Stickman Readers' Submissions March 1st, 2006

If You Find A Decent Thai Girl, Don’t Mess Her About!

I’ve only just started reading the readers’ submissions on Stickman’s website, and what entertainments they are! My interest was spurred by my recent first visit to Thailand which entailed a few days in Bangkok and six weeks in Samui.

Yes, I’m the apparent archetypal 49 year old British male, married with grown up kids, whose wife has long gone off sex. We both still care about each other, but the passion has gone. Seriously, though, I had to make a choice. Fifty
is too young to give up sex, and I’m sorry but you’d have to be either an idiot or a saint to give up sex for the rest of your days because you ‘love and respect’ the wishes of your wife. Too many guys lose their sting
at this age, and give in to the pipe, slippers, and the downward slope to retirement. Bollocks!

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Anyway, enough of that. I’d purchased a round the world ticket, intending to disappear for six months, whatever the family thought. Then independently of each other, two friends recommended Thailand. So I cancelled the round the world
trip (why did I feel relieved?), and bought a first class return to Bangkok (twat!) for the same money. However, when I got up and went for a walk around the Airbus 340 I looked at the 250 odd punters crammed into economy; at that moment the additional
£1000 spent seemed well worth it. Yes, a bargain at £1624 on Kuwait Airways! I’m happily stupid, but not stupid enough to spend four grand on BA.

Floated into Bangkok on a morning, looked with puzzlement at the football-pitch-sized plot of land with a dome-like structure in the centre and some kind of stone obelisk standing in each corner (can anyone tell me what this is?) and touched
down with the most gentle landing I’ve ever experienced (give that Kuwaiti Captain a medal). It seemed like a good omen.

I’m not going to bore you with first impressions of Bangkok because if you’re reading this you already know, but if you’re open minded and receptive and British you may know that the United Kingdom has become a disintegrating
shithole of winter greyness, control, boredom, stress and misery. Does anybody think that increased wealth and Blair has brought us more happiness? I now prefer the heat, stink and poverty of Bangkok anytime, because this place is still alive.

Let off the hook, I had a ball. I never went near bar girls the whole time I was in Thailand. Just walked up to a nice looking girl in the street in Sukhumvit and asked her if she’d spend the night. Next morning, 2000 THB poorer, I
never regretted it for a minute.

The second night, I was tired. The journey from the UK had finally caught up and an early night alone seemed inviting, when I could dwell on memories of the night before. I went for a final stroll through the street market about 10.30, and
for some unknown reason I crossed over a road bridge to the other side which was much darker, with no stalls. I saw five Thai ladies together in the doorway of an Indian restaurant, laughing and talking. The light of a street lamp shone on the
eyes and laughing mouth of only one of them, and in that instant I was hooked. Without thinking I pointed directly at her, and said ‘I’ll have you!’ Without a quibble, no conversation, she joined me and we started walking
back towards my hotel on Soi 11. She was petite, slim, full of laughter, and she put her arm around me. I’ve never before in my life experienced such spontaneity and all my senses before and since have told me it was genuine. I’ve
not had reason so far to doubt it, and the first night I spent with her was completely magic. The most loving and caring responses, she gave me exactly, completely, everything which I had been wanting and not receiving, from my wife, and as many
times as I wanted it. I thought she was about 30, she turned out to be 42!

You may ask, how can anyone give such a thing when an hour before we didn’t know the other existed? Well partly it is because when one is starving, any food is a god send. The second thing is because it is Thailand, and in spite of
all the verbal discourse on Stickman’s website about Thai women, I am a man of the world and have met and loved women of many nationalities in my time, in many places around the world. After spending time in Thailand I can only confirm
what others have said before me, and that is that generally, in comparison to other places, women in Thailand are made to give love.

In spite of the above idealism, I am still a man, and stupid with it. The next night, after having exchanged phone numbers with her, I was in an airport hotel preparing for the next stage, an early morning flight to Samui. At 11.45pm, just
as I was about to fall asleep alone in my 6 foot bed, my phone rang. ‘I miss you, I need you!’ All I could reply was that I was very tired, she had worn me out the night before, I needed to sleep and I would call her from Samui.
It was only then after 24 hours in Samui that I realised that I faced the prospect of ‘butterfly’ every night if I wanted sex. Did I want to go through the same process with every girl I met, spend upwards of 2000 baht on drinks
and fees every time? I realised that however good any future girl I might meet, she was unlikely to be surpassed by the girl from my second night in Bangkok.

