is he going to come”, judging by the look on her face. It took me forever to come but it was all worth the wait. We wash again, I get a ‘mini-massage’ and then it’s round 2. Not long after that the phone rings and she says to me “10 minutes” in perfect English. While getting dressed I cannot keep my eye off this mirror. Man, it looked like a two-way to me. Anyway off we go and along the way we bump into the cleaning lady. This chick couldn’t take her eyes off me. I was sure that she was probably watching me while someone else was filming. Who knows I could be a porn star!!
Back in Ko Samui I stayed on Lamai beach. Great bungalow with friendly owners. Just down the road I stopped to have a beer at one of the bars. Wasn’t long before I struck up a conversation with one of the bargirls. Just some friendly banter. I left and made a BIG mistake. Never, ever say you will see them later if you don’t mean it. I went further down and met this beautiful girl. She was gorgeous!! English was up to shit, but hey, who cares. She was new to the island, only been there for 3 days. I managed to organize that she show me around the island the following day. After quite a few beers I staggered back to my place and ‘lo and behold’. Who is waiting for me? That same chick I told that I’d be back later. She only gave me a piece of her mind.
Then she wants to come to my place, which I refuse initially. She grabs my nuts and what can I say. After so many beers a shag is good. She was a bit loud, I mean loud. Not sure if she thought I was enjoying that or not. “Oh darling you so good” – had me laughing…anyway a bit pissed we finish off and then we can’t find the condom. I couldn’t care because I was too pissed. This chick went crazy, shouting aids and if I came etc…now I should’ve been worried as well but I was so pissed I went straight to bed (back home I got an STD from this girl).
Next morning I walked her to her place and off I went to meet girl number 2. We arranged to meet at 11am. I told girl number 1 what I was doing and left it at that. Girl number 2 brings along her friend, for the English. Three of us on one bike – lovely. First I’m in the middle then I swap and go to the back. It rained a bit the previous evening. As we are driving we come to a sharp bend and we must’ve hit a bit of sand and water but the bike swerves out of control. As we are not going fast and I can see an accident happening I jump off and skid on the road a bit. No injury to me – just a small scratch. The other two are lying sprawled out in the street. I pick them both up and the bike.
My girl injured her leg a bit. I get water for the wound and her friend sends her home. She insists on taking me further to complete our journey. I think, okay, a bit nervous and off we go. Later I meet up with girl number 2 and take her to the pharmacy where the wound is cleaned and I buy stuff for her leg. I pay for the damage to the bike, which wasn’t much. I stay with girl number 2 and she sleeps over at my place. First night she asks me what I want and I try to explain in a nice way a shag but she will have none of it (think she wanted me to say wife). She ends up sleeping on the floor. Second night she sleeps next to me but still no shag. Eventually I got nothing-whole week, but that was cool. I enjoyed her
company, with limited English. I taught her English and she showed me more about traditional Thai food etc. I had a great time with this girl, nice long hair. Caught her in the toilet once taking a number 2. Man that was bad. My best one doesn’t come close to that smell.
Anyway, girl number one catches us at the beach and did I get a licking from her friends. She said nothing but her friends spoke Thai to girl number 2 and it didn’t sound good. Well that was the end of me. I could see her attitude change a bit after that. I left for home with mixed feelings but I had a great time.
Will be heading back to Thailand again, not sure when, as there are so many other places to see.
No, of course you're not a sex tourist…not that there is anything wrong with that.