Incountry #7

I suppose there are as many approaches to being sex tourists as there are sex tourists. But I have a couple of humble ideas to contribute to the mix.

Most Thai doctors that I have known have no problem with me being in the room when a lady is examined (to make sure the examination actually takes place) and further have no problem explaining to me in detail the results of the exam and the blood tests. This, in my experience costs 500 to 800 baht for the whole testing process and takes about two hours. Fuk lao by kle nik (we go clinic). No, it’s not foolproof but it only takes a couple of hours. (If you are with the same lady 24/7 after the testing it is better than not having any idea what the physical condition of your companion is. It may seem odd but I have never encountered any resistance to going to a clinic of my choice and getting checked out.

I know a couple of gogos that test monthly. I was there when a dancer was told she could not work anymore. Not a pretty sight.

Then there is the disco scene. I guess one could call that freelancing but it seems a little above the streetwalker deal to me. Plus there is the added adventure of making a complete ass out or yourself by asking someone who is not for sale if she is for sale. I really like the disco in the Nana Hotel. It is fun just to watch even if you are not going for any action. The girls usually come in groups and scope out the scene and make their plans as to whom to seduce. There is no action there till after midnight and by that time most of the Farangs are dead drunk or close to it. It is like going to a bad B movie but those movies are fun at times.

I have been in three kinds of discos. The obvious after bars close Nana thing. A half and half where one half of the ladies are carry out and the others are there to dance or socialize with boyfriends. And lastly the Thai mostly University student discos. It is easy to tell a real University student from a freelancer. I have found the only chance here is if the disco has a restroom area removed from the dance floor. Make eye contact and then follow her to the restroom and take a shot. If you are wrong you will only have to fight your way through 50 or 60 young Thai guys to get out the door.

I like the tour guide, master of ceremonies, head waiter or Major Domo approach. That is, find a relatively older experienced lady and have her coordinate your adventures.

This stems from my own personal experiences. I have been a manager of people all of my life and have gotten used to delegating responsibility. My only skill has been hiring the right people. I find that after hiring the right person the job becomes simple. Of course I am not looking for the love of my life. I am looking for peace, contentment, spiritual awakening and wild acrobatic multi partner sex with a minimum of risk at a reasonable cost.

Since I don’t do much Viagra I am more into three women once a day than one woman three times a day.

I have heard it said on this site that threesomes or moresomes do not work in Thailand. That may be true for some people or in fact most people. But if you choose your Thai assistant carefully and everyone knows what is going down the results can be pleasantly surprising and amazingly affordable.

At any given time on any night in NEP there are a hundred dancers that will be happy to take 500 baht . There are even dancers who are willing to love you for love in return. The challenge is to find them. If your Thai assistant is wired into the bar girl A gogo network she knows who needs money and who is not taken that night, who is off that day and what each lady likes.

There is also another element to the Major Domo approach. Frankly, no one is going to rip off the Princess (my Major Domo). Cops? No, she eats them up like potato chips. Tuktuk drivers? Ha, that’s a laugh. Ladies of the night? You gotta be kidding, after a half hour they are clued in, life time friends and going to the Wat in the morning together and calling me Pa (that‘s kind of like, “who‘s your daddy“).

Where did I learn about the Major Domo idea? Vietnam 1968. I was the lowest ranking (Sergeant) person in my office. The next lowest rank was Major. I got all the jobs the Major didn’t want. Like building bunkers, and washing windows and mowing the grass (hard as that is to believe the general actually had grass growing in Vietnam in the middle of a war). I had watched the other NCOs struggling while trying to manage Vietnamese day laborers. The ineffective NCOs stood there, hands on hips barking instructions to everyone or they pitched in and tried to help them do the work. I found, however, one Aussie Sergeant who just sat in a shaded chair and drank beer while his Vietnamese crew performed perfectly and efficiently. I noticed he only talked to one of the laborers, his Vietnamese Major Domo.

Face and status Asian style were not natural for me. I had to learn that men of wealth and rank have people to do things and that is expected here. So I found Nguyen Tran Dip and life was never the same. Everything improved. The office ran better, the food got better, the Vietnamese were happy, I was happy and the General was happy.

When I went on my first R&R in Taipei I bar fined a mamma san and was amazed at the results. I still remember her words “Kelly I think Typhoon come tonight, iayeeeeee.” Typhoon was obviously a code word as we walked the streets choosing participants for the nights festivities.

Arriving in The Kingdom some months later I realized the same principles applied.

Stickman's thoughts:

Your 500 baht quote just excited half the English teachers in Bangkok.