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I called her and invited her to spend time with me in Samui. To her credit (or possibly my innocence) it took her six hours to reply and say yes. It then took some hours of effort on my part to find out her proper family name (for the e-ticket/ID
card), faxing a copy of my credit card to her for the airline, so that she could travel without check in problems. She was not even an Isaan girl (I only found out later what this means). I finally sorted things out and got the e-ticket mailed
to her hotmail address. She told me later that it was not the money I spent that endeared her to me, but the obvious time and effort I spent in getting her to Samui.

In the 48 hours before she arrived, I promised myself that I would be good, but the next night found me at the Reggae Pub in Chaweng. I sat at a table near the dance floor, with a beer and drowned myself in the classic commercial reggae that
you never hear now in English nightclubs. A couple of Spanish guys sat at my table, and before long, three Thai ladies had somehow contrived to join us! You see, even with no intentions on my part, fate lent a hand and the flesh is so weak! The
girl who ended up with me was tall, slim, beautiful and sexy. We talked, we danced, and uninvited(!) she told me she liked me and wanted to spend time with me. When the club closed at 2am she took me to another bar in Chaweng and we talked till
6am. A taxi took us to my chalet and there you go.

Actually, she was not that good in bed, and I was disappointed. About 2pm I awoke, and realised that my beloved and exciting Bangkok girl was due to arrive in about 8 hours! My stupidity and the realisation that in spite of the high opinions
I held of myself I was actually a shit, made me really depressed suddenly. I had a brainwave! Earlier, I had managed to block the toilet by excessive use of toilet paper. Being a Westerner I had not yet mastered the Thai (and much cleaner) art
of using the water hose/spray attached to the cistern. I had not yet reported this to reception, and in a contrived panic I flushed the loo and allowed the water to spill over the bathroom floor along with the contents of the toilet. I informed
the lady of this, and said that it would be impossible for us to shower, and that I would have to call reception to fix the pom pam. She co-operated by telling me that she would go home now, and perhaps I would contact her later. Whew!

When I met my Bangkok lady at the airport we rushed into each other’s arms, and I was so happy that all the deceptions of earlier in the day faded into the background. I was to pay the price however, because it turned out that this
Bangkok lady was far sharper and experienced of males than I had expected. After a couple of days of extreme fun and pleasure, she asked me why I had kept my mobile switched off. When I hesitated she said that she knew why – I had met someone
before she got to Samui, and I didn’t want this person contacting me. I could only meekly agree, and (hopefully to my credit) lamely explained what had happened. To her credit, she was direct, firm and explicit. She said she would give
me only one chance to rectify things, otherwise she would immediately fly back to Bangkok and I would never see her again. I must call this girl in front of her, and tell her I could not see her again. I switched on my mobile, and several awaiting
text messages from this girl immediately registered themselves!

Some of you will think I’m a wimp <YEP!Stick>. All I can say is that in a flash I realised that the choice she had given me was a fair one, and she had the guts to do it in spite of her obvious fondness
for me. I could swallow my pride, shame and embarrassment and keep her, or submit to a few weeks of ‘butterfly’ (not that bad!) – but then I would never know if the relationship with this Bangkok lady would develop into something
better than I had ever had before.

No competition! To bring this (overlong) tale to a close, I called the other lady forthwith, was honest about what I’d done, and ended it. Since nothing much had progressed, this could not have been too upsetting for her, but I was
not about to dwell on it. For the next forty days and nights I was continually in the company of this Bangkok lady, and didn’t regret a second. She turned out to be fiery, genuine, true, fun and loving, and in turn I loved her equally.
I have returned to the UK now and speak to her several times a week. I have ended my marriage and am in the process of sponsoring the Thai lady in her attempt to come to the UK. If this fails, I will go and spend time with her in Bangkok.

To those who have read thus far, I’m sure there are many who would think me gullible to do this, especially as there are so many stories of people who have made big mistakes with Thai ladies. I can only say once again that in the continuous
time I spent with her I never once detected any inconsistencies in her words or behaviour. If you are living a lie,

sooner or later something will show up, and I was looking for this. There is an old saying – ‘Believe in God, but tether your horses.’ I can also say that with both my previous marriages over 30 years, whatever my own behaviour I have been treated callously and with falseness on many occasions by these women. It is not only Thai women you have to watch out for!

So there you have it. Life is risk, love is risk. I don’t have a crystal ball but as long as things are true I hope we stay together. One thing I do know is that I would rather die single and lonely than live in state of dullness, habit and falseness in a long dead relationship. With this Thai lady I have been given another chance to get things right at the beginning of the later stages of life, and I’ll do my best not to blow it.

Stickman's thoughts:

Wow, I thought you were going to say that you went back to the UK and life continued…. Do let us know how things progress with Miss Bangkok.

